In emergencies I would be most happy to have anyone save the life of my partner and/or child.
I am still not comfortable with the idea of voluntarily seeking the assistance of a male.
It's not a choice I am making. The thought of it makes me feel squeamish. The feeling you get when "someone walks over your grave". So much so that face goes flush. My palms are sweaty and I start trembling. This is what happened when we first met the trainee and it got worse when we moved to the procedure room. My partner wasn't aware until afterwards and only because I told her. I don't think the nurses noticed and I think the trainee did.
I feel very uncomfortable with the idea and all I could think about last week was that I wanted this man to leave.
Our previous clinic we went to was a male Dr. A very well known fertility Doctor on the Sunshine Coast. We changed clinics for a reason completely unrelated. I was present for a scan that he did and whilst it was a little uncomfortable there was no problem. Nothing was ever mentioned about his gender at any point.
The reason I am here is because I WANT to be rid of this. But it isn't something I can simply choose. It's deeper than that.
Who knows, but perhaps I was even picking up on a vibe that he put out. The feeling was immediate the moment he walked in. Maybe it was instinct. But then again, maybe not.
There are hospitals that do midwife programs where you see a small group of midwives only. Are you on the Sunshine Coast? Or Brisbane area? Another option is a private midwife. Also, during pregnancy my appointments consisted of getting pathology/scan requests, checking heartbeat (with doppler - and this was 2nd trimester), checking uterus/bub positioning/growth etc (by pressing on stomach). The only time I had an internal was to check dilation (I had an induction booked - it was to see if I needed to be there overnight or morning).
All scans after 7 weeks are generally external.
So honestly there will probably be no issue. I would still advise of seeing someone. And I am glad you could speak to your DP about it too. I cannot imagine how hard IVF is so communicating is so important.
We are at Bribie Island so Caboolture will most likely be the place if needed.
We are hoping to use a private midwife service but I believe Caboolture has a midwife group of some kind.
The plan is for a home birth. That's what DP wants but she might change her mind. Will have to see how circumstances and choice play out.
All of the things you've mentioned, all the different tests sound just fine. I have no problem with a male Dr. doing these things.
Thankfully as far as IVF is concerned, we sailed through it. We were both expecting major mood swings and everything that comes with it. But everything was cruisy. She started to feel like a bit of a pin cushion towards the end but that was pretty much the worst of it.
The reason for IVF is affecting us (ie. Me) much much more than the actual process. Barring the reason for this post of course!
For the record. Someone asked if I would be OK if a lesbian were performing the procedure or training etc. the answer is that I would be fine with it.
In fact, I got the feeling that this trainee was gay. Just a feeling. I may be way off. Wedding ring but on his right hand. Is that what that means?
But it still didn't change what I felt.
No doubt someone is going to say I have a problem with people who are gay now. Go for it. I have several gay friends, just to stop you in your tracks.
I can PM you a private midwife recommendation if you would like? I think they might do homebirth.
Can I ask a question? Say you're at a classy pub with your partner. You're both standing up at the bar and enjoying a quiet drink. It suddenly gets crowded as bars do, without notice, and as a strange man makes his way to the bar to order, he touches your DP on the lower back, more purposefully and for way longer than is necessary.
Are you reacting physically now as you think about it? Do you think you would comment to the man? Get physical? Get angry but do nothing? Not care?
Or is it the 'exposed, vulnerable' nudity aspect of the Doctor scenario that bothers you?
I'm not starting $hit, just interested in the difference in the two scenarios to your mind...
OP if your partner is ok with how you feel and is willing to entertain your wishes then let it be.
Some men are more possessive then others. I think you need to keep the communication with your partner open, if both of you are happy then it's irrelevant what other people think.
If you want to work through your issues then see a psychologist.
On a personal level I would go bat s.hit crazy with your drama. But hey that's just me.
I still think it would be wise for you to seek professional help to work through this. You're lucky your DP is okay with your feelings and reaction to this. If you were my DP I would be upset that a medical procedure happening to me in a vulnerable position became a thing about you and your irritational thoughts. I would not be enabling you by only allowing females in...so, go and give your DP a big hug and tell her how lucky you are to have her.
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