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  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnygirl79 View Post
    Often it's not safe to stop, especially on the freeway. Unfortunately driving is the only means of transport for some of us and when your Bub hates the car you have no choice but to let them cry so you can get from A to B. I stayed home way more than was healthy with my DS1 for this reason. And when I did pull over, he'd just scream again when I put him back in. Often it's easier on both parties just to get to destination as quick as possible. He grew out of it by about 2. How I didn't end up with PND I don't know. He's a lovely well adjusted kid now.

    DS2 thankfully is 50/50 with the car. He still screams all the way to kindy drop off every morning - unfortunately being child #2 he just has to fit in with his older brother.
    I stayed home pretty much the first 3 months with DS. Of course not possible with DD. But I am fortunate enough to have had an 'easy' enough birth to walk or catch public transport 99% of the time. Although DD is loads better than DS.

  2. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    What do those of you who can't bear to let your baby get upset do when you are driving and they start crying? Do you pull over? Not having a go, a genuine question.
    I know on occasion my babies have cried 15 minutes or longer on a car trip and we can't stop.
    if it happens on the freeway you just have to keep going. if it happens on a normal road I try and pull into a maccas or some kind of car park where I can safely park and attend to bub.

    it happened this morning actually as we were driving dh to work. ds started crying on the westgate. what can we do? nothing. just patted him from my seat and tried to shush him/comfort him with words. then he dropped off to sleep!

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  4. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    I stayed home pretty much the first 3 months with DS. Of course not possible with DD. But I am fortunate enough to have had an 'easy' enough birth to walk or catch public transport 99% of the time. Although DD is loads better than DS.
    Public transport is pretty much absent where I live. I'd love to walk DS1 to kindy but it's about 16km return 😂. I can walk to the corner shop but everything else I have to drive. As DH works away I often get MIL to pick up DS1 from kindy to save me the screaming trip!

  5. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnygirl79 View Post
    Often it's not safe to stop, especially on the freeway. Unfortunately driving is the only means of transport for some of us and when your Bub hates the car you have no choice but to let them cry so you can get from A to B. I stayed home way more than was healthy with my DS1 for this reason. And when I did pull over, he'd just scream again when I put him back in. Often it's easier on both parties just to get to destination as quick as possible. He grew out of it by about 2. How I didn't end up with PND I don't know. He's a lovely well adjusted kid now.

    DS2 thankfully is 50/50 with the car. He still screams all the way to kindy drop off every morning - unfortunately being child #2 he just has to fit in with his older brother.
    My DD was the same for the first 4 months. Even if I did stop as soon as I put her back in the car seat she'd scream hysterically. It didn't help if I sat in the back with her if DH drove. Mirror, toys, music, white noise, silence nothing helped. It got to the point I would have an anxiety attack if I had to go in the car with her and I stayed home as much as I could as it was horrible. I had tried everything and was at baby bunting one day (screamed the whole 15 minutes drive there) and asked for advice and they said flat out buy a new seat. I was desperate so I did. And it worked INSTANTLY. she just hated that damn infasecure seat. We even tried her in her existing seat in the shop as a comparison and she screamed sitting in it. She's been great ever since thankfully. But yes screaming in the car is bl00dy horrible and stressful.

  6. #125
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    Default Controlled Crying study

    Quote Originally Posted by flowers21 View Post
    It doesn't at all. Cio worked for my 1st dd where if you went in she used to esculate in crying so it was better to let her cry it out. My daughter now I can't do this as she just goes on and on and on. All I was saying was they are all different and therefore different methods can be required
    I get that it didn't work for you. I do get that. But it's worked for me. That's why I hate judgement from others (not targeted at you) saying it's wrong (not just wrong for you personally) and not parenting.

    And to point out yet again cc and CIO are very different things. The study, and what I'm referring to is cc. (Not that I judge others that do CIO).
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 26-05-2016 at 11:34.

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  8. #126
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    I am not surprised by the findings, but one study is not sufficient to make conclusions about harmfulness vs no harm. If I saw a Cochrane review of several high quality randomised controlled trials that consistently showed no harm I would honestly probably try it.

