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  1. #31
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    Just a reminder all, that this is a sensitive section you're posting in 'General depression and blues" and to that end, being mindful of your language and wording.

    Thanks.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Uniquey For This Useful Post:

    babybeeno1  (04-10-2016),Mama Mirabelle  (09-10-2016)

  3. #32
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    Your a strong women who has come so far since becoming a solo mum when DS was 3. I know your mother drives you insane but think about the positives in life.

    Your DS who is so smart at school he is a great cricket and baseball player

    Your dad

    Your uni achievements for your studies that despite everything you've gotten great grades

    It's hard for you and we know you want the easier option but think about those positives

    Finishing your degree and doing your honours would be amazing and then to help others like yourself who feel trapped in their bodies all the time and don't want to deal with life anymore

    Hugs to you. xo

  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reneeharry View Post
    No I would try and pull my $hit together and not abandon my child
    But in saying that, I'm not in your position and haven't been. I know how hard mental illness is to battle though. Sending you strength.
    She is not abandoning her child, she is absolutely trying to figure out what is the best thing for him. OP is unwell and can't just 'pull her $hit together', just as a person with any other medical condition can't when they are extremely unwell.

  5. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1CrazyMoose View Post
    I don't think she was being awful, just perhaps blunt. Some people are more direct than others. She stated she hadn't been in the OP shoes and that she was sending strength. Some don't beat around the bush, we all have different personalities. I don't see what she said harmful or unfair to the OP. The OP also asked a question on whether you would or not. The question was answered. If you ask questions, you don't always recurve the answer you imagine. That's the interesting part about different personalities. Be kind hubbers, she wasn't being cruel otherwise the rest of her post wouldn't have been supportive.
    Thank you no I wasn't being awful. Thank you for explaining it better than me.

    I'm not good with words and I think I'll just keep out of it. Sorry OP, it wasn't my intention to make you fee bad I was only answering your original question would you leave you child and then sent you some support...

  6. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reneeharry View Post
    No I would try and pull my $hit together and not abandon my child
    But in saying that, I'm not in your position and haven't been. I know how hard mental illness is to battle though. Sending you strength.
    What though when you have been trying for 7+ years to pull your $hit together when sometimes you can get to a point where you sort of function but due to things beyond your control (flashbacks/psychotic episodes etc) life falls apart regularly. Is it fair for the child to have to continually live through this, or living in poverty because even though you want to work & get jobs when you can, but when $hit happens employers can't hold your job until you are ok to work again. Or to be continually shipped from house to house when you are told (ie not given an option) that you need residential/inpatient care yet again. Or is it fairer to place them in a home where you know they will be looked after, where you know they will be wanted and where if the child wants you can have as much contact, both phone an in person, as the child wants?

    Not that it really matters now as I'm hoping that by the end of the week he will be placed with our preferred family.

  7. #36
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    I think that ultimately the best thing is for parents and kids to stay together...but there are exceptions to this.
    Your son needs to be somewhere he can have security, where he will know what he is coming home to each day, a home where there's someone who is capable of cooking dinner most nights etc.
    I don't think your son has that. It's out of your control, I get that...but I think that if there's somewhere suitable for your son to go to, then he should...as long as he can still have regular contact with you.

  8. #37
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    I agree with FullHouse. I think where possible, a child and parent should always try to be kept together. But it's a risk assessment. It can be upsetting and disruptive to move a child to another family. But if they are not getting what they need from their parent sometimes the risk is worse from the latter than the former.

    Pointless - the best case scenario here is you get well and your son stays with you. But I think you are the one thinking the clearest here. Your son's wellbeing is always foremost in your mind, that makes you a good mum, not a bad one. What *I* would be doing is placing him somewhere voluntarily, maybe with the family of a school friend? Have them assessed properly and where you have oodles of contact. Then work on you.

  9. #38
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    I so agree with what @delirium has said. Including around what *she* would do around having oodles of contact and then working on you.

    I only reiterate this because of your earlier comments about the implications for yourself of knowing your boy is being well looked after elsewhere. It sounds like you've done an incredible job of keeping your bond with your son even through all that you face... However you see yourself, your presence in this world is valuable, is important to him. No matter where he is and who he is with. You are important just as you are.

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  11. #39
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    Nothing useful from me - but some hugs for pointless. You are so strong and we can all see how much you love your son. Keep strong.


 

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