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  1. #1
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    Default 2yr old, overnight with grandparents

    DH and I both need to attend a conference for work in a few months time, DS will be 2.25 years old.
    I'm thinking we just go for one night and leave DS to have his first overnight stay with our very lovely ILs. (Normally I would use DS as an excuse to get out of these kind of events but this is one that DH and I both need to be at for future job prospects!)
    So my questions: Would it be better for MIL to come and stay at our house, or for DS to go over there?
    I'm not sure if DS will be more comfortable in his own home, or be more confused about the fact that we aren't there. He's never slept the night at MIL's but often spends the day there without us and seems perfectly happy doing that.

    Any other suggestions or advice?
    Extra factors:
    We cosleep, but will hopefully have weaned by then (slowly working on that!).
    The conference is a two hour train ride away.
    We'd drop him at daycare on the morning of day 1 and be back to pick him up from daycare on day 2.

  2. #2
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    I don't think you can go wrong either way - the main thing is that you trust your MIL/IL's with your DS's care (which you clearly do).

    The advantage of your MIL coming to your house is that you don't have to pack a bag and that he'll be surrounded by all his home comforts.

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    deku  (06-06-2016)

  4. #3
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    Does your DS ever ask to stay over at his grandparents after spending the day there? My DD used to always cry that she wanted to stay with Grandma so when she was about 2 or maybe earlier we allowed her to stay one night and she loved it.

    Maybe you could try letting him have a sleepover before you go away, that way if he doesn't like it you could pick him up. It could be a good trial run.

    If it were me I'd have me child go to the grandparents house; my DD would get upset being at home and me and DH not being there, but at Grandma's house she doesn't expect me to be there so she's fine.

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    deku  (06-06-2016)

  6. #4
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    I would get him to have sleepovers every few weeks now, so you have time to get him comfortable with it and tweak anything if need be.

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    babybeeno1  (06-06-2016),deku  (06-06-2016),gingermillie  (06-06-2016),Ngaiz  (06-06-2016),SuperGranny  (06-06-2016),Wise Enough  (06-06-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mama Mirabelle View Post
    Does your DS ever ask to stay over at his grandparents after spending the day there?
    Unfortunately he doesn't really talk yet so isn't able to express his thoughts on the matter.

    I hadn't considered doing a test sleepover beforehand, that could work! DH and I could actually have a date night!!

  9. #6
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    It really depends on your son. If you think he would be ok with an overnight stay at his grandparents then have him stay there, but if you think he would be more comfortable at home then keep him there and hsve the inlaws come to yours. If they came to your place at least you wouldn't need to pack and your son would be in his familiar environment.

    My two year hasn't had any overnight stays anywhere yet but I know his personality he'd be ok. The only downside is a lot of the time we co-sleep and I know family and inlaws would use controlled crying which I'm against. My inlaws are pretty good when they babysit though, kids are in bed around 10/11 which is normal for us, but someone like my sister for example would force them in bed at 8!
    So yeah, it really does depend on things. How your son feels, also what you're comfortable with too.

    Best of luck

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    deku  (06-06-2016)

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    We left our DS1 with grandparents for a week when he was 2.5 while we went overseas. He was fine, but he had never co slept and was very good at sleeping anywhere by the time he was 2. Can you do a trial run, a few hours one night (ie go to a movie pick him up after)?

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    deku  (06-06-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    My two year hasn't had any overnight stays anywhere yet but I know his personality he'd be ok. The only downside is a lot of the time we co-sleep and I know family and inlaws would use controlled crying which I'm against. My inlaws are pretty good when they babysit though, kids are in bed around 10/11 which is normal for us, but someone like my sister for example would force them in bed at 8!
    I'm actually pretty lucky that my MIL's MIL was a bit on the crazy, overbearing side, so my ILs learnt what not to do and are super respectful of our parenting!

  14. #9
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    I had a similar situation a couple of weeks ago with dd who is just shy of 2. I had to attend a 3 day conference though and decided it was too much to ask for her to be without her mum for that long. I ended up taking my mum and dd with me. Mum looked after dd during the day and then she still had me there at night. It worked really well if you want a third option to consider.

    In your situation, I'd probably lean towards having your son stay at his grandma's. That way he's not in an environment where he's expecting to have his parents there.

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    deku  (06-06-2016)

  16. #10
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    I had DS when DD was 3 weeks shy of 2. My ILs looked after her while I was in hospy including 2 (or was it 3) nights as DH stayed in with me. This was the first time DD had spent a night of more without either DH or I. As we knew this was going to be the set up when I went in to have DS we just talked about it all the time in the lead up to my due date. Grandma and poppy coming to stay and look after DD was part of the wider 'mummy is having a baby' narrative.

    We had them stay at out place as they live a few hours away, but I think that works out better anyway as the child is in their familiar surrounds and every little thing they could possibly need is on hand.

    DD has a great relationship with my ILs and predictably everything went absolutely fine. She had a ball and didn't appear to miss DH or I for a second. DD would come evey day to visit me and her new brother in hospital and then would happily toddle out with her grandparents when it was time to go!

    As for co-sleeping, grandparents are resourceful. They've been there and done it all before. I am sure they will be able to figure out something if need be so your DS is content for the night.

    Kids are generally so adaptable, so like PPs have stated, maybe do some trial runs so you feel comfortable, but definitely go for it!

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    deku  (06-06-2016)


 

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