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  1. #1
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    Default Hubby & I thinking differently...

    Good morning

    I am finally off the pill - June was supposed to be a month to see what my natural cycle does and TTC as of July. My husband knows that I'm doing a number of things to track ovulation and I asked him how much detail he wanted to know and he said tell him when I'm ovulated but doesn't want any details about my CM etc.

    I've been testing my temperature and recording it in an app. He's a pharmacist and bought me a saliva OPK from him work which was thoughtful plus I bought pre-seed lube. The other night I asked if he wanted to see the app I'm using (he loves technology stuff) and he said no. Then he said I'm thinking about it too much and that we should just relax, dtd and see what happens.

    I am definitely not in that frame of mind - due to our age, 30s and having already delayed TTC twice! I am ready!! I also wanted to be 'careful' in June as I have a few social functions planned and next month we are going to Vietnam so I didn't want to be in the early stages of pregnancy over there. I wasn't expecting him to be as excited as me with tracking ovulation etc but I did think we'd be more on the same page with the journey...but due to his indifference, I'm starting to think I'll be doing all of my tracking and recording in private and then I initiate dtd at the right time...is this a common experience for women TTC?

    Sorry, I tried hard to not babble, sorry for the long post!

  2. #2
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    Some men can feel under pressure when you are throwing all this information at them. Some men think getting pregnant involves s.ex at that's about as much as they think about it. You haven't actually started to TTC so maybe for the first few months your husband is right, just relax and have fun with it. My DH wouldn't be interested in an app that tracks my ovulation or anything of that sort and he works in I.T.
    I understand that you are in your 30s and eager to get pregnant but it all seems very clinical to me. Personally I think you are over thinking it, you don't know that it will be difficult for you to fall pregnant. Relax a bit and have fun with it.

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    Yogis Mumma  (05-06-2016)

  4. #3
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    Everyone is different when you start TTC.

    I am female and honestly temping, tracking cycle etc etc was just a bit much! So I can understand your DH not necessarily wanting to see and know everything. It is overwhelming.

    It's not like he is 100% into wanting to have a baby. He is probably just processing it and just wants to relax and enjoy it.

    Good luck!

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    Yogis Mumma  (05-06-2016)

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    If temping and tracking ovulation are things you feel you want to do, go for it, but o think you're better off not involving him in that process. If you read enough on here, some men can't perform when their wives put too much pressure on them

    I took my temp and put it in the app, but I never involved DH in that. He would occasionally ask if my temp was good, but that was it. I also initiated s.x at the correct times, without telling him I was ovulating (I also initiated at other times of the month)

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    Thanks ladies!!! Feeling much better - and probably what I needed to hear I definitely do not want my hubby feel pressured and I can see that can easily happen

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    Sometimes best to keep the crazy TTC details to yourself and someone close to you like your mum or girlfriend and let hubby chill out about it. I agree with the others, hubby doesn't probably want or need the added 'pressure'. Good luck

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    Even my female partner has no interest, not even when she was TTC. I would just keep it to yourself and not overwhelm him with it until/if it becomes necessary. Good luck

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    We ttc for 6 years altogether including 4 rounds of ivf. Dh wasn't interested (definitely invested though) in any details. He just went with the flow and did as was told ;-)

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    You can always join a TTC group on here. It gives you an outlet and support at the same time.

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    I don't see it as indifference.

    My H didn't want anything to do with any of that charting stuff when we were going to start TTC. And I don't blame him. It's clinical, stressful and (to me) gross.


 

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