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  1. #31
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    I had my first at 21. I feel more ready to have another child now but I won't be having any more due to other reasons. I am now 30.

  2. #32
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    hakuna matata is offline The artist formerly know as babyhopeful
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    We chose to have one while we were relatively young, then another when they'd started school. So we had DS at 21, then we went about setting ourselves up. I finished uni, gained an ongoing job, built a beautiful home and enjoyed our little man. I'm now 27 and recently had DD.
    Looking back I was probably more relaxed with a newborn this time as compared to 6 years ago. But our DS is a gorgeous little man and thriving.
    Our best friends are yet to have kids. They've done the big wedding and travel thing. I'm grateful we'll be able to travel later in life, and I'll be 'free' to help my friends out when they start their families.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by hakuna matata View Post
    We chose to have one while we were relatively young, then another when they'd started school. So we had DS at 21, then we went about setting ourselves up. I finished uni, gained an ongoing job, built a beautiful home and enjoyed our little man. I'm now 27 and recently had DD.
    Looking back I was probably more relaxed with a newborn this time as compared to 6 years ago. But our DS is a gorgeous little man and thriving.
    Our best friends are yet to have kids. They've done the big wedding and travel thing. I'm grateful we'll be able to travel later in life, and I'll be 'free' to help my friends out when they start their families.
    I have only just started my travel. Next travel plans are to either Japan or China with kiddo for his birthdaynext year and the following year it will be a trip by myself again over to the US with people I met on my tour when I recently went to Egypt.

  4. #34
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    I had my first at 25 & I was 100% ready. I had been married for 5 years, finished my degree,worked for a few years, and bought a house. I havent travelled, but I'm ok with that happening later in life. I always said I wanted to have all my 3 kids by the time I'm 30,which I did... but now at 31 am debating the 4th, so I dont know what I will do there! There is no perfect age, just what is right for you.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by hakuna matata View Post
    We chose to have one while we were relatively young, then another when they'd started school. So we had DS at 21, then we went about setting ourselves up. I finished uni, gained an ongoing job, built a beautiful home and enjoyed our little man. I'm now 27 and recently had DD.
    Looking back I was probably more relaxed with a newborn this time as compared to 6 years ago. But our DS is a gorgeous little man and thriving.
    Our best friends are yet to have kids. They've done the big wedding and travel thing. I'm grateful we'll be able to travel later in life, and I'll be 'free' to help my friends out when they start their families.
    I think being more relaxed with your second child is just part of being a parent for the second time round, and nothing to do with age.

    I had kids young, felt ready, my kids are grounded and I don't regret anything. I'm in my early 30's now and couldn't imagine having a baby now. I feel too old to have a baby...but that's probably because the baby stage was over years ago. Our kids are growing up watching us establish careers, we love travelling with our kids and sharing new experiences with them, too. If I had a choice I'd choose to have my family young again.

  6. #36
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    hakuna matata is offline The artist formerly know as babyhopeful
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    I think my age did help me feel more relaxed, not the fact that it was my second. Looking back I was quite stressed with him as a baby, and the 6 years helped me get over that.

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    Fair enough ☺ For myself, and my family and friends, we have all agreed that having a baby second time round is so much easier because you're more relaxed, and feel more confident with what you're doing. Not to say that parenting two kids is necessarily easy, talking solely about the comparisons between looking after your first baby, and looking after your second baby. But you know what you feel, so not trying to debate the point at all ☺

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    Second time round is easy? God, well my life is totallyback to front then! I put it down to the temperaments of my two kids - my first was so calm and such a good sleeper, my second is wild, always crying and just unreadable (see my other post on weaning). Yep, maybe I'm the exception - but at 25 I was more ready than at 31. At 31 I was trying to re-establish myself after the first... Travelled with my first, started a second degree and began going out with my friends again. Then BAM!! Life threw a curve ball at me. I was older, wiser maybe, but this time much less ready. I'm still grappling with my new reality, but am sure in years to come - with two kids, two degrees, a house and hopefully a fulfilling career and much future travel - I'll be so immensely grateful for where my life has taken me ❤️

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    I'm 34 and DH is 41. We have an 11 month old DD. She was very much planned (ivf) but I still didn't feel ready to be a parent. I felt I couldn't put it off for another few years though due to age and existing fertility issues. Having said that I don't think age had anything to do with my lack of readiness just fear of the unknown really. I am glad for me that I didn't have them any earlier.
    I think there is no best age in general. It's an individual thing and even then there might not be a 'right' age/time for some people, you just jump in and do it! I also think there are benefits and disadvantages to both having them young or older!

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    Quote Originally Posted by MilkyMama View Post
    Second time round is easy? God, well my life is totallyback to front then! I put it down to the temperaments of my two kids - my first was so calm and such a good sleeper, my second is wild, always crying and just unreadable (see my other post on weaning). Yep, maybe I'm the exception - but at 25 I was more ready than at 31. At 31 I was trying to re-establish myself after the first... Travelled with my first, started a second degree and began going out with my friends again. Then BAM!! Life threw a curve ball at me. I was older, wiser maybe, but this time much less ready. I'm still grappling with my new reality, but am sure in years to come - with two kids, two degrees, a house and hopefully a fulfilling career and much future travel - I'll be so immensely grateful for where my life has taken me ❤️
    Of course temperament of the baby will factor in. My last baby was my most difficult by far, but had I had that temperament baby with my first I would have been a complete wreck...at least I knew it was just my baby's temperament, and not me failing at parenting ☺


 

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