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  1. #11
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    To get the other side of this, I asked my husband, he said, "That guy is a moron. She (and no woman) is not responsible for the reaction of other men and should be free to have fun with a friend."

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  3. #12
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    And this ingrained attitude is exactly why women are somehow accountable for their own sexual assault

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  5. #13
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    I also think that your partner should have addressed it at the time. But, I also think he is wrong. In no way are you (or any other female) responsible for how men react. I'm so sick of hearing this sort of thing - from everywhere. How about men take some responsibility for themselves and realise that those sorts of reactions are out of line and completely inappropriate. What if it was reversed - men being silly and women rushing over because "those guys are wild, they're going to do something."

    I'm going to leave it at that. This is a topic that causes me to get my soap box out.

  6. #14
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    You didn't provoke anything. Since we are talking personal responsibility where does your partner feel these guy's responsibility lies? I really dislike this mentality. Like men should bear none and it's always our fault. And then this stupid, offensive notion passes onto the next generation of males.

    Your partner is being ridiculous and TBH he's teetering on the edge of victim blaming (I'm not saying you were or are one, but that generally this idea of 'it's your fault' is).

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  8. #15
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    Thanks for your replies! It has helped with him gaining some much needed insight. Thank you!! ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1465532850.955385.jpg

  9. #16
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    Default My partner and I are debating. Need help.

    I think something deeper is up if your hubby is still talking about this now.

    I do sort of see where your hubby is coming from. The poses are quite risqué in nature. You can nearly see what one of the ladies had for breakfast. I could see how someone watching might assume additional risqué photos might be taken.

    This would in no shape or form justify any of the men putting their hands on you. However I think it's reasonable to assume if someone is taking risqué photos in a public setting, they don't mind if someone else has a gawk.
    Last edited by VicPark; 10-06-2016 at 19:47.

  10. #17
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    But the guys didn't even do anything? I don't think anyone did anything wrong. You were messing about with a mate. The posses are risqué. The guys ran over hoping for a show (or to encourage one). Nothing happened. I don't understand why, even if he thought you had caused this "issue", what the issue was?

  11. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    But the guys didn't even do anything? I don't think anyone did anything wrong. You were messing about with a mate. The posses are risqué. The guys ran over hoping for a show (or to encourage one). Nothing happened. I don't understand why, even if he thought you had caused this "issue", what the issue was?
    The hubby was probably cranky as he thought the OP was secretly wanting and encouraging the sexual based attention of another male?
    (As opposed to the OP just being tipsy and doing risqué things that a couple of drunk dudes just happened to see and getting excited about).

  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    But the guys didn't even do anything? I don't think anyone did anything wrong. You were messing about with a mate. The posses are risqué. The guys ran over hoping for a show (or to encourage one). Nothing happened. I don't understand why, even if he thought you had caused this "issue", what the issue was?
    Yea I'm with you I read over the post and I was trying to figure out the issue. Nothing happened just a bunch of drunk people acting drunk. The guys just said "she's wild" big deal. The husband was probably jealous that guys where paying attention. But 4 years is just weird I don't even remember what happened 4 years ago...lol
    But seriously if I was taking photos like that in a public place DH would probably have either intervened to calm it down or would have had a bit of a talk. But thats just our personal relationship.

  13. #20
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    Disclaimer the pic is deleted so I'm just speaking generally.

    At the end of the day humans are animals, majority of animals will/ have predictable behaviour based on certain situations and scenarios.

    So in this case I think your partner has some right to be upset ( even if you weren't intending on putting on a show you were in public mucking around) but the men also are to blame for acting on impulse.

    You can't wave a red flag at a bull and then get upset it charged.

    I'm all for women rights but I am conservative and feel every human should take responsibility. We ( as women) act as we're invincible but we're not. Just because we have a legal right won't stop some bulls charging at the red flag.

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