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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by SummerFun View Post
    Yeah we'd pick her up Friday. DF could take her straight to the doctors for swabs but we wouldn't know immediately the results so we'd still be risking it
    Quote Originally Posted by 2 girls 1 boy View Post
    But he might get a answer from doctor saying maybe than you can take straight back to bio mum if she isn't going to do anything about it. Poor little thing if mum isn't going to do anything
    I think picking her up, taking for swabs and then possibly taking her back is a little too disruptive/confusing for her.

    I would insist on swabs and results or you cannot take her for the weekend.

    Whooping cough is not something 'small'. Yes, vaccination is fabulous and can help her have a mild case but since you are pregnant that just makes the risks so much worse.

  2. #42
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    If bio mum & hubby aren't taking it seriously could you go to your GP and get a letter from them stating that it is too risky to have you exposed to potential WC while pregnant, outlining the risks? You shouldn't have to resort to that, but if they're not taking it seriously you need to do whatever you can to protect yourself and belly bub xx

  3. #43
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    What I don't get though, is the notion that you can just 'cancel' on parenting...? It doesn't make sense to me. I mean you can ask if its OK with the mum and all, and she may agree but it doesn't sit right with me that (despite the reasonings) it can be decided on that your dh can make the call that he's not available this weekend. If she called you guys out of the blue on a Tuesday and said 'I'm no longer free to have her today so I will be dropping her off to you', what would your reaction be?

    If it was your dd who was exposed to whooping cough would you send her away for the couple days it takes for confirmation?

    I don't know. I get it is serious, really I do. I had whooping cough as a child and it wasn't fun. My son was exposed to chicken pox during my pregnancy (which I am unable to hold immunity for) and it was an anxious wait for me. Something just doesn't sit right with me about you and her dad being able to say 'nope, we're not having you this weekend' without it even being a discussion with the mum.

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  5. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barnaby View Post
    What I don't get though, is the notion that you can just 'cancel' on parenting...? It doesn't make sense to me. I mean you can ask if its OK with the mum and all, and she may agree but it doesn't sit right with me that (despite the reasonings) it can be decided on that your dh can make the call that he's not available this weekend. If she called you guys out of the blue on a Tuesday and said 'I'm no longer free to have her today so I will be dropping her off to you', what would your reaction be?

    If it was your dd who was exposed to whooping cough would you send her away for the couple days it takes for confirmation?

    I don't know. I get it is serious, really I do. I had whooping cough as a child and it wasn't fun. My son was exposed to chicken pox during my pregnancy (which I am unable to hold immunity for) and it was an anxious wait for me. Something just doesn't sit right with me about you and her dad being able to say 'nope, we're not having you this weekend' without it even being a discussion with the mum.
    You worded this much better than I was trying to!

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  7. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barnaby View Post
    What I don't get though, is the notion that you can just 'cancel' on parenting...? It doesn't make sense to me. I mean you can ask if its OK with the mum and all, and she may agree but it doesn't sit right with me that (despite the reasonings) it can be decided on that your dh can make the call that he's not available this weekend. If she called you guys out of the blue on a Tuesday and said 'I'm no longer free to have her today so I will be dropping her off to you', what would your reaction be?

    If it was your dd who was exposed to whooping cough would you send her away for the couple days it takes for confirmation?

    I don't know. I get it is serious, really I do. I had whooping cough as a child and it wasn't fun. My son was exposed to chicken pox during my pregnancy (which I am unable to hold immunity for) and it was an anxious wait for me. Something just doesn't sit right with me about you and her dad being able to say 'nope, we're not having you this weekend' without it even being a discussion with the mum.
    I understand where you are coming from, I suggested to DF last night he could ask his parents if him and DSD could stay at their place this weekend so that he could still see DSD.

    And no, if it was my DD who potentially had whooping cough I wouldn't be sending her to her dads where there was a pregnant woman and another child, in fact I wouldn't be sending her or taking her anywhere until I had an answer from the GP that she definitely didn't have it. It's putting others at risk.

  8. #46
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    Looking at it another way of your DD did have it potentially would you send her to her dads until she was clear? If it meant not seeing her for over a week?

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  10. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barnaby View Post
    What I don't get though, is the notion that you can just 'cancel' on parenting...? It doesn't make sense to me. I mean you can ask if its OK with the mum and all, and she may agree but it doesn't sit right with me that (despite the reasonings) it can be decided on that your dh can make the call that he's not available this weekend. If she called you guys out of the blue on a Tuesday and said 'I'm no longer free to have her today so I will be dropping her off to you', what would your reaction be?

    If it was your dd who was exposed to whooping cough would you send her away for the couple days it takes for confirmation?

    I don't know. I get it is serious, really I do. I had whooping cough as a child and it wasn't fun. My son was exposed to chicken pox during my pregnancy (which I am unable to hold immunity for) and it was an anxious wait for me. Something just doesn't sit right with me about you and her dad being able to say 'nope, we're not having you this weekend' without it even being a discussion with the mum.
    It's about controlling the spread of a highly contagious, serious disease - not a tit for tat between parents. It's not just about preventing the OP, her DD and DH from catching WC, it's also about the vulnerable people they could potentially then infect (eg babies and the elderly). I think the girls mum shouldn't even let her daughter leave the house (aside from a trip to the doctor) before getting the results back. It's just not worth the risk.

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  12. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Looking at it another way of your DD did have it potentially would you send her to her dads until she was clear? If it meant not seeing her for over a week?
    Personally if I was her mum I'd be straight to the doctors for a swab as other posters have suggested. Until I had the answer no she wouldn't be going anywhere, unless of course I discussed it with her dad and he didn't have a pregnant fiancé and another child at his house. If he agreed to have her at his own risk and not take her out around other people to potentially spread a horrible sickness then I'd let her go.

  13. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    It's about controlling the spread of a highly contagious, serious disease - not a tit for tat between parents. It's not just about preventing the OP, her DD and DH from catching WC, it's also about the vulnerable people they could potentially then infect (eg babies and the elderly). I think the girls mum shouldn't even let her daughter leave the house (aside from a trip to the doctor) before getting the results back. It's just not worth the risk.
    That's how I feel 100%, we have a 6 week old nephew who hasn't be vaccinated yet so there's a risk there too. I'm surprised some people are so casual about it tbh. A cough in public could potentially kill a strangers baby if I understand correctly! Eek! I would never ever take that risk for other people's safety.

  14. #50
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    Being "immunised" definitely doesn't mean she can't get it - in fact in my experience last time an outbreak occurred here it was the "immunised" ones who got it the absolute worst. Tbh, as much as I don't like antibiotics, I would probably give them to her. It at least means that 1. Anything in her system will be killed and 2. She cannot pass it on to others. Good luck!


 

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