+ Reply to Thread
Page 18 of 22 FirstFirst ... 81617181920 ... LastLast
Results 171 to 180 of 215
  1. #171
    rainbow road's Avatar
    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    in a glass case of emotion
    Posts
    12,409
    Thanks
    1,187
    Thanked
    8,058
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    I also refuse to be typecast or be pigeon holed into a style of parenting. I just go with what works best. I use cloth nappies, do BLW and used cc as my babies were cr@p sleepers.

    It makes life so much easier when you don't subscribe to a certain style and instead go with what seems right for your child. That is child led parenting.
    I agree. Everyone needs to do what works for them and their family.

    I just don't like the impression I get on bubhub that parents who don't use CC are suckers who are putting their mental health at risk to play the perfect parent.

    I don't care what others do but I do care when people imply that I am either doing the above, or being sanctimonious and judgmental.

    My mental health is just fine and was in the thick of it too. I didn't work, I could sleep in the day if needed and I have a great support network I could call on any day. I wasn't martyring myself. I understand why others do it though.

  2. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to rainbow road For This Useful Post:

    Clementine Grace  (27-05-2016),just her chameleon  (27-05-2016),Little Miss Sunshine  (27-05-2016),LoveLivesHere  (27-05-2016),VicPark  (27-05-2016)

  3. #172
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    2,269
    Thanks
    2,955
    Thanked
    1,410
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    Fantasising about accidents so I could be looked after in a hospital and just rest.
    I used to do this too, thought it was just me with that twisted fantasy. 😏

    As for cortisol levels and stress - has this been measured in a tired, strung out baby who won't/ can't sleep? I was freaking out about this (stress, neurological damage etc) with DS2 when we brought in a sleep consultant who advocated some controlled crying, and she pointed out that extreme sleeplessness (he was having 20 minute naps during the day and was constantly tired) was bad for brain development and resulted in elevated cortisol levels too.

  4. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to BettyW For This Useful Post:

    Little Miss Sunshine  (27-05-2016),MsViking  (27-05-2016),nh2489  (27-05-2016),Redcorset  (28-05-2016)

  5. #173
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    4,294
    Thanks
    8,243
    Thanked
    3,942
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    I agree. Everyone needs to do what works for them and their family.



    My mental health is just fine and was in the thick of it too. I didn't work, I could sleep in the day if needed and I have a great support network I could call on any day. I wasn't martyring myself. I understand why others do it though.
    I coped a lot better with sleep deprivation for my first. I could nap when she napped. No exhausting 3yo to attend to. Great support network that has since gradually fallen away.

    As it was my first mum was over all the time. MIL was also the same. Same with my friends who I have since becoming adrift from due to the isolation and not being able to get out and about with when you have a little one to care for.

    Second time around there was minimal support. Everyone who had helped first time had disappeared, including my mum. Everyone just assumes you know what you are doing now and it's much easier. Yes, dealing with the newborn is easier, but the juggling act with dd1 made it so very very hard. Besides, I think family really aren't interested in wrangling a 3yo and a newborn as opposed to just visiting and cuddling a newborn.

    So I did cc on dd1 at 8 months I think.... But I was already not coping on no sleep by 3 months with dd2 and things were falling apart pretty quickly.

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Little Miss Sunshine For This Useful Post:

    MsViking  (27-05-2016),nh2489  (27-05-2016),VicPark  (27-05-2016)

  7. #174
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    916
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked
    494
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    I avoid those kind of sites, I put them in the same boat as conspiracy theorists and anti vac sites. They are not impartial and are pushing an agenda.
    I also didn't use studies when researching cc.

    I asked people in real life. My parents, friends, other mums and dads. I read many many baby forums. People of all persuasions sharing their real life experiences.

    I trust that a helluva lot more than those pushing their agendas.
    Not being antagonistic but what agenda is there? Better child mental health is all I can see..

    Vegetarians have a huge agenda, the welfare of the animals.. They may be fanatical at times but mainly due to frustration at people not caring enough..

    I come in peace 🙏🙏🙏 genuinely interested in your response..

  8. #175
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Controlled Crying study

    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    I agree. Everyone needs to do what works for them and their family.

    I just don't like the impression I get on bubhub that parents who don't use CC are suckers who are putting their mental health at risk to play the perfect parent.

    I don't care what others do but I do care when people imply that I am either doing the above, or being sanctimonious and judgmental.

    My mental health is just fine and was in the thick of it too. I didn't work, I could sleep in the day if needed and I have a great support network I could call on any day. I wasn't martyring myself. I understand why others do it though.
    Good post. To clarify I'm not saying parents that don't sleep train are putting their mental health at risk. Not at all. I'm saying if someone is sleep deprived and aware their mental health is at risk and they continue to stick to their -will-not-consider-any-aspect-of-evilsleep-training guns, then that's when I think they maybe contributing to their own downfall.

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    nh2489  (27-05-2016),rainbow road  (27-05-2016)

  10. #176
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,431
    Thanks
    1,018
    Thanked
    2,081
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    There are huge flaws in methodology in this study. Gaping holes. Who points it out really doesn't matter.

