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  1. #11
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    No I don't. The only time I have is when I found it distressing and needed advice myself. Otherwise, what is told to me in confidence stays there.

  2. #12
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    guilty. I see telling my hubby as basically being a safe way to share it without it going any further.

    I fully expect anything confidential I tell my friends that they will share with their hubby/partner.

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  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Poppy View Post
    Just because I am married to someone doesnt give me the right to share my friends secret. That is their private information it isnt my secret to share.
    I agree. ^

    Yes, we may be married, but my friends secrets are just that 'their' secrets and not mine to tell.

    We have no secrets in our marriage/relationship, but that's our secrets, not others.

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  6. #14
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    Nope i dont tell DH my friends secrets.
    Mostly because he has a habit of oversharing and forgets that what ive told him is a secret

  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Uniquey View Post
    I agree. ^

    Yes, we may be married, but my friends secrets are just that 'their' secrets and not mine to tell.

    We have no secrets in our marriage/relationship, but that's our secrets, not others.
    Completely agree. My friends' secrets or news are not mine and not for me to share so I don't.

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  9. #16
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    I don't get told many secrets, really. But if I did tell him one, he's like a vault so he wouldn't tell anyone. He's definitely not a gossiper (is that a word?). He doesn't particularly give a sh!t about everyone else's business.

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    Yes, I absolutely. I can't keep anything to myself

  11. #18
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    It would depend, but mostly yes I would. Sometimes I need to debrief with DH other times he may wonder why I'm helping out more/ more involved.

    If I was specifically asked or I felt it wasn't appropriate I wouldn't share with him.

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    If my friends tell me something in confidence i wouldn't tell anyone else because its not my business to share anyone elses secrets.

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    Quote Originally Posted by preggasaurus View Post
    I think it's a given, if I tell somebody something, then they will share it with their partner.

    I recently shared something very private with a friend, and I know she told her husband..
    I never assumed that but after reading this thread I certainly won't be so naïve! My best friend is single so I guess it's not something I'm overly concerned about but I wouldn't "expect" that she would tell her partner something I've told her in strict confidence even if she wasn't single.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Uniquey View Post
    Nope, a secret is a secret to me, so I never tell my DH anything said to me in confidence by a friend, as I figure if they have said it to me with the express wishes of keeping it in confidence, well then that's what I do. That said, I still don't tell him secrets even if they haven't stated it to be kept confidential.

    Quite a few times I have had a friend tell me something and they've been surprised when they find out that DH didn't know because I didn't tell him and then they've said things like, "Oh, I wouldn't have minded if you told your DH, I expected you too", that always surprises me.
    I agree with this completely.

    Quote Originally Posted by sunnygirl79 View Post
    We pretty much share everything. I know my closest friends share everything with their husbands too, so I would never tell them something if I didn't want their DHs to know too. It goes without saying in our circle of friends. However I would always stipulate that a secret is just that, so my husband was clear not to blab.

    I am of the opinion that there are no secrets in a marriage. I appreciate not everyone views marriage this way but that's what we believe in. If you can't share a secret with your life partner then who are you supposed to share it with?
    I note that you say you would tell your husband if it was a secret so he knew not to blab if you were divulging a secret to him that you had been told. Do you not see the irony in this?

    And I have plenty of secrets, things about me that my husband doesn't know. Being married doesn't mean I'm not entitled to my own life, thoughts and feelings. I don't share absolutely everything with him. I have no particular preference what other people do but assuming people would be comfortable with your husband knowing something they'd told you in confidence is very presumptuous.

    And I share plenty of things with my husband. Friend's secrets aren't one of them. The definition of a secret is that it's not something that's shared, life partner or not.

    And as a side note, I've known my closest friend twice as long as I've known my husband. She knows more about me than he does. Chances are she'll outlive him (statistically) so I suppose she's more my life partner than he is!

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