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  1. #141
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    I still think it would be wise for you to seek professional help to work through this. You're lucky your DP is okay with your feelings and reaction to this. If you were my DP I would be upset that a medical procedure happening to me in a vulnerable position became a thing about you and your irritational thoughts. I would not be enabling you by only allowing females in...so, go and give your DP a big hug and tell her how lucky you are to have her.

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  3. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Can I ask a question? Say you're at a classy pub with your partner. You're both standing up at the bar and enjoying a quiet drink. It suddenly gets crowded as bars do, without notice, and as a strange man makes his way to the bar to order, he touches your DP on the lower back, more purposefully and for way longer than is necessary.

    Are you reacting physically now as you think about it? Do you think you would comment to the man? Get physical? Get angry but do nothing? Not care?

    Or is it the 'exposed, vulnerable' nudity aspect of the Doctor scenario that bothers you?

    I'm not starting $hit, just interested in the difference in the two scenarios to your mind...
    Good question.

    No. Not reacting physically. I would probably not say anything at that point. But as the day/evening/night progressed I would just keep a quiet eye out and see if it kept happening with her or others but I would leave it at that if nothing further happened. If he kept making advances then I might politely let him know that we are together if the opportunity arose.

    But otherwise I'm not too fussed. It wouldn't really effect my night.

    In realistic terms and you weren't to know that, but DP doesn't like crowds and is not fond of being touched much. So we wouldn't have been there when it got busy. Also, if she was uncomfortable being touched like that by a strange person she would tell them so.

    But I understand your scenario.

    Your second scenario gets under my skin. Especially if I imagine it being another man that's she's exposed for. Regardless of the circumstance. My heart rate has actually increased just telling it to you.

  4. #143
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    Op just go and get professional help. Nothing on the forum will solve your problems. Good luck.

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  6. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    I still think it would be wise for you to seek professional help to work through this. You're lucky your DP is okay with your feelings and reaction to this. If you were my DP I would be upset that a medical procedure happening to me in a vulnerable position became a thing about you and your irritational thoughts. I would not be enabling you by only allowing females in...so, go and give your DP a big hug and tell her how lucky you are to have her.
    Just because she's ok with it doesn't mean I have to be.

    I tell her everyday how special she is to me, in many different ways.

  7. #145
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    Just off point for a second.....

    I went Public for the pregnancy/birth of my/our DD. My Ex-Partner and I have/had no PHI when we did IVF (went through a full fee paying as we couldn't go through a low cost clinic due to the Ex's Obstructive Azoospermia) also.

    Anyhoo...I was classed as high risk mainly due to my age (being an old duck and all ) which was fine as it meant extra monitoring with scans etc which helped ease my anxiety, so I mainly dealt with OB's during my Antenatal visits (who were all male...none did any kind of internal examinations only felt my stomach and checked baby's heartbeat/size etc with their hands) though I did have a Student Midwife shadow me for the whole of my pregnancy. She was a gorgeous girl

    We also chose to have an Elective C-Section to deliver our daughter and had a male OB deliver her with a mix of males and females making up the Surgical Team, Midwife, Paediatrician etc which is standard at a C-Section birth
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 30-05-2016 at 19:10.

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  9. #146
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeinBrisvegas View Post
    Just off point for a second.....

    I went Public for the pregnancy/birth of my/our DD. My Ex-Partner and I have/had no PHI when we did IVF (went through a full fee paying as we couldn't go through a low cost clinic due to the Ex's Obstructive Azoospermia) also.

    Anyhoo...I was classed as high risk mainly due to my age (being an old duck and all ) which was fine as it meant extra monitoring with scans etc which helped ease my anxiety, so I mainly dealt with OB's during my Antenatal visits (who were all male...none did any kind of internal examinations only felt my stomach and checked baby's heartbeat/size etc with their hands) though I did have a Student Midwife shadow me for the whole of my pregnancy. She was a gorgeous girl

    We also chose to have an Elective C-Section to deliver our daughter and had a male OB deliver her with a mix of males and females making up the Surgical Team, Midwife, Paediatrician etc which is standard at a C-Section birth
    Thank you for sharing that.

    Being an abdominal surgery I would expect that you weren't on display for all to see?

    I would think you'd be covered in so many medical drapes and covers that all they'd be seeing is a patch of skin.

    You're not in stirrups for an operation like that are you?

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  11. #147
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    Thanks for your input.

    It's a slightly different situation but thanks for the 'other side of the coin' viewpoint.

    It doesn't make me feel any better though.

    I have not said no to anything. If DP said she wants a male Dr, she gets a male Dr.

    I will have to deal with it.
    Last edited by Mod-Degrassi; 31-05-2016 at 09:18.

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  13. #148
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    Quote Originally Posted by TCK View Post
    Thank you for sharing that.

    Being an abdominal surgery I would expect that you weren't on display for all to see?

    I would think you'd be covered in so many medical drapes and covers that all they'd be seeing is a patch of skin.

    You're not in stirrups for an operation like that are you?
    You will have a urinary catheter inserted during the caesarean which is a very intimate procedure.

    Serious you need to go and get professional help. If you don't and then do successfully get pregnant the who amazing journey will be overshadowed. We can't help you, we can't make you feel better. You've asked for help and the help we've all suggested is seeing your gp and then a psychologist.

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  15. #149
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    Quote Originally Posted by TCK View Post
    Thanks for your input.

    It's a slightly different situation but thanks for the 'other side of the coin' viewpoint.

    It doesn't make me feel any better though.

    I have not said no to anything. If DP said she wants a male Dr, she gets a male Dr.

    I will have to deal with it.
    I know it is not going to make you feel any better. We can't make you feel better, because only you can do that.

    If you are serious about getting over this you will talk to a professional someone who can help.

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  17. #150
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    I would suggest seeing a counsellor or psychologist of some kind.

    As someone who has gone through the public system for infertility issues and now pregnancy (currently 13 weeks), I have seen many male doctors.
    This pregnancy I have had a few issues which saw me in the emergency department and every doctor I saw while there (4 doctors) all of them were male. When you're in the public system, you don't get to be picky. They are professionals whose job it is to help you, nothing more, nothing less.
    I'm now being managed by an OB who is male and I love him and the work he does and would pick him over the female obs I have met.
    My GP is also male and I picked him by choice.


 

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