And even if it was extreme, I could understand why. Like I said in an earlier post, the vitriol and judgement does seem to be more on the "anti" side. I don't want to name names or target anyone but there have been some pretty extreme statements made in regards to parenting choices eg: "why even bother having kids" if you're going to parent them that way etc. I may not decide co-sleeping or rocking my baby to sleep for every single sleep works for me, but you don't see me casting judgment on those that do, or telling anyone that their choices are going to result in psychological damage by making them too attached or less resilient.
I referenced a Facebook post earlier about sleep school where about 90% of the comments underneath were awful, attacking, highly judgmental and downright nasty towards anyone who a) uses sleep school or b) uses any form of sleep training. And I have to say, almost all of them were women. My comment was along the lines of, maybe if we women all supported each other a bit more and judged each other less, there wouldn't be such confusion about settling our children and some of us wouldn't struggle as much as we have.
I think the majority of posters on both sides have been polite. I've tried to voice my opinions without being nasty or casting judgment.
It sounds like no one here just dumps their kids in a cot, closes the door and lets them scream. While sleep training doesn't fit with my kids or my philosophy I see a bunch of mums who it has worked for, who still go in and pat, and reassure but to still let them have a little cry.... who love their kids just as much as I love mine.
It just doesn't instinctly feel right for *me*. And I've explained why. That doesn't mean I think members in this thread are horrible evil mothers. Not even close
This is where CIO/CC sleep training books work badly. People get so caught up in what they 'should' be doing that they lose the human element.
Last edited by amiracle4me; 27-05-2016 at 20:02.
It's also pointless debating as I doubt anyone on this thread has let a 5 day of baby cry for 30 minutes while they ate dinner to 'teach it a lesson'
Neither of us know the circumstances so both our opinions are moot really..
And was my comment at anyone on this thread? No.. It was in response to an anecdotal story from outside the forum..
Last edited by amiracle4me; 27-05-2016 at 23:00.
Anyway I'm not looking for an apology but wanted you (and others) to think twice before spouting off nasty unhelpful comments about parenting choices different from your own. Feeling physically unwell = fair enough. Calling someone callous and lacking in maternal instinct, saying they shouldn't have kids? Not ok.
The OP did say they wanted opinions from 'both sides'. I agree with @delirium that most comments have been respectful but it's things like this which is polarising and potentially damaging to mums who might come on here to seek help or advice when they are feeling vulnerable. And potentially stop people from seeking support when they are depressed. As I've said earlier I have PND (and do a very good job of hiding it from people around me IRL) and it's closely related to DS being unsettled and overtired and one of the best (only?!) strategies that has worked for our family is to leave him cry/grizzle for a bit. To think that someone in my support network might come over and think that I'm an unfit parent for using this approach frankly makes me want to isolate myself even more than I already am, thus further contributing to my PND.
Clearly this is an issue that's way too close to home for me. I'm out.
Last edited by MsViking; 28-05-2016 at 04:15.
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