Closed Thread
Page 4 of 10 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 95
  1. #31
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    1,265
    Thanks
    468
    Thanked
    581
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I don't think you should give the Sunday night up, but I do think you should tell your dh to pull his finger out and start shouldering more of the load with her.

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Barnaby For This Useful Post:

    binnielici  (08-06-2016),monroe78  (08-06-2016),VicPark  (08-06-2016)

  3. #32
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    151
    Thanks
    126
    Thanked
    72
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by SummerFun View Post
    If you read my original post my first question was asking what other people's access arrangements were.. I'm not singling you out by asking your situation, I asked it from the start before you replied.

    I'm not arguing with you because I don't want to hear your opinion, I simply stated that your post came across to me differently than what you may have intended.
    You have singled me out as you only asked me.

  4. #33
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,879
    Thanks
    76
    Thanked
    631
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    But you don't really get alone time with kids once you have more than 1. I have 4 kids and work and my kids would be lucky to get 1 x 1 time with me once a week. I try but it's hard when they are young and need you.

    I have one daughter (grade 2) who needs help every morning. It's not great but it is what it is.

    I'm trying to be delicate in how I say this but your gripe is with your husband not his daughter. She's a child navigating her world with separated parents and he's a grown up.
    I didn't intend my original post to sound like I had a gripe or issues with my DSD, I was genuinely wanting to know what others in similar situations do and what the best thing is for all involved. I'm not having a go at you btw, I just didn't want my OP to be misinterpreted.

    Yes DF actively helping would help with the situation but I don't know how to make that happen. He would just constantly drop DSD to school late if they weren't ready to leave on time which in my eyes is not ok. Yes I could scream & yell at him about it but I just don't think that will fix the problem.

  5. #34
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,879
    Thanks
    76
    Thanked
    631
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by monroe78 View Post
    You have singled me out as you only asked me.
    Well I suppose you feeling like I singled you out is equal to how I feel about your harsh post directed at how I step parent. Maybe I didn't mean it in the way you took it, maybe you didn't mean it in the way I took it.

  6. #35
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,879
    Thanks
    76
    Thanked
    631
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I feel my post is getting off topic. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to minimise the impact these Monday school mornings will have on my DD and newborn or not? I have put details in a previous comment ^^^^

  7. #36
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    1,374
    Thanks
    774
    Thanked
    1,771
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think you need to tell DH that if HE wants the sunday night with his daughter, it is HIS responsibility to get her up, ready for school, & out the house. Heck, he can help with lunches and washing uniforms, too. Perhaps he could spend some special time with all 3 kids (newborn included) - either a long bath time, or stories in their bedroom, etc - for an hour on sunday nights so you can get a few things ready? I would just let him get her ready in the mornings. If she isnt ready, he will be late. He will learn soon enough to shape up, or he will suffer lateness for it. Having a newborn is tough, & it can be really stressful working out how it will all work out, especially with older kids. Perhaps if you are struggling in those early weeks, you could ask for him to drop her home sundays for the first 3 months of the babies life? Thats only 6 times he will miss out on those sunday nights. When the baby has passed those first few months, things always feel easier .

  8. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to cheeeeesecake For This Useful Post:

    Bongley  (08-06-2016),ChatlotteA  (08-06-2016),Excited1  (08-06-2016),SuperGranny  (09-06-2016)

  9. #37
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,003
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by SummerFun View Post
    I didn't intend my original post to sound like I had a gripe or issues with my DSD, I was genuinely wanting to know what others in similar situations do and what the best thing is for all involved. I'm not having a go at you btw, I just didn't want my OP to be misinterpreted.

    Yes DF actively helping would help with the situation but I don't know how to make that happen. He would just constantly drop DSD to school late if they weren't ready to leave on time which in my eyes is not ok. Yes I could scream & yell at him about it but I just don't think that will fix the problem.
    I didn't take it that way.

    As for what to do, honestly in so many ways it's organic. I look back on when my eldest started school and so much was trial and error. You can't do it all with a newborn as well. Is your DH likely to sit back and let you shoulder the burden or would he step in?

    You should probably have an honest talk to him. But I find with my husband we need to be in the thick of it before he gets what needs to be done. As much as you plan these things some people just can't or won't adjust their ways until it's all falling apart around them and they have to.

