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  1. #1
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    Default Normal to feel empty/sad following d&c!?

    So after bleeding and passing clots for a week and a half i ended up having excruciating and debilitating pains and had to call an ambulance. I was due to have a d&c on friday but ended up having one last night.
    Even though the pain has gone now, thank goodness, im now feeling sad and empty knowing my baby is no more 😢

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I've not experienced what you are going through but I'm quite sure that how you're feeling is completely normal. Have you been linked in with a counselling service or do you have anyone around you who can offer support? There are a lot of women on bh who have also miscarried and lots of support for you here but sometimes it can be helpful to talk to someone in person too. Big hugs and I'm so sorry again for the loss of your darling baby.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to besha For This Useful Post:

    crt22  (09-06-2016)

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    Totally normal. I has a missed miscarriage with twins at 8 weeks and had a d&c. Afterwards I felt very low. I have never felt depressed in my life but for a few weeks after I felt very sad and had trouble feeling happy about anything. I think it was just very disappointing because I was beginning to imagine having these babies in our family. A month on and I'm feeling better, dh and I are thinking about trying again in a few months and that's making me feel more positive. Sorry to hear you've gone through this, be kind to yourself and just keep talking through your feelings. I always felt better when I acknowledged how I was feeling with friends and my DH.

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    crt22  (09-06-2016)

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    I am sorry for your loss. It is normal absolutely! You had a growing new life inside your womb and now it's gone without a trace. You have every right to feel sad, empty, disappointed, angry or anything really. It's natural to grieve your baby you never got to meet.

    When i had a D&C for a missed MC 18 months ago I went through a whole range of emotions for weeks, months even. Firstly I was relieved, as I had quite a journey leading up to the diagnosis, and I wanted it to be over as soon as it (m/c) was confirmed. However a couple weeks later I was a complete mess overcome with grief. It takes time to work through the emotions. Be kind to yourself and give it time. And talk to someone if you feel it will help you work through it. I found my DH just didn't understand why it took me so long to move on.

    (For the record I have since had a successful pregnancy resulting in the 14 week old DS2 I am currently nursing!).

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    crt22  (09-06-2016)

  8. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by besha View Post
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I've not experienced what you are going through but I'm quite sure that how you're feeling is completely normal. Have you been linked in with a counselling service or do you have anyone around you who can offer support? There are a lot of women on bh who have also miscarried and lots of support for you here but sometimes it can be helpful to talk to someone in person too. Big hugs and I'm so sorry again for the loss of your darling baby.
    Yes i had a social worker visit me when in hospital but there is nothing said that dont already know - i know it wasn't my fault and that it just wasnt meant to be. I habr a supportive dh and family and close friends just wasnt expecting the emotions to get worse following the d&c.

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    Of course - I burst into tears as soon as I came out of anaesthetic and asked "is it done?" It felt so final but after a few days having that 'closure' helped and I think I was able to move on from my ideas about that pregnancy more quickly than I had when I miscarried naturally previously. Hugs. Go easy on yourself, I found yummy food and spending money frivolously took my mind off things temporarily. Xxx

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    crt22  (09-06-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by BettyW View Post
    Of course - I burst into tears as soon as I came out of anaesthetic and asked "is it done?" It felt so final but after a few days having that 'closure' helped and I think I was able to move on from my ideas about that pregnancy more quickly than I had when I miscarried naturally previously. Hugs. Go easy on yourself, I found yummy food and spending money frivolously took my mind off things temporarily. Xxx
    Thank you.
    Lol i like the idea of spending money ☺☺

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    Big hugs @crt22

    What you are feeling is totally normal. And you may find you have days where you are feeling better and the grief can just steam roll you again without warning.

    I took about a week after my D&C to be selfish and just focus on me. This mainly involved a lot of laying in bed reading or watching TV but it really helped.

    Go easy and yourself xx

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    crt22  (09-06-2016)

  14. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lilac07 View Post
    Big hugs @crt22

    What you are feeling is totally normal. And you may find you have days where you are feeling better and the grief can just steam roll you again without warning.

    I took about a week after my D&C to be selfish and just focus on me. This mainly involved a lot of laying in bed reading or watching TV but it really helped.

    Go easy and yourself xx
    Thank you. I have the rest of the week off but our 18 month old was in hospital and so has to be home rather than day care, so im having to look after her too 😢 will try and relax though, thanks for the advice ☺

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    How are you feeling crt22? It's really hard, but I hope you are feeling better.

    Sending you


 

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