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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by SummerFun View Post
    Ok yep I understand what you mean then.

    Unfortunately we don't have a spare few hundred $ to spend on a second uniform
    Maybe your df could get away with a spare pair of tights and a spare shirt, so hopefully not that expensive, as jumpers and pinafores generally should be ok with a couple of wears.
    Just thinking of ways to make it easier on you is all. If not then maybe the SDs Mum can send some extra over if she wants to keep up with the 3 days too

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    Not at all hun. 1:1 time goes out the window all around,whether it be with dd or dsd. I think though, because your dd lives with you 7 night a week (I presume?) & dsd for 3 nights a fortnight, PP were just suggesting that that extra time at your home is valuable for dsd. It's nice for her to bond with the new baby,too. But I defintely also see your point about wanting to take dsd home sunday night - as I said previously, I would ask for the first 3 months for dh to take dsd home on the sunday. If it is working beautifully, dh might feel like that is better anyway.
    Ah ok, yes I understand. But the 1.5hrs on a Monday morning less wouldn't be time DSD is missing out on with time with the baby (in my opinion, because she would be getting ready for school). It just feels a little like me and my DD are expected to sacrifice but DF isn't in any way if you know what I mean?

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by SummerFun View Post
    Ah ok, yes I understand. But the 1.5hrs on a Monday morning less wouldn't be time DSD is missing out on with time with the baby (in my opinion, because she would be getting ready for school). It just feels a little like me and my DD are expected to sacrifice but DF isn't in any way if you know what I mean?
    Definitely, and it sounds like he will have to step up and help out more all around for the first few months, and of course make sacrifices for himself when the newborn is here. I find my DH doesnt 'get' it until the baby actually arrives, then he steps up because he HAS to, out of neccessity. Was he around dsd as a newborn, or will this be his first time with a newborn around him?

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  5. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by monroe78 View Post
    Maybe your df could get away with a spare pair of tights and a spare shirt, so hopefully not that expensive, as jumpers and pinafores generally should be ok with a couple of wears.
    Just thinking of ways to make it easier on you is all. If not then maybe the SDs Mum can send some extra over if she wants to keep up with the 3 days too
    Good idea, we would probably be bad mouthed for not washing her pinafore from her mum but not really anything I can do about that. Her mum wouldn't send spare clothes either. It's not a good line of negotiating.

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  7. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by PipersMummy View Post

    Edit to add- I feel for you, as a step parent were not supposed to ever feel exasperated by the situation because "we knew they had kids blah blah blah" and everyone who isn't a step parent usually has a giant opinion on it. I hope you come up with a solution, it doesn't sound like she would really be missing time with him anyway seeing as it's you who gets left to do most of the parenting duties with her, with the getting ready etc.
    YES! Apparently it's fine to be annoyed and frustrated with your own children but heaven forbid a step parent ever say anything bad about a step child!

  8. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by SummerFun View Post
    I'm quite strict on bed time, it's always 7pm and my DD always wakes up at 7.15, I'd rather not adjust her great sleeping patterns iykwim (might sound selfish to some but it's what works well for my DD)
    I've read through the thread and replies and the above confuses me.

    Currently both girls sleep in the same room - and your DF takes his daughter back to her mum every second Monday. So if they leave the house by 7am (which you stated in a previous post) how come this doesn't wake your daughter? But getting up to leave at that time for school will?

    I've not been a step parent BUT my DS1 has had a step mum. He's now 21 and will tell you point blank that the situation you are describing and wanting to reduce time (in any way) that your DSD has with her dad is NOT ok.

    Your DF needs to seriously step up and help absolutely but his daughter deserves all adults involved ensuring she gets as much time with her dad and new sibling as she can.

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  10. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    Definitely, and it sounds like he will have to step up and help out more all around for the first few months, and of course make sacrifices for himself when the newborn is here. I find my DH doesnt 'get' it until the baby actually arrives, then he steps up because he HAS to, out of neccessity. Was he around dsd as a newborn, or will this be his first time with a newborn around him?
    He was with DSDs mum until she was 2 so he was there for the newborn bit but yes sometimes he seems to forget the practicalities of parenting.

  11. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    I've read through the thread and replies and the above confuses me.

    Currently both girls sleep in the same room - and your DF takes his daughter back to her mum every second Monday. So if they leave the house by 7am (which you stated in a previous post) how come this doesn't wake your daughter? But getting up to leave at that time for school will?

    I've not been a step parent BUT my DS1 has had a step mum. He's now 21 and will tell you point blank that the situation you are describing and wanting to reduce time (in any way) that your DSD has with her dad is NOT ok.

    Your DF needs to seriously step up and help absolutely but his daughter deserves all adults involved ensuring she gets as much time with her dad and new sibling as she can.
    They don't HAVE to leave at a set time at the moment, DSD doesn't go to kindy or childcare on Mondays so he's just dropping her home at the moment, the only urgency is him getting to work currently. I think it's important to be on time for school

  12. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    I've read through the thread and replies and the above confuses me.

    Currently both girls sleep in the same room - and your DF takes his daughter back to her mum every second Monday. So if they leave the house by 7am (which you stated in a previous post) how come this doesn't wake your daughter? But getting up to leave at that time for school will?

    I've not been a step parent BUT my DS1 has had a step mum. He's now 21 and will tell you point blank that the situation you are describing and wanting to reduce time (in any way) that your DSD has with her dad is NOT ok.

    Your DF needs to seriously step up and help absolutely but his daughter deserves all adults involved ensuring she gets as much time with her dad and new sibling as she can.
    I agree.
    It's ok to have concerns and stress over situations that may or may not arise, but i believe it's unreasonable to reduce time the SD has with her Dad because of it.
    I understand how it can seem hard for some pps to understand that 1 less night does make a difference, but it does.
    It may "just be getting ready for school time" or a "trip in the car" to some adults, but to a child of, im assuming 4, would mean so much more.
    Especially when they have already lost the 7 nights a week every week of living with Dad.

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  14. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    YES! Apparently it's fine to be annoyed and frustrated with your own children but heaven forbid a step parent ever say anything bad about a step child!
    Yes definitely this! I have never copped so much flak (not just in this thread) for my parenting of my own child as I have step parenting. I love & care for my DD and do majority of the parenting when we have her yet I'm still the bad guy in others opinions and I'm always portrayed as 'trying to take her dad away' which I would NEVER want!


 
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