    I do feel for you.

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    binnielici  (08-06-2016),Excited1  (08-06-2016)

  11. #38
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    1,374
    Thanks
    774
    Thanked
    1,771
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by SummerFun View Post
    I feel my post is getting off topic. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to minimise the impact these Monday school mornings will have on my DD and newborn or not? I have put details in a previous comment ^^^^
    I cant find the comment,but I think you said they would be up at 6am? My kids are early risers, often up by 6.30, so we just do 6.30pm bedtime. Can you shift bedtime a bit earlier those days if she is usually in bed late? The newborn will adjust to anything, my 3rd baby was up & shipped around all over the place because she had to be I just made sure she had opportunity to sleep in the capsule or baby carrier or at home when we were home (which wasnt often!) I think it would be your school child who might find it difficult, but she would adjust I think. Perhaps that monday could be an easy night - dinner in front of the TV or something & early to bed.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to cheeeeesecake For This Useful Post:

    Bongley  (08-06-2016)

  13. #39
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    77
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked
    38
    Reviews
    0
    I don't think it will affect your newborn as such, he or she will have young kids in the house from day one. Unless you are going to make your combined children to be quite from day dot the new born will sleep through the noise or wake up for a feed and go back to sleep.
    It's the way it goes when you have more than one child and a new born in the house.
    I am understanding of your situation and think it will be hard on your dsd to be leaving the house that early if your df does want to keep her for that long however now I think about it my kids have been in before school care from that time since the 2nd week of prep. So it can be done and they get use to it.

    With school clothes - if you can not get them washed and dried in time on the weekend can you just buy a extra set of school clothes to keep on that weekend? That way you always have a set at your house? It won't cost you that much to get one shirt and pants?

    Time management - in the morning your daughter will wake up early, she can watch tv for a extra hour. Obviously the girls get along? They might like being able to get ready together.

    Losing time with your daughter - I actually find that a bit upsetting that you see it that way. You have her all during the week by herself, you dad is part of your family. You have a newborn on the way sorry you won't get one on one time for a while. Make a day during the week your one on one time. What about the other weekend the step daughter is at her mums? Can you make that one on one time?

    I see both sides of this - I totally understand your side of the extra person and stress. But in realty one more doesn't make that much of a issue. Your making a lunch anyway what's one more? It takes 2 more seconds.
    What does you df do now in the mornings? Could having all her stuff like school clothes shoes socks bag ready in the lounge room on Sunday night work out easier? So she sees it and knows she has to get dressed?

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to 2 girls 1 boy For This Useful Post:

    gingermillie  (08-06-2016),Little Miss Sunshine  (08-06-2016),VicPark  (08-06-2016)

  15. #40
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,216
    Thanks
    961
    Thanked
    477
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Could you purchase another uniform for her to wear on the Monday and then you keep the one she's worn on Friday and have the whole fortnight to wash it ready to swap around the following fortnight? She'll come on Friday with her lunchbox and everything she needs so use those and pack while you're packing your own daughter's lunch? Your DF needs to step up and help with the care of his own daughter! I'm assuming your daughter is at school? Get him to mirror you while you're organising your daughter, ie I'm just brushing X's hair so you can brush Y's teeth then we'll swap and you can brush Y's hair while I'm doing X's teeth etc.


 
Closed Thread
Page 4 of 10 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. ASD and starting school
    By Ahalfdozen in forum Parents of Children with Special Needs
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 06-05-2016, 15:57
  2. Starting big school next year
    By witherwings in forum Preschools and Schools
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 02-03-2016, 14:52
  3. Child support and step children
    By Threekids in forum Step-parents / Blended families
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 25-08-2015, 23:00

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Mother and Baby Shop
Save $$$ during our Christmas Sale Mother and Baby Shop
Great prices on Schoenhut kids pianos, toys, baby clothing as well as big brands like Pigeon, NUK, Cherub Baby and many more. Sale starts on 1 November 2016 and ends on the 27 December 2016. Hurry! Place your order today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Sarah Tooke Childbirth & Parenting Education
Providing private, personalised antenatal childbirth & parenting education to expectant parents in the comfort of their own home. Sessions are flexible, including everything that hospital based programs cover. Click to find out more!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!