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    Default Support After Ectopic Pregnancy

    Hi Ladies, I wanted to create a space here where women can share their experiences and thoughts after ectopic pregnancy. I couldn't find a space on BH specifically for ectopic pregnancy.

    I had an ectopic pregnancy and my left fallopian tube removed on 2nd June. I found out 3 days earlier that I was pregnant. It was devastating to find out I was pregnant, as I had been bleeding heavily and in a great deal of pain. I knew in the one instant that I was pregnant, and in the next that I was losing my much wanted baby.

    It was a shock to fall naturally as we had earlier endured more than 2 years of infertility, and subsequent rounds of IVF. The light of my life is my beautiful daughter, born in 2014. She brings so much joy. I have always wanted her to have a sibling. So much so that it hurts.

    Love and hugs to anyone that has suffered through an ectopic pregnancy. I am heart broken and devastated. I am so scared of never again being able to feel the happiness of carrying a healthy pregnancy. But I do carry hope in my heart. I have booked in an appointment with my Fertility Specialist to talk about what next. This appointment is in mid June.

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    ~Marigold~  (07-06-2016)

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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    What a lovely idea.
    I found a couple of threads here helpful after my ectopic in December; it's comforting to know that you're not alone and sharing experiences and emotions can help. @Ever1013 you're still in the raw stages and coming to terms takes time. The scary thing with ectopic is how quickly it happens and also the surgery (for those who underwent it) was absolutely terrifying for me (and I'm sure you, too). It's a massive emotional ordeal, you're actually in a life or death situation as a burst tube can prove deadly within itself, then there's the surgery, the physical side /healing... all of which I found terribly confronting. I'll never forget being wheeled away after kissing my kids goodbye that day 😢
    One moment you're getting used to the idea of having a baby, the next it's all just ripped away.
    Good news is, it's not the end in regards to your fertility 😃 I'm not currently trying to conceive but just the thought of having a future pregnancy in the uterus where it should be makes me overwhelmingly happy! Because I'll never forget the sonographer's words when doing my ultrasound trying to figure out the source of my pain... He said "there's no pregnancy in the uterus". And I replied "well, where is it then?!" And he just looked back at me solemnly 😞
    Anyway.... I hope you and others can find some support here xx

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    Ever1013  (07-06-2016)

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    Default Ectopic pregnancy

    Hi all. Hopefully someone has been thru the same or similar thing.. well actually i hope you haven't as its horrible but hope someone understands.
    My hubby and i started trying for a baby 5 yrs ago by ivf. First round and ended up with the ectopic pregnancy which ended up in a disaster. I was in extreme pain for weeks and ended up having to have surgery to remove the ectopic as well as my left tube needless to say.. it was a horrible experience that traumatised me for life i think. Anyway months of recovery we have decided to try again and it was another ectopic this time however i just had needle to bring on the period and that was that.
    Three ivf attemps later and no pregnancy since. We had 2 yr break since the last ond and i have just done two rounds of iui which of course ended up in nothing. Im very upset and scared to try anything again. I have totally lost hope that it will ever work and i resent that ivf clinic to the point that i just dont want to go to there ever again. Those fake nurses annoy the hell out of me and it seems to be just a business for them. Pay up for nothing all the time. We are desperate for a baby and just dont know what to do. Wish i could just look forward and hope that it will be ok and one day but i am living in the past and im full of resentment. Anyone please help. How do i go forward without feeling like this and believing that it will not fail before i even start. Thank you

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ella jane View Post
    Hi all. Hopefully someone has been thru the same or similar thing.. well actually i hope you haven't as its horrible but hope someone understands.
    My hubby and i started trying for a baby 5 yrs ago by ivf. First round and ended up with the ectopic pregnancy which ended up in a disaster. I was in extreme pain for weeks and ended up having to have surgery to remove the ectopic as well as my left tube needless to say.. it was a horrible experience that traumatised me for life i think. Anyway months of recovery we have decided to try again and it was another ectopic this time however i just had needle to bring on the period and that was that.
    Three ivf attemps later and no pregnancy since. We had 2 yr break since the last ond and i have just done two rounds of iui which of course ended up in nothing. Im very upset and scared to try anything again. I have totally lost hope that it will ever work and i resent that ivf clinic to the point that i just dont want to go to there ever again. Those fake nurses annoy the hell out of me and it seems to be just a business for them. Pay up for nothing all the time. We are desperate for a baby and just dont know what to do. Wish i could just look forward and hope that it will be ok and one day but i am living in the past and im full of resentment. Anyone please help. How do i go forward without feeling like this and believing that it will not fail before i even start. Thank you
    Hi @Ella jane
    So sorry to hear that, I think I would just die inside having to go through the trauma of another ectopic. It was the worst experience of my life and happened at a very fragile and horrible time in my life, too (had just separated after being with him for almost 18 years) and looking back I honestly do not know how I dealt with it. But you do what you have to do, your story shows that. I have no experience with IVF but can only imagine the lengths you go to to finally get your positive result, only to have it all ripped away.
    Your post here is just filled with grief and anger, and rightfully so. Have you considered counselling?
    There are IVF and TTC sections on this forum, maybe you could benefit from joining in there as well.
    Huge hugs x

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    Hi Ella Jane,

    I am so sorry to hear of your losses. It is absolutely heartbreaking to lose a pregnancy and it feels as though nothing can help you to feel better. I have had two rounds of IVF and an unsuccessful frozen embryo transfer. The process is indeed fraught with anxiety, hope and then often disappointment.

    Sending you huge hugs and kind thoughts. I hope that you are surrounded by loving friends and family at this very tough time.

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    Default Ectopic pregnancy

    Thank you ladies. Yes it is not much fun and nonone really understands unless they have been thru it. I dont even bother talking to anyone but my poor hubby. I feel so bad that i have let him down too. He of course denys that and is so very supportive but that doesn't mean i feel any less guilty. 😢 i habe been to a shrink about it few yrs ago which did help but the problem doesnt go away.

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    Default Ectopic pregnancy

    Just want to feel confident and positive about trying ivf again but i just get angry and scared of what sort of dramas will happen this time around

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    Hugs Ella Jane, I understand your hesitation at doing more IVF. It can be such a heartwrenching process. Wishing you hope and happiness. Only you will know when it is the right time to try again.


 

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