    (Mum of two bad sleepers who never used CCing because of fear it would harm them)

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  10. #127
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    I have 3 shocking sleepers. Well, my middle child isn't so bad anymore but my oldest (7 yrs) still sleeps.with me, as does my 6 month old (who wakes hourly all night).

    I don't do cc and this study won't change that. I am exhausted but my instincts scream at me that it is wrong (for my kids). I ignored my instincts when my oldest was about 7 months and gave it a go, but it made things worse. Now he is older and I know his personality it makes complete sense to me why these methods didn't work for him.

  11. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    What do those of you who can't bear to let your baby get upset do when you are driving and they start crying? Do you pull over? Not having a go, a genuine question.
    I know on occasion my babies have cried 15 minutes or longer on a car trip and we can't stop.
    I would pull over for my oldest. My middle child never really got upset in the car. My youngest (6 months) is seated next to his 7 yr old brother in the car and I am lucky that they adore each other. My oldest can calm the baby amazingly well.

  12. #129
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    One of the things that really annoys me about these threads and the comments made from very anti cc/cio babies is that people are making assumptions about what it is like to do cc/cio and deciding that those methods cause long term damage without having tried them or seen first hand what it involves. Yes I get that if you are against it you don't want to try it but don't then think you are in a position to say that it is cruel and causing damage when you haven't actually seen or experienced that happening. Many people have posted here about their children being very attached, emotional, screaming as soon as left of their own etc and I know what that's like as ds2 is like that. Even at 11 months I spend most of the day with him attached to my hip as he screams as he nears the floor for me to put him down. His cry is piercing, he's always cried like I'm cutting his leg off and I've always thought of him as being a bit of a drama queen. When I tried cc a while ago he didn't respond as he obviously wasn't emotionally ready and while I feel bad that I put him though it I don't feel he has suffered long lasting damage. Now almost 6 months on I have tried again even though I was absolutely terrified of how he would respond thinking it would break him but I was totally broken so felt I had to do it. How did he respond? Did it break him? No. It was like flicking a switch, after a couple of days most sleeps were without any crying and after about a week he was sleeping through the night.
    So my point it whilst many people may believe their child does not have the temperament to handle cc or cio, don't judge and project those assumptions on other babies unless you have tried it or seen the "damage" it can supposedly do. First time around with ds1 I had never come across these negative opinions so had no worries about doing cc which I firmly believe was the best thing I could have done for him, this time I have spent soooo long feeling horrendous guilt and fear due to threads like this.
    Don't do it if it's not for you but please don't make comments that could make others feel bad when they ate purely your opinions of the damage rather than hard evidence. (Yep the op talks about one study looking at evidence it does no harm and people have jumped on that being the "only" study but please someone show me a scientific study that shows the proven harm it can do as I've only ever found hearsay articles. They may be written by medical professionals but they are still only theoretical, as far as I can see there hasn't been any proven links.)

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  14. #130
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    Interesting study. For me, it isnt broad enough to give any conclusive results. I think different things work for different kids.

    My 1st dd hated to be touched when she wanted to sleep. Me cuddling her or even being in the room meant she just screamed. So I did CC, she would cry o grizzle for 15ish mins & drop off to sleep. She is an amazing sleeper & by far my best. She still doesnt like to be touched when sleeping, if she is sick or has a nightmare she will sleep on a mattress next to my bed, but not usually with me.

    Baby #2 had a lot of health issues as a baby. She would usually go to sleep cuddling upright on my chest to alleviate reflux. When she was older, I would sit by her & pat her to sleep. When her health issues were sorted, she slept through - CC wouldnt have worked for her. She is still a big cuddler now, & if she wakes at night, loves me or dh to sleep cuddling her.

    Baby #3 I tended to do what was easiest. She liked to be rocked in her capsule or bassinet for the first 6 months. Now she is over 1, DH usually puts her to bed because she settles faster for him. He will let her cry for 5 minutes (any longer and she gets too worked up), & then will give her a cuddle & she will be asleep within 5 minutes after. I tend to sit by her cot & pat-shush, but it can take up to an hour,so I prefer dh to do it! She used to scream in the car sometimes. It was tough, but I just had to weather it, especially on the freeway or if we had an appointment, etc.


 

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