Hello @Tahli thank you for thinking of me and a big hi to everyone who knew me when I was posting regularly, and to the newbies who I haven't really engaged with this year. Congrats @Lastchance75 that's a wonderful BFP!
Just a little update from me for those who have been on the journey for a while & know my history. In April I had a potential chem that really rocked me and I haven't been able to face posting here like I used to. I still follow on with the thread a little, so am sending good wishes and babydust on from afar..
In May I got up the guts to do one last OE cycle with my new FS. I had four follies to start with that ended up dying off and I ended up with only one, so cancelled EPU. I also got very, very sick again and I'm pretty sure it is the trigger that I react badly to - so never again. I spent nearly two weeks bedridden, with very severe side effects, so at least now I know which drug is the culprit and can avoid it in the future. Am still trying to lose the 6kg I put on in a week and get over the fatigue I've been left with - my body does not like the trigger!
Following that my potential donor who I've been in talks with since August last year came home from overseas and we organised for her and her husband and myself and my husband to meet up to discuss DE and look towards an August cycle. So last Friday we drove the three hours, checked into a little love nest for the weekend, and then nervously were driving to the meeting on Saturday morning when she text messaged me and pulled the pin. Cancelled our meeting and said that DE didn't fit in her plan now that she's back in Australia and has new projects underway. Needless to say that was a huge kick in the guts and really rocked me as she had offered several times, knew what was involved, and was a friend - so the way she cancelled was particularly cruel.
Them when we got home from the weekend I POAS as AF was due and got a squinter. Then I got squinters that slightly darkened for the next 24 hours before fading out. This seems to be happening every second month - so whether it is genuine chems, false positives, or some other hormonal surge that is driving some latent hCG just before AF, I'm not sure. This is how it turned out - yes I am a POAS wh0re and spend way too much money on pee sticks!
8dpo - BFN
9dpo - BFN
10dpo - BFN
11dpo - BFN
12dpo - didn't test
13dpo - squinter
14dpo - FMU squinter, mid-morn squinter, p.m. darker squinter (below)
15dpo -FMU barely there squinter, p.m. BFN
16dpo - BFN
17dpo - BFN
As the squinters came out of three different packets I don't think it was a bad batch, and also because of all the stark white BFNs around that 24 hours of squinters I do tend to think that it's not a high resting hCG (unless I get a surge prior to AF) and that maybe something is trying to happen but likely with my very old eggs it's just not working. And on these months when this happens AF is always a few days late, which again makes me think it's a chem. But whether it's worth investigating, I'm not sure. I will have some investigations prior to transfering a DE, so I might just leave it for then. My lining is always really good, so it's not that, but maybe something else going on in there that I need to look into for DE anyway. If anyone has any thoughts they would be welcome
Anyway, I've drawn the line under OE so now our options are Aussie donor, or SA or Hawaii. I haven't discussed it with DH yet as it's all a bit raw after last weekend, and we can't get away now until October, so we've got a little while up our sleeve to decide.
So that's it from me - I will check in from time to time. Good luck everyone - you are all warrior women, that's for sure