+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 41
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    125
    Thanks
    186
    Thanked
    53
    Reviews
    0
    babybeeno1 - What a journey! And a difficult journey, at that!

    I often wonder - and I could be wrong here - whether the normalisation of masturbation & internet porn (because, apparently, every guy has gone there and it should just be accepted as part of life) has contributed to guys struggling in this area...? Surely if this IS true, then the impact on actual relationships & real sex should be made more public. I dunno... But lately I've been mulling that over.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,141
    Thanks
    447
    Thanked
    489
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Aloria View Post
    CcegG - I've not really found other threads about ED. Stress & sleep deprivation - that sounds like our journey!
    I've heard that it's not a good idea to save it up for ovulation as the sperm isn't as 'fresh' - but if that's all that you have (we do it once in the month - on the OPK positive day), then that's what you've got to do. We're going to try doing it 3 times next cycle - but there's no guarantees that he'll finish on all 3 occasions... And it really cuts his confidence on the days he doesn't get there. Not sure if it will work for us or against us next cycle, but that's our plan.
    You are correct about the freshness about the sperm. Our IVF/FS says so to speak to need to "take one out" between 1-5 days for optimum freshness and quality but when sperm are produced from their beginning to end cycle it's months

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to babybeeno1 For This Useful Post:

    CcegG  (01-07-2016)

  4. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,141
    Thanks
    447
    Thanked
    489
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Aloria View Post
    babybeeno1 - What a journey! And a difficult journey, at that!

    I often wonder - and I could be wrong here - whether the normalisation of masturbation & internet porn (because, apparently, every guy has gone there and it should just be accepted as part of life) has contributed to guys struggling in this area...? Surely if this IS true, then the impact on actual relationships & real sex should be made more public. I dunno... But lately I've been mulling that over.
    He's been like this his entire life. There are definitely other guys out there with this issue as I've read things on other forum. He has admitted has watched porn In his single days. I was the first real relationship he has ever had as all the girls he used to meet would hold it against him with his issues that he had. I saw it as a hurdle that we could both work together on which we have and it has gotten better. His aim is to not finish unless we absolutely had to aswell. I'm 6yrs older and our fertility issues where on both our sides.

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    215
    Thanks
    538
    Thanked
    149
    Reviews
    0
    @babybeeno1 so exciting, congratulations!
    @Aloria I know they say you're supposed to keep the supply "regular" right? But what does that really mean? Like if their bodies aren't meant to finish that frequently maybe a couple times/month is OK?

    So is it supposed to be maximum 5 days between ejaculations for optimal baby making sperm?
    This month we were holding out for O and DTD last night as soon as I got a peak OPK. I think it had been at least 2 weeks.
    Last edited by CcegG; 01-07-2016 at 21:42.

  6. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Adelaide, SA
    Posts
    429
    Thanks
    434
    Thanked
    385
    Reviews
    0
    I noticed it came up in my TTC thread a few times. It haven't heard of it being called ED. What does that stand for? My girlfriends and I have discussed it. It's pretty common. My DH has always been really hard to um... finish off. We had to find work arounds during out TTC journey. It feels like we have to pop the champagne and celebrate after he gets there. It does take the fun out of it for me though. For him it's all in his brain. Proper performance anxiety. I have to be so acutely aware what is happening and sometimes it just trial and error if we get there. That said, we were managing about 7 'productive sessions' when we conceived. I had all the tips and tricks

  7. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    215
    Thanks
    538
    Thanked
    149
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by WinterJade View Post
    Proper performance anxiety. I have to be so acutely aware what is happening and sometimes it just trial and error if we get there. That said, we were managing about 7 'productive sessions' when we conceived. I had all the tips and tricks
    I hear you... please share, I know it's a little TMI with this topic but. It's really difficult to know what to do to encourage him/ bring it up without making it worse.
    The more I stress about it, the more self conscious he gets, the more in his head he is, the more miserable the 3 days around O are...

  8. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Adelaide, SA
    Posts
    429
    Thanks
    434
    Thanked
    385
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by CcegG View Post
    I hear you... please share, I know it's a little TMI with this topic but. It's really difficult to know what to do to encourage him/ bring it up without making it worse.
    The more I stress about it, the more self conscious he gets, the more in his head he is, the more miserable the 3 days around O are...
    I don't think it's that it's TMI. More so, we love our men and wouldn't want to put something so personal about them out there or make them feel inadequate.

    My DH is amazing and totally does it for me. So I always make sure that no matter how I am feeling (frustrated etc) I make sure that I enjoy every time. Easier said than done but luckily things are easy for me to get into. DH jokes that it takes me 5 minutes lol Lots of practice haha I think by you enjoying yourself, it takes the pressure off. I try not to focus on him too much in a obvious way (but of course I am!) Sometimes, something I say can turn things one way or another. So i know what I can say and what I can't. Every man has things that set them off (in a good way). When TTC, we watched porn (maybe 1/3 times - usually if were going the third day in a row). That was the ultimate way to take the pressure off us both. We don't ever watch it normally, it was guaranteed to work every time. He was not a big watcher of porn, and once he's going he forgets it's on. It doesn't offend me at all so I am lucky there. Again , focus off him. We haven't watched it since TTC. Lastly, someone else mentioned using their hand until the very end, that was last resort. And if it doesn't work, just cuddle them and tell them it doesn't matter and we will try again the next day.

    I told my bestie all this and she said the porn thing worked for them (also had performance anxiety issues). She's the biggest prude haha! But now she is pregnant too!

    I also never told him the most critical day, we would try around 10 times over the month, maybe hit 7. I thought we missed O day but I am pregnant yay!

    Good luck!

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to WinterJade For This Useful Post:

    CcegG  (03-07-2016)

  10. #18
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    333
    Thanks
    742
    Thanked
    523
    Reviews
    0

    Default Am I alone here?

    Yes, my DP gets anxious & can't finish too, occasionally.
    I stopped letting him know when my window was, & when was a critical 'O' day, and now we DTD all month round so he never really knows. Last month we started SMEP (had to pause due to a back injury on my part) but we agreed to keep going each time til he would "deposit". Just gotta find what works I guess.
    It's all in my DP's head. I had to help him stop over thinking and over stressing... And I had to learn to not over-control the situation and just enjoy it all!

  11. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    215
    Thanks
    538
    Thanked
    149
    Reviews
    0
    @WinterJade thank you so much!
    Yeah it's easy for me to finish so I do just make sure it's enjoyable. We rarely watch porn together, but we both enjoy it, and I think that's a really great idea! I also like that you don't tell him when O is. I think I will try all of these things! Thank you!

  12. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    215
    Thanks
    538
    Thanked
    149
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by MUG81 View Post
    And I had to learn to not over-control the situation and just enjoy it all!
    Haha, that's me too, exactly!
    I think it's a really good point that the pressure won't be on him so much if he doesn't know you're secretly initiating more often bc of O. I should just keep the stress to myself and not project on him!


 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pebblebee
Parents spend hours looking for things they need NOW. The keys, the remote, darling daughter's treasured teddy. Stop wasting precious time looking & start finding with Bub Hub reviewed Pebblebee Smart Tag. Simply attach a Pebblebee and find it fast.
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
ProSwim
ProSwim runs learn to swim classes for babies, children and adults. Our indoor centre in Plympton Park has lessons all year round, including school holidays. We also offer outdoor programs during the summer months (Oct-Mar) at Rostrevor college.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!