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    Default How vocal were you in labour?

    So I'm one of these people who always decides to 'do better next time'. For childbirth I interpreted that as being calm, zen and in control like the the women who put their birth on YouTube.

    Once again it didn't turn out that way. I went from 5cm dilated to fully dilated in 20 minutes. During those 20 minutes I repeatedly said I couldn't do this, begged my husband to make it stop, and made them call in the poor anaesthetist at that ungodly hour, even though I knew it was going to too late for an epi by the time he arrived.

    Because of those bloody YouTube videos I have it in my head that every other woman is cool, calm and collected and much better than me at this.

    Did anyone else just lose their mind during labour? Or am I going to regret asking this question? 😬

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    Default How vocal were you in labour?

    Yep felt completely out of control second time around. Kept saying ouch (der of course it hurts, not sure why I didn't swear/scream) and kept telling the midwife between contractions that I didn't know what I was doing/what was happening. Then completely freaked out when my body started pushing. Freaked DH out, who couldn't find the call bell and turned the lights off instead. There was no calm or in control at all this time around. But I really really appreciated going back to my normal self as soon as baby was out and I was sitting down. Apparently DH's experience was different, he thought this time was similar to last time...

    I think it's amazing you progressed that fast, it must have been a hell of an experience.

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    With my last birth I felt like I was screaming and loud but afterwards was told that I wasn't at all!! I felt like I needed to apologise for it, which really is silly because it's the most painful thing I'll ever experience (had no pain relief whatsoever). And my perception was different to the reality. There is no being 'better' than another woman at it. Everyone feels pain differently and handles it differently. Please don't try to be anything other than what you need to be at the time. :-) It's an intense experience, just get through it however you can. :-)
    Last edited by Bond Girl; 24-05-2016 at 20:36.

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    I always thought I wouldn't make to much noise. All 3 I've made noise and I've made plenty. It helps. I did focus on saying ooo or Ahhh (really loud and yelley and not at all flakey like it sounds 😂) not ouch or oww or anything like that, although I did tell DH a couple of times between contractions that this fu(kn hurts!!

    I honestly couldn't control making noise and for me it helped get through 3 completely drug free births.

    Oh and I apologised. A lot. But apparently I wasn't as loud as I thought I was.

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    Default How vocal were you in labour?

    I didn't make a sound during labour (I had drug-free births) I was very quiet, however that's not unusual for me as when I'm in intense pain I just go into myself and am quiet.

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    I went into every birth thinking I'll be better at it this time.
    My 4th was the worst. I handle most of it okay but I lose my sense of rationale during transition. During my 4th I remember doing the whole "I can't do it, just tell them to cut me open" thing. Plus I remember just full on screaming into the crook of his arm. I just cry during the normal contractions.
    I'm also a persistent apologiser. I continually apologise for being loud, for making a mess, for laying awkwardly etc haha.
    When my midwife came in after transition when I needed to push during my 4th, I just kept saying "lucky you weren't here 5 minutes ago. I lost my mind and was being very stupid". She told me it's fine and laughed a bit that I felt the need to explain to her.
    So trust me. Being loud, is not the most odd thing they will hear during labour.

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    I have done both. For me it's about what feels right at the time. There is no right or wrong. There is no do better next time. Each birth is different and how you feel and act can change.

    The only thing that bugs me is midwives telling you to do one or the other. My first baby she yelled at me every time I made any noise at all. She was a evil witch. She sent dh home and would let me call him. I had to sneak out to a public phone to call him. Than wouldn't let him back in until I threaten to sue.
    This was 22 years ago in a private hospital.

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    Oh btw that 20 mins you talk about is the transition stage and that is completely normal. You can tell the birth is really close when that happens.

    It last different length of time for different woman and even from birth to birth in the same woman.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    Oh btw that 20 mins you talk about is the transition stage and that is completely normal. You can tell the birth is really close when that happens.

    It last different length of time for different woman and even from birth to birth in the same woman.
    This.

    In my 1st and second birth I freaked - felt out of control and kept insisting I can't do it!

    Being vocal is fine. I am generally quieter and did not yell or anything. But I certainly was not zen!

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    Yep. Crazy ranting lunatic vocal.
    Said some awful things. Used bad words. Threatened the midwives. Apologised profusely afterwards.

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