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  1. #1
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    Default not going as planned

    I have just found out I'm pregnant with baby number 4. I have been a stay home mum since we had our third (2.5yrs) with the older two I worked full time as a single mum.
    We have had The WORST year financially just all these things happening and all money we had has gone and we are having a hard time Re-saving so the news of the fourth has floored my husband.
    The plan was I would finish my nursing next semester and work next year however my husband has now asked how I plan on doing that since we can't afford daycare and will have a newborn to which I said I'd finish and then work six months later but he knows that the only thing driving that is finances as I LOVE been at home with my kids. I do feel like I need to be doing more to contribute financially as when we are having these struggles I feel useless and before this I was always independent.
    He doesn't want me to finish he said maybe in six years when I have all kids in school I can go back and start again to which I just think more hecs debt!!
    I just don't know what to do I am torn by two different paths
    Has anyone ever been in this sort of position? What did you do? How did you cope? Was your choice the right choice?

  2. #2
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    Don't under value the part you are playing I being home with the kids. Even though you say you feel useless when you financially struggle the burden and pressure you take off your family by not having to find funds for daycare and after school care makes a huge difference.
    There is always time to change your direction and just because you aren't doing it right now doesn't mean it won't happen for you once you are all in a better place to take on the commitment of working and studying as a nurse...you said you love being at home with the kids and there is also a new born coming - embrace that and make it work...it's never a case of it wont happen it's just in a matter of time your doing a great job it tough finances and making it all work.

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  4. #3
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    I would keep the baby and finish your studies and get a job. Nursing is shift work so if you find a good family day care or centre you may only have to pay a few days a week care. Childcare and before and after school care apply childcare rebate and child care benefit and it will drop the cost considerably. You may be able to apply for JETT and by the time the baby is born your youngest will be almost 3and a half so kindy would be soon. Some schools have kindy attached and the kindy kids can go to before and after school care.

    You can do this!

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    Missyswannie1  (14-06-2016)

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    Hi. It sounds all a bit stressful. I would urge you very strongly not to drop out of your nursing. I can't see how that would have any benefits. Finishing your degree increases your employment opportunities and earning potential. It will be challenging to get it finished now but WAY more challenging to put it on hold for years and years and then essentially start again. Is it possible to get it finished before bub is born? I have friends who did their finial exams just days before their due date. Not ideal I know but you have worked so hard to get this far. The first few years of a nursing degree are tough! At the very least I would complete all your theory units and only defer your prac unit for one year. Is that an option?
    In terms of bringing in more money to the family. Well you and your DH will just have to accept that if you chose to have this baby that your contribution to the family will be growing and nurturing the newest member. At least for a little while. Once you have finished your nursing degree you will have a lot of options. You could do night shift and have days with your kids (I did this for a while (It's good for avoiding daycare but it's really exhausting), you could work agency (good hourly rate and only accept shifts when your DH is on days off or you have a babysitter), you could work school hour at a gp, you could apply to the uni to do marking (this pays REALLY well)....

    If you have got this far in your degree with 3 children then you are freaking awesome and organizing and multitasking! Finish it and go back to work as soon as you are ready after bub. 6-12 months seems reasonable. The awesome thing about nursing is that then there will be lots of part time employment opportunities. I have complete faith that you can smash out this final bit of your studies and then all your other plans will just be slightly delayed and slightly changed. Good luck. Xxx

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    My DH has a way of reacting before he settles down and thinks rationally. Could that be the case here?

    For me, I would try to take it one day, one step at a time. It's easy to be overwhelmed by the what's if, deal with what you can control now.

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    So if you only have 1 semester to go, you could finish your degree before bub comes? If that's the case then definitely do it! Get that piece of paper! You could then do some casual shift work when bub arrives? I think getting this close to the end and not finishing would be such a waste

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  12. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by bel2466 View Post
    So if you only have 1 semester to go, you could finish your degree before bub comes? If that's the case then definitely do it! Get that piece of paper! You could then do some casual shift work when bub arrives? I think getting this close to the end and not finishing would be such a waste
    I agree. If you can finish off next sem, it's done and you might be able to get a few casual shifts to tide you over.

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    Please continue with your studies, you're almost there. It would be such a waste when you've worked so hard.

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    Thanks everyone it's really lovely to hear all of that and encouraging . I think the problem is - and I should of mentioned it- I only have prac placements left and have been trying to get them done for over a year. I keep filling in all special consideration paperwork etc and they keep giving me placements that I can't possibly do as we can't afford the daycare and don't have anyone that can help us out for those times. I have done it once again for semester two and received them yesterday and again it's two placements I can't do and I'll fill in the paperwork again to try and be changed to something I can but its not looking promising - it's very frustrating .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Missyswannie1 View Post
    Thanks everyone it's really lovely to hear all of that and encouraging . I think the problem is - and I should of mentioned it- I only have prac placements left and have been trying to get them done for over a year. I keep filling in all special consideration paperwork etc and they keep giving me placements that I can't possibly do as we can't afford the daycare and don't have anyone that can help us out for those times. I have done it once again for semester two and received them yesterday and again it's two placements I can't do and I'll fill in the paperwork again to try and be changed to something I can but its not looking promising - it's very frustrating .
    Can your DH take annual leave to look after the kids while you do placement? You are sooooo nearly there, it would be such a shame to do so much work & then not complete the last 2 placements!


 

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