I admit I was taken back by your posts. As a woman that hasn't been through IVF but has been through HsG's, laporoscopies let me tell you it isn't pleasant on any level and the notion that it may be viewed as sexual made me cringe.
But I agree with BlondeinBrisvegas. I think you have feelings of guilt over it being male factor and feel emasculated. As a women who had male factor (my DH has awful motility) firstly I do understand - my DH had similar feelings. That he wasn't a man, that he was a failure. He didn't however have these feelings of jealousy over procedures. Second, as a woman who went through a fair bit emotionally and physically bc of male factor.... I'm not angry/upset at my husband. I never saw him in a negative light. yes all the procedures sucked terribly. But it wasn't his fault. Nor is it yours.
I think you have some issues you seriously need to sort through. For you and your wife. She is going through enough right now and you most certainly are being irrational. She needs your support. But... I do feel some empathy for you. Men tend to force complex emotions back in favour of more primitive, 'masculine' emotions like anger and jealousy.