Attitudes like yours perpetuate the myth that women are to blame for being s.exually assaulted.
OP in my opinion your DH is out of line.
Sounds like OP's DH is open to our views on this and challenging his own preconceived notions of how men and women should behave/who to "blame" etc.
So that's really positive.
Many people find it very confronting to challenge such deeply ingrained ideas.
Even those who aren't (or don't see themselves as) meaning harm
Women use s.lut shaming to control, humilate and dominate other women.
It works both ways. Women are just as controlling and nasty. It's a talk everyone should have with their children regardless of gender.
But i also agree with the original statement of "men" doing it because i read it as "male oriented society". Which is why women tend to be shamed for things that men would be high fived for.
Plus men might do it for different reasons.
But women definitely do this as well.
To be honest i think I've even been guilty of saying something stupid that ultimately s1ut shamed another woman at some point without thinking. Very hurtful thing to do..
Also i think women tend to s1ut shame in a different way. A "you are and i am not" statement is more likely and ultimately more 'noticeable' than the form it takes coming from misogynistic men who dont need to directly insult someone to express this. Hope that makes sense.
I think men do it not only to humiliate and dominate but it's a wonderfully convenient excuse to shirk responsibility.
I see it a lot from women in cases of their husband cheating. Oh she's a sl*t, she's a home wrecker. No wonder he slept with her, look at how she dresses and how provocatively she acts! I find it's often to take responsibility OFF their husbands. When they can force sole responsibility onto the hussie, then it's easier to take back their poor husbands who were ensnared by the said hussie.
I know the topic is veering off, but it's all part of the big picture.
Last edited by ThreePeasPlease; 11-06-2016 at 15:51.
I actually think the reason we s.l.u.t shame is more complicated in the context of sexual assault.
It's often an attitude of self preservation. "She was asking for it", or "she encouraged it", give us some sense of protection that it won't happen to us. We think if we don't dress provocatively, or we don't dance provocatively, then it won't happen to us. But that's a red herring as its not about how a person dresses.
I remember when Jill Maher went missing what was so confronting for so many of us was that she did nothing that unusual that put herself in harms way, yet she still was hurt.
This is such a hard area as I have daughters and I don't want them to dress to attract attention, yet don't want them to feel shame for hiding themselves.
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