    And I know heaps of people, both IRL and on here that CC/CIO from very early on, way before the 6+months recommendation and do so bc of convenience and being parent centred. I'm not actually criticising that persay. Just the notion that people don't expect babies to sleep and only use sleep training out of desperation.
    I know two families who have done strict CIO before 6 months, one at 6 weeks. It was extremely distressing going over there for visit, trying to drink my cup of tea while I can hear the 6 week old screaming in his cot but they don't go get him till right on the hour for his bottle, all I wanted to do was run in and grab him. He would be red faced, crying tears., obviously distressed. Same as another family at 3 months, it was done so they could get their schedule back, baby would go in his cot at night in the dark and cry himself to sleep.

    What I hate is when they then brag 3 weeks later that it's "worked" and I need to do it with my child. All that baby learnt is that there is no point crying because no one is coming.

    I totally get sleep deprivation because I have a terrible sleeper and I get that everyone has to do what works for them. Some people though, still do old school CIO for their own needs, not for the baby.

  11. #177
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    I know two families who have done strict CIO before 6 months, one at 6 weeks. It was extremely distressing going over there for visit, trying to drink my cup of tea while I can hear the 6 week old screaming in his cot but they don't go get him till right on the hour for his bottle, all I wanted to do was run in and grab him. He would be red faced, crying tears., obviously distressed. Same as another family at 3 months, it was done so they could get their schedule back, baby would go in his cot at night in the dark and cry himself to sleep.
    .
    I have never seen someone implement sleep training like that. Sounds like they didn't really know what they were doing. At 6 weeks there's plenty of other strategies that can be highly effective.

  12. #178
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    916
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked
    494
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    I know two families who have done strict CIO before 6 months, one at 6 weeks. It was extremely distressing going over there for visit, trying to drink my cup of tea while I can hear the 6 week old screaming in his cot but they don't go get him till right on the hour for his bottle, all I wanted to do was run in and grab him. He would be red faced, crying tears., obviously distressed. Same as another family at 3 months, it was done so they could get their schedule back, baby would go in his cot at night in the dark and cry himself to sleep.

    What I hate is when they then brag 3 weeks later that it's "worked" and I need to do it with my child. All that baby learnt is that there is no point crying because no one is coming.

    I totally get sleep deprivation because I have a terrible sleeper and I get that everyone has to do what works for them. Some people though, still do old school CIO for their own needs, not for the baby.
    Reading that's made me want to cry.. Wtf do people like that have children 😢😢😢

  13. #179
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,431
    Thanks
    1,018
    Thanked
    2,081
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Controlled Crying study

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I have never seen someone implement sleep training like that. Sounds like they didn't really know what they were doing. At 6 weeks there's plenty of other strategies that can be highly effective.
    Well I guess it was their strategy and they were following Tizzie halls schedules though I do know she doesn't advocate strict training that young. It was purely done so they could get their life back straight away

  14. #180
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    2,039
    Thanks
    2,788
    Thanked
    1,031
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I have never seen someone implement sleep training like that. Sounds like they didn't really know what they were doing. At 6 weeks there's plenty of other strategies that can be highly effective.
    I've seen it. More than once. I have left a person's home in the middle of a meal because the distressed screaming of a newborn for over 30 minutes (she was 5 days old!) made me feel like I was going to vomit. She apparently wasn't due for a feed for another hour and needed to learn.

    I have held a week old baby and instinctively started to rock to be told to stop. The baby will be spoilt. That same baby was sleeping alone in a room downstairs from the family so he would not disturb their sleep at night.

    I have ended long term friendships over people's belief that a baby must be shown who is boss from the day they are born. Who are fed on a strict four hour schedule from birth, who will learn to fit in to their parent's lives.

    None of these people did this to avoid PND, to cope with chronic sleep deprivation, to go back to work, to salvage a fractured relationship - the poor little baby hadn't been around long enough!

    Some of these experiences were before and some after having my first child. I wonder if experiences like this influenced my feelings? I wonder VP because you haven't seen this is this why you were more open to using training for your children?

  15. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to binnielici For This Useful Post:

    Alicia111  (27-05-2016),amiracle4me  (27-05-2016)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Controlled settling
    By Someday mama in forum 'No Cry' Sleeping Solutions
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 23-02-2016, 14:52
  2. Is controlled crying for us?
    By Azvanna in forum Pro - Controlled Crying
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 22-10-2015, 12:59

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Xmas with a NEW Fridge-to-go Lunch Bag! Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Fridge-to-go 8 hour cooler bags are ideal under the Christmas tree! Now in modern lunch bag designs - fill them with toys and chocolate to make parents and kids happy! Stay super cool and eat healthy and fresh food all summer long!
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Sarah Tooke Childbirth & Parenting Education
Providing private, personalised antenatal childbirth & parenting education to expectant parents in the comfort of their own home. Sessions are flexible, including everything that hospital based programs cover. Click to find out more!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!