I'll preface this by saying I'm a naturally very anxious person and am probably over thinking this. DH and I are divided over this so looking for some outside opinions.
I had my second child 2 months ago. I've found adjusting to life with 2 kids beyond difficult. I'm prone to depression so that might have something to do with why I'm struggling so much.
DD1 is 3 years old and enrolled in daycare 2 days a week. Since DD2 was born my mother and MIL have offered to look after DD1 for one day a week each, leaving me to only have both girls on my own for one day a week.
At first I was happy to accept the help but over time I've developed mixed feelings about it. As I said I'm prone to anxiety and over thinking. Some of the things I'm thinking/ feeling are:
Guilt - I should be parenting my children on my own; everyone else can do it why can't I
Sadness - I miss my DD on the days she's not with me
Relief - I feel overwhelmed when I have both girls with me alone and end up taking it out on DH and basically just being a crying nervous wreck
Frustration - both my mum and MIL overindulge my DD and don't enforce rules so when she comes home she's so hard to deal with
I keep telling DH I'm going to keep DD home with me on her non daycare days but then I get anxiety about it. He knows me and knows how I am when I'm anxious and overwhelmed and thinks we should accept the help and not worry about the bad behavior from DD after she comes home from her grandparents places. FYI DD loves going to her grandmas houses so it's not causing her any stress at all.
If you were me would you happily accept help in the form of free babysitting 2 days a week and not give it a second thought, or would you prefer to have your DD home with you even though you're very anxious about managing with 2 kids.