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  1. #1
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    Default WWYD - how can I help this mum?

    One of DS1's kindy mates' mother is heavily pregnant. She already has 3 boys, a 4 yr old and 2 yr old twin boys. I don't know her really really well but always chat etc and catch up at kids parties.

    She is really struggling. I know this because of chats we have had in the kindy hallway, seen her looking exhausted and my MIL was talking to her at playgroup today and said she broke down in tears, and mIL is very concerned for her.

    I believe it's a combination of exhaustion from caring for the (very active, somewhat defiant) twins all day and a difficult pregnancy - I don't know how she is still standing. She seems quite depressed and I worry she will most likely go further downhill once the new baby arrives.

    I don't want to intrude (from what I hear she is quite proud and won't ask for help) but I know she is struggling and I really want to help her in some way. I can't really take the boys as I have a 3 month old in addition to my 4 yr old and don't think I could cope with more right now - maybe her 4 yr old but not the twins!

    What things would be helpful and thoughtful in this instance?

  2. #2
    Mod-biscotti's Avatar
    Mod-biscotti is offline Administrator Administrator
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    How lovely of you

    What about -
    - a lasagne with a garlic bread, and bowl of salad or similiar

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    sunnygirl79  (08-06-2016)

  4. #3
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    How about a bunch of flowers and a card "from one busy Mum to another. ..you're doing an amazing job! Let's get together for coffee when you're free" type thing?

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  6. #4
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    Hi there, what a lovely idea, i think food is a great idea, also, is there a chance you could invite her over, and you could run after the kids so she can put her feet up for a few hours?

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    sunnygirl79  (08-06-2016)

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    Do you have a spare car seat to be able to help out with a kindy pick up once a week? Turn it into a bit of a play date for your 4 year olds after the kindy session? Yep she'll still have the twins but one less thing for her to have to rush out of the house for and it could build a base for her to feel comfortable for you to offer more help down the track if you are able. And she might be more likely to accept help in the guise of a play date rather than obvious help.

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    I'd always go food! As a mum of four now any meal help is a huge load off

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    A play date and tell her to go lay down on your bed for a nap while you play with the kids.

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    sunnygirl79  (08-06-2016)

  14. #8
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    kiwimum890 is offline It won't happen overnight, but it will happen!
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    A meal sounds like a great idea the idea of not having to cook would be a huge help...

    You are very thoughtful 🏻🏻🏻

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    Thanks guys unfortunately I am still struggling to do pick ups etc myself as my 13 week old is pretty unsettled screams the whole way there & back so I couldn't handle another (see I don't know how she does it!!). But I could definitely take the older one for an afternoon potentially.

    I think the meal idea is probably the easiest (and maybe a nice card/flowers will help cheer her up too). I had a close friend bring me frittata and a dozen muffins when I had DS2 and they have been very handy to have in the freezer, I might do the same for her.

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    littleriv  (08-06-2016)

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    Definitely food! I only have 2 kids, but when I was pregnant I really struggled with cooking dinner! When my second was born a neighbour knocked on our door one afternoon about 5pm with a freshly made pasta bake (just as my toddler was having a meltdown) it was one of the nicest things anyone has done

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