That being said you are posting in a forum predominately used by females. Mums. Mums to be. People who want to become mums. Hormones are flying around left right and centre. You need to be sensitive to what you are saying and how that may be received by women. You can't just start talking about doctors shoving their hands up someone's vagina for no reason. Or whatever you said it was incredibly jarring, crude and offensive. It was the point in the thread where the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and the guard went up. You can't go threatening violence and using the F word in an aggressive manner in a thread when you (should) know damn well that violence against women is rife in our society (for your awareness, there are members on here who have been and currently are victims of domestic violence).
If you are to get through this you need to take a moment. A few days. Whatever time you need. Take a deep breath. Think about what you've said and done. Stop blaming others for how this thread turned out. YOU took it to a sexual place. YOU made a mountain out of a molehill. YOU are controlling of your wife - the fact that you sought her agreement with your unreasonable demand doesn't make it any less controlling. YOU made female members feel icky with your crude and aggressive language.
As others have said - please get help. Before you have kids.
I don't think there's anything more we can do for you until you get help, take a break and come back to revisit this in a calm manner when you have an awareness of how things may be perceived by the female audience here on BH.
Best of luck.
Last edited by VicPark; 30-05-2016 at 21:00.
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And yes, if you want to hang around and be a regular member of the forum then do so...but take on Vic Park's advice about the way you post. Describing an internal examination as someone shoving their fingers up someone's vagina is a DISGUSTING description. You actually made me feel dirty reading it...the fact that you even thought that to say it is so grossly inappropriate. You can't come on to a forum that is predominantly women and describe medical procedures we have ALL endured like that. It's not okay. If you feel that's what it is then it's further proof that you NEED to get help for your thoughts. It's that simple. Get help. Stop looking for validation, stop looking for rationale...some posters have given you insight as to why you might be feeling that way....that doesn't mean they're saying it's okay to feel that way and to ignore these feelings. Don't confuse the two.
I only have a quick second before work, but I have edited the post that is upsetting everyone to more accurately reflect what I'm thinking and to be a little more considerate.
I admit I have not taken into account that most here are either pregnant or trying and have been through a lot.
I apologise for not being considerate here.
Right, so for all you nasty *** people out there who have accused me of all sorts of things...
I have spoken to a psych and they think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. Many, many men have similar feelings about other men being employed for such procedures by their wives/partners.
Instead, the psych is focussing on the fact of life that occasionally it is outside of ones abilities to control such things, in particular in emergencies, but barring that instance, simply avoiding the problem where choice exists is a simple solution. If she feels controlled, she tells me. Simple.
Where choice does not exist that is where the psych is focussing. Getting though those issues.
Funnily enough I have already stated several times, that when the choice is not available such as in an emergency, then there will not be a problem as my main focus would be saving my partner and baby's life.
So once again, thank you to those who tried to understand me even if my wording was quite confronting. Thank you to those who even stood up for me against the naysayers.
But I will be continuing on my merry little life, trying to do the best that I can for the sole purpose of supporting my DP and the baby we may soon be having.
Right now, that is my life's purpose.
Goodluck, thanks for the kinds words. *******.
Good on you for seeking help! None of us is perfect but an objective professional can make a big difference at times. All the best with your journey - good on you for acknowledging your imperfections
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