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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by TCK View Post
    Thank you.

    That's really helpful and I quite agree with you.

    Another person here said a very similar thing. I had not realised this point of view. I was just seeing any male involved as the enemy.

    Now that's it's been pointed out it shifts everything and gives reason to what I'm feeling.

    I don't know how I might deal with these things in the future, but believing I know what the problem is makes it so much easier to deal with.

    I intend to approach the clinic about their counselling services.

    Thanks again :-)
    Counselling will be a good start. It should help you understand your thoughts feelings, and how to process it.

    Good luck with your journey

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to twinklify For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (29-05-2016),mrswhitehouse  (29-05-2016),TCK  (29-05-2016)

  3. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamasupial View Post
    You cannot create an account that is the same as one that already exists. So all of the previous posts from years ago are from this current account.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mamasupial View Post
    No... It is your current account, you have simply changed your user name. At the top of the screen it has your user name.

    I have previously changed my user name and you can still view my old posts from my old user name.
    There is no misinterpretation here Mamsupial.

    You are clearly telling me that I have changed my username.

    You are clearly telling me that all the previous posts that I have denied, are actually mine.

  4. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    Counselling will be a good start. It should help you understand your thoughts feelings, and how to process it.

    Good luck with your journey
    What this poster says is true😊

    Yes...Good Luck with your journey😊

    Oh...and you were asking earlier what other ways you could refer to your wife/partner??

    You could refer to her as DW...Darling Wife or DP Darling Partner when you're writing posts on the forum if you want to😊
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 29-05-2016 at 13:26.

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  6. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamasupial View Post
    I was simply showing you what everyone else was seeing and talking about. I was not insinuating anything. Simply telling you how the account thing seemed to have happened as clearly I was unaware you have IT experience. You have clearly misinterpreted me as I don't make accusations against posters in Bubhub. I don't appreciate you being rude because I showed you what others were talking about.
    I think you need to leave this issue to Bubhub. If you have a problem report it. I agree it's odd but I think it's a stuff up not of the OP's creation.

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  8. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeinBrisvegas View Post
    What this poster says is true

    Yes...Good Luck with your journey

    Oh...and you were asking earlier what other ways you could refer to your wife/parter??

    You could refer to her as DW...Darling Wife or DP Darling Partner when you're writing posts on the forum if you want to
    Thank you for your help.

    Thank you for the acronyms!

    I can see how I might come across as possessive with the "my Lady" tag.

    I assure you all, that is not the case and in fact could not be further from the truth.

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    BlondeinBrisvegas  (29-05-2016)

  10. #66
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    I haven't gone through & read all the responses just yet but thought I'd put my two cents in anyway.

    We've been through a long four year journey of infertility. We also underwent ivf too & were so fortunate of getting our dd from it.

    I've had a combination of both male & female sonographers (internal & external examinations) & Ob/Gyn's. I have had many internal examinations of all which were necessary along with a cesarian section when having baby.

    All of the doctors/medical staff doing this have been nothing but professional. I have never noticed a difference between male or female staff.

    This journey is hard enough as it is let alone having a partner sitting there making things super awkward when these medical procedures are necessary. The exact same procedures would be done if it were a female doctor/staff. I would be so angry & embarrassed if my DH had of behaved like that at any point. And to be completely honest I probably wouldn't go back if he acted like that.

    Is it possible that the whole pregnancy side of things be put off/delayed until you can get this sorted & be able to be there for your partner without thinking the male staff are doing this for no reason? Infertility is hard let alone having to worry about your partner being funny around medical staff. Maybe counselling would help?

    I can tell you first hand that none of the examinations are comfortable. Can you start looking at it in a clinical way & the way it is to get your baby?

    How do you feel about female doctors having to do all the same examinations?

    And I'm just curious, what about when you're at the age & have to have an examination to have your prostate checked? How would you feel if it were a female doctor? I can guarantee they wouldn't be thinking of that in any way other than a necessary examination.

    I do really feel sorry for male doctors sometimes. I never cared if my doctors were male or female, I only cared about baby.

  11. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I think you need to leave this issue to Bubhub. If you have a problem report it. I agree it's odd but I think it's a stuff up not of the OP's creation.
    I already have and have dropped it.

  12. #68
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    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Quote Originally Posted by M'LadyEm View Post
    Yes, but all those previous posts are coming up under your profile.
    Just on this, going through my posts you will find posts from another poster named 'sharvs' who is definitely not me and never has been me. I think it does happen when people have similar user names.

    Anyway, OP I think @BlondeinBrisvegas showed a lot of insight in her post. You recognise that your feelings are irrational which is a start and going from subsequent posts you come across as a little over emotional. Is it possible everything is starting to overwhelm you? I can't imagine going through miscarriages like that but I have been through a separation and know how tough that is emotionally. This seems like one thing you feel like you have control over, when lots of other things seem so out of your control.

    You are lucky that your partner seems so understanding of you at the moment, but there may come a point where she's had enough and won't tolerate it any more. I can assure you that if she were to become distressed during labour and her or your child's life were at risk, then you wouldn't be bothered about the gender of the doctor that saved them. Just get help. It's that simple.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TCK View Post

    The Lady wants a home water birth. I support that. The hospital is 15 mins away if things go awry. I have already had a brief look around at midwife services in our area and there are a few able to reach us.

    If the birth for some reason ended up in a hospital with no complications I think I would be too scared to request a female dr./midwife but I know that afterwards I will be going through the same thing again.

    .
    I wonder if you DP or DW (dear partner or dear wife) wants a homebirth as a way of managing your anxiety?

    I have to say, I've found your posts and point of view a bit... ick.

    Protectiveness and a short step away from possessiveness and controlling behaviours.

    Were you like this before fertility issues started?

    It's good that you've recognized your troughts aren't rational though.

    The best thing you can do, as previous posters have said, is seek some counselling for yourself. I suspect a previous poster has hit the nail on the head though: you probably resent feeling usurped by other men, partucularly since there's male factor infertility involved.

    Amateur Bubhub psychoanalysis is no substitute for proper counselling though.

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  16. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by TCK View Post
    Thank you for your help.

    Thank you for the acronyms!

    I can see how I might come across as possessive with the "my Lady" tag.

    I assure you all, that is not the case and in fact could not be further from the truth.
    Actually...I didn't find it offensive or possessive at all.

    I thought it was rather sweet and perhaps possibly a translation thing if English wasn't your first language??


 
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