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  1. #1
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    Default About to begin responsive settling, feeling nervous....

    So I've reached the end of my tether with my bub. Six months old and increasing difficult to get to sleep. I've done all the wrong things if I wanted her to self settle. But just did what I felt I had to when she was smaller.

    Basically, I have to rock her to sleep. She is a catnapper and wakes after 30 mins, or often after 5 mins and takes ages to get back to sleep (if she will at all). Her night sleep isn't good either. The early evening she'll wake frequently like her naps despite a bedtime routine, and when she does settle for longer its usually only for 2 hrs at a time. So I resort to bed sharing. Not easy when my toddler also comes in during the night now and cracks it if he dad tries to settle her back in her bed. She gets hysterical and screams the house down. Sigh.

    It's just so hard trying to get anything done or spend time with my other two kids with her short naps. I can't carry on with it anymore. Plus I return to work part time next month and there is no way here family day carer has time to do what I'm having to do.

    I've had a referral to sleep school accepted but it may be a long wait. In the meantime I want to try again getting her to self settle because I feel this is the key to her sleeping better. I have tried before and felt I was getting somewhere but then she got sick and when she was better just wouldn't accept the patting. It takes so long my other kids get fed up and come to find me, or fight and one comes in crying which obviously disturbs what I'm trying to do.

    But, tomorrow and Saturday both kids are out of the house for most of the day and I want to tackle it again. Feeling very nervous and trying to remind myself where to start. I'm thinking:

    Look for tired signs
    Put bub in her sleeping bag in darkened room, quick cuddle then into cot. With comforter and dummy.
    Leave the room.
    When she cries, go in and shhhh pat.
    How long do I do it for before picking her up? Until she seems too upset? Distressed rather than protesting? When she calms do I put her down again?
    Arghhh it's so difficult.

  2. #2
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    You can do it Mumma

    Pick her up for a cuddle if her crying is escalating.

    Then, cuddle until she calms down. It's okay to put her back down if she's having a bit of a grizzle though.

    I really need to get off my phone and shut my eyes but I'd love to check in again tomorrow to see how you're going.

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    Bond Girl  (10-06-2016)

  4. #3
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    Hi. I have taught two babes to self settle. I don't really feel that I can give you very specific advice on responsive settling techniques themselves because our situations are pretty different. However I will say that in order to ask a baby to put them self to sleep you must be very sure that they have all their other needs well met.
    So being warm- heat the room, dress them warmly in cotton (so they don't sweat if they get worked up and cry) and my kids are in a sleeping bag and layers of blankets (again only cotton to avoid sweating).
    Full tummy- personally at this age I would make sure solids (including protein) was well established if I was going to start teach self settling. Also just pay close attention during the day to feeding well.
    Pain and illness- never start a new routine like this if unwell and maybe even give some nurofen before bed to make sure no teething pain or anything interferes with what you are doing.
    Also I always verbally tell my kids what I expect from them. So actually saying "we are going to do something different at bed time tonight. I want you to put yourself to sleep. Mummy is here to help you but I am not going to rock you. I want you to cuddle teddy and close your eyes and go off to sleep".... Etc....
    Good luck op. Xxx

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    Bond Girl  (10-06-2016)

  6. #4
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    Well so far she's just laying there blowing raspberries looking very tired.
    I made sure she had a full tummy and she's in a warm sleeping bag. Got her dummy and comforter which she's just playing with (usually she's swaddled but I'm ditching that too). Starting to fuss now. Probably over tired! So will go in to pat her

  7. #5
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    Ah she fell asleep with me patting her after a while then woke up coughing two minutes later and is now wide awake!
    I've left the room because I'm frustrated. She's not crying. And am currently comforting myself with a bowl of the kids treat cereal, coco pops!! Sob.

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    I didn't get chance to reply to this last night but it will get easier! I remember feeling so nervous/anxious the day that we had picked to start this with DD. Her sleeping was beyond a joke and we were both at our wits end. It got to the point where I was too scared to go to bed because I knew that the whole night we'd be up and down with her. She had lost the ability to self settle after a stay in hospital.

    We only picked her up if she was really upset, otherwise we went back in there, led her back down (if she was standing) and would stay with her until she was calm again. It is hard and at times I felt like the worlds worst parent but it does get easier I promise!

    We found having music playing in her room helped, or even white noise like waves crashing, I think it gave her something to focus on other than I'm on my own and where is my mum or dad. Now when we put the music on she has cuddles in her room then kisses us on the face when she is ready to go into her cot. Like a different child and it has made such a difference to us all.

    How did you go in the end?

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    Bond Girl  (10-06-2016)

  10. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bond Girl View Post
    Ah she fell asleep with me patting her after a while then woke up coughing two minutes later and is now wide awake!
    I've left the room because I'm frustrated. She's not crying. And am currently comforting myself with a bowl of the kids treat cereal, coco pops!! Sob.
    That's okay, it might take a little while for her and you to get the hang of it. Sometimes DD would fall asleep when we were in there comforting in her and I'd get upset and feel like I'd failed but just stick with it. I think I read somewhere it takes between 3-14 days for them to get the hang of it.

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    Bond Girl  (10-06-2016)

  12. #8
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    After about an hour and a half of trying I had to pick her up and rock her because she was so over tired she was distressed. :-(
    Will try again for the next nap. She showed signs of promise anyway. :-)
    I do have white noise yes because it helps drown out my older kids noise, he he, so always leave it on now even when they are not here. I think it helps.
    Need a rest myself now!

  13. #9
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    Ok so yesterday it didn't work at all. Although I didn't have to pick her up when she woke in the evening just patted.

    Today for her first nap she's gone to sleep with about 15 mins of patting in her cot. Some protest but not too much that I had to pick her up. Thank god for white noise because my other kids haven't gone out with DH yet and they're making a racket.

    Still not sure how we'll go when she wakes after 30 mins, doubt she'll fall back to sleep without being held......

    This thread/diary is a good motivator :-)

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    Albert01  (11-06-2016)


 

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