+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 54
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    2,890
    Thanks
    1,670
    Thanked
    2,143
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    It sits uncomfortable with me for a male (ex) to PM a partnered female about his relationship woes. If his parents aren't around ... doesn't he have any other fiends?
    Really? Why is it any different to a woman doing the same?

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,657
    Thanks
    2,794
    Thanked
    912
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    Yeah I get that some men are violent but hypertherically if he isn't (and I know he's not. You can all say/think whatever you want) what can he do?
    What happens when some makes false allegations against you?
    Nothing happens but it can be very, very expensive to defend. A lawyer is a must! He should listen to his lawyer. There is nothing that can be done until the court date, so he just has to wait.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    13,067
    Thanks
    9,846
    Thanked
    12,959
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    Really? Why is it any different to a woman doing the same?
    Forget gender - for me it's about sharing intimate details of your life and forming an emotional bond with someone who is potentially banging material. The fact that the OP and K used to date is just icing on the ickiness.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    Wise Enough  (26-05-2016)

  5. #24
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    2,151
    Thanks
    1,346
    Thanked
    1,225
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    He has a lawyer. Going to court June 14th. He has proof/evidence allegations aren't true.
    Out of curiosity, what evidence does he have that the allegations aren't true?

    I agree with PP, stay out of it but if you must, then be there as someone to lend an ear, and that's it. I wouldn't try to give him advice.

  6. #25
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    13,067
    Thanks
    9,846
    Thanked
    12,959
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by witherwings View Post
    Out of curiosity, what evidence does he have that the allegations aren't true?

    .
    Probably has a text message from the wife from 2 years ago saying that she loves him and he is a great dad. From what I've seen abusers tend to take long straws and twist them to try and prove they are innocent. I think half the time they are deluded enough to believe what they are doing isn't abuse.

  7. #26
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,005
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Probably has a text message from the wife from 2 years ago saying that she loves him and he is a great dad. From what I've seen abusers tend to take long straws and twist them to try and prove they are innocent. I think half the time they are deluded enough to believe what they are doing isn't abuse.
    Cut the OP some slack. You have zero evidence this guy is an abuser. It's really unfair to make suggestions like this based on nothing but a hunch.

  8. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    BH-KatiesMum  (26-05-2016),Chippa  (27-05-2016),Jast  (25-05-2016),littlerayofsunshine87  (25-05-2016)

  9. #27
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,005
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Albert01 View Post
    @Sonja, I don't think it's unreasonable to believe that a woman who takes out an apprehended violence order might be doing so because she is being abused.

    Of course we here on Bubhub have zero evidence that the OP's friend has committed domestic violence. That's for the courts to decide but I don't think it's unreasonable for people to raise the possibility that perhap's K's wife might not be a hormonally deranged post-partum nutjob whose current wont is to destroy her partner and her family by making false allegations.
    Absolutely I couldn't agree more. But I find it really uncomfortable when people on here hang people who aren't even posting on here out to dry.

    The op is this guys friend. It's not the friend posting, or the wife.

    I was a family lawyer I know what happens in public isn't how it plays out in private. I also know how damaging presupposing anything is.

  10. #28
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,005
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Just to add I have no problem with people suggesting the OP might need to take the blinkers off. Just gets out of hand if people start accusing him of being an abuser when there's nothing to go on. Just like there's nothing to say she is depressed or has PND. Both are abstract guesses at best.

  11. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    Albert01  (25-05-2016),BH-KatiesMum  (26-05-2016),Renn  (26-05-2016)

  12. #29
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,005
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Albert01 View Post
    I think what I am picking up from this thread is that people are encouraging the OP to try to take a neutral stance on the DV issue instead of assuming that the wife must be lying.

    I understand what you're saying about discussing/judging people who aren't in a position to defend themselves but we don't have names, addresses etc. No-one's privacy has been violated, no-one has been defamed.
    No it's fine it's just VicPark's post made me squirm a little about suggesting what evidence he may have. I found that heading into territory that made me uncomfortable.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    MrsTugs  (26-05-2016)

  14. #30
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    13,067
    Thanks
    9,846
    Thanked
    12,959
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    No it's fine it's just VicPark's post made me squirm a little about suggesting what evidence he may have. I found that heading into territory that made me uncomfortable.
    To clarify - I think it's totally plausible that K has valid evidence to refute the alleged abuse. Just wanted to highlight to the OP that she needs to take the blinkers off and consider all options - just because someone says they have evidence proving they are innocent doesn't meant they do. They could just have a long straw.


 

Similar Threads

  1. New friend.
    By 2BlueBirds in forum General Chat
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 18-09-2015, 21:46
  2. Fertility Friend No Friend Of Mine
    By InWatermelonSugar in forum Conception & Fertility General Chat
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-09-2015, 16:56
  3. Replies: 8
    Last Post: 29-08-2015, 15:08

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
Hills Swimming
Swim with your friends and you will all get a 33% discount!* We have programs to suit all ages and abilities, with small classes held in our warm indoor 25 metre pool. Highly qualified teachers, and award winning programs. *conditions apply
featured supporter
Impressionable Kids
Impressionable Kids are Australia's leader in framed children's memorabilia and specialise in framed baby hand and feet sculptures. With franchise locations throughout Australia you can be assured you will receive a quality handmade product with a lifetime warranty on all frames.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!