I'm in need of some advice, not in regards to my current child but to the situation involving a second. I'm at a point where I don't know where else to ask and its beginning to take a toll on myself, my work and my life as a whole.
Bit of a background of myself:
I'm currently in a very rocky relationship with my partner with whom I've been dating for almost 3 years. Our daughter was not planned.
- I currently work full time (40 hr weeks)
- I attend TAFE to further my education to provide a better life for my daughter
- This leaves me with one full day off a week.
- I attend TAFE full time Saturdays and one night a week (All free of charge)
- I have a beautiful 9 month old daughter whom I adore
Since my daughter was born I've been put through absolute hell. I've had my car window smashed by my partner, who then lied to police and had me issued with an AVO and I'm currently defending it in court. There has been constant arguments in regards to money and now, my partner wanting a second child.
For the past 6 months my partner has been wanting to have another child, apparently "she has always wanted two close together". I'm far from ready to have another child, between my relationship, money and my current feelings i could not possibly want to bring another child into the world right now.
Progressively it has gotten worse. My partner has let this whole second baby fiasco take over her life.
I'm constantly telling her with this that I'm not ready and that she needs to respect that. I also advise her that there life is different, we dont know there situation, we dont know why they have two kids; quite frankly, its not our business.
- She gets angry seeing other people with multiple children
- And says "What makes her so special?"
- She gets anxious to go out because she will see women with multiple children
- "what makes them different, why can they have two kids?"
Our sex life is ruined because shes so serious about sex for another baby. We can't have sex anymore because If i pull out, she gets angry "whats the point in sex if youre going to pull out?"
The other day she has put a 2 seater pram on layby which she wants to pay of herself. I have no issue with this however told her we do not currently have the money to have a second child and im simply just not ready.
I'm constantly being yelled at for going to TAFE. that i apparently dont care about my daughter because i spent my time studying.
This has all been going on for 6 months now and it keeps getting worse. Shes literally obsessed with having another baby and lets it control her in every single way. She refuses to see someone when i suggest it. I'm also constantly abused that "Im the one who needs help, im selfish for doing this too her"
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect. I've done my fair share i could of done better, but i cannot handle this for much longer. I want to leave.
I just want out, i dont want my life or my daughters life being affected by this obsession.
I don't know what to do, I dont want to leave because I know what its like to not have parents, i dont want to do this to my daughter. I've tried for 6 months to comfort her and tell her i want another baby, just not yet.
Seriously, I'd love to have a boy, but im just not ready!
What can i do, Am i the one in the wrong?