I rarely soon fed. I did baby led weaning. My 2 year old can use a soon and fork. Sort of (he puts the food onto the fork lol).
From about 10 months. She started using the spoon pretty proficiently from just over 1.
Although if something is really hot I will load the spoon up & blow on it a few times ready for her to pick up. Once it's cooled down she'll eat the rest by herself.
She is almost 2 now and can use a fork to stab/scoop but hasn't worked out the knife & fork combo yet!
It's hard when kids won't otherwise eat but for some kids they need to just learn to do it for themselves.
I imagine your nephew is their only child / oldest child?
Can't remember, deff before 2.5 though. We did not do BLW and yes, he can feed himself and is a fantastic eater! It's up to your SIL when to stop spoon feeding him, I wouldn't feel sorry for him it's not like she's doing something mean. We didn't let DS get in a mess with food and guess what, he has no food issues!
Well I have to confess, I still sometimes feed my DD who is 3. She sits at the table though not in a high chair. Although she did sit in one of them until 2.5. She can do it herself, she just gets really distracted while eating so sometimes I help her. She has made very slow progress with her eating but now eats a healthy diet with a lot more variety than she used to so spoon feeding her sometimes is the least of my concerns.
We never spoon fed.
We did BLW so didn't spoon feed other than 'help' out towards the end of the meal if needed.
But.... my mother still spoon feeds my Kids. Yes. At 6&4yo she will feed them. Why? Cos she wants to. I've given up telling her not to. On the plus side. She can get ANYTHING into them. Even food they hate. She charms them into eating. Tbh my grandparents fed my brother and I till we were 7-8yo. It was normal for us growing up.
DS is almost 2 and I sometimes help him but it's usually because he gets frustrated that he can't get the food in quick enough and he wants me to help him shovel it in (so me with one spoon and him with another, so he gets a steady stream of well-loaded spoonfuls as he tries to master his own technique)! Generally he wants to do it himself so I just let him go for it.
However, he did have a lot of problems as a baby so was spoon fed purées a lot longer than I would have liked. He had an uncoordinated swallow and would end up vomiting anything else. So his self-feeding skills are a bit behind his peers.
We did BLW too and the girls have always fed themselves. Right now, however, I am spooning risotto into DD2's mouth because otherwise she won't eat - too excited by our half renovated house. That's not normal for us though. She is not quite 2.5.
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