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  1. #91
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    My DS was another who just doesn't have the personality for sleep training. And I certainly don't. We co-slept and muddled our way through the early years. Now at 2.5 he climbs into his own bed and says goodnight to us and sleeps for 10-12 hours a night (no day sleep since he turned 2).

    He's extremely bright and struggles to switch off so I think that's why a) CC would never work for him and b) he doesn't fit the 12 in 24 mould. Occasionally he will do a 13-14 hour stint and usually it's followed by him doing something I had no idea he could do (like pointing out table numbers 49-58 the other day at a cafe. I didn't realise he recognised numbers past 30).

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  3. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    It seems that genes mainly determine whether a child is a good or bad sleeper though. Tizzy Hall/CIO advocates make out that a crap sleeper must be bc they weren't sleep trained. When there is more and more research showing that only plays a small role. And given my first 2 kids were sleeping though by 6 and 8 weeks and I have done nothing different with my 3rd, it's clearly not the method at fault...
    You sure you did things the same with your third? Even with just 2 I found it a little more difficult to stick to routines in the same way as daycare drop offs and what not got in the way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    You sure you did things the same with your third? Even with just 2 I found it a little more difficult to stick to routines in the same way as daycare drop offs and what not got in the way.
    Yep. I co slept early on with the first 2 then transitioned to cots. Ds2 wasn't having a bar of it lol My kids were much older when he was born - 8 and 11. So if anything, it was easier sleep/routine wise than going from 1 to 2 kids, where there was only 2 yrs 9 months between. I haven't sleep trained any of them, but the other 2 self settled really early on, it was great.

    He's just a sensitive, demanding Mumma's Boy. He also has a full mouthful of teeth whereas the other 2 had only about 5 or 6 at this stage and I really do think that is part of it. He's been shocking the last few days, even for him - I found another molar today

  5. #94
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    I don't necessarily get the old kid doesn't have the personality for sleep training thing. CC or even CIO *maybe* but not sleep training in general. Sleep training can involve simple things like timing naps appropriately, not unnecessarily delaying solids, using a cloth comforter, following eat-play-sleep instead of eat-play-eat-sleep, making sure bub is warm enough (the amount of sleep issues that have been solved by extra blankets or a heater is unbelievable). Really simple things. Personality doesn't play a role in those things - parental actions and styles do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    "A LANDMARK South Australian study has put to bed one of parenting’s most polarising issues: is controlled crying harmful to babies?

    The world-first, controversial study, conducted through Flinders University and published overseas today, has found that the sleep-training method — where babies are left to cry themselves to sleep at varying intervals — has no adverse long-term effects on a child’s emotions, behaviour or attachment to its parents and in fact provides significant sleep benefits to the baby."

    Would this make you more willing to try CC? Or feel less opposed in your thoughts of those that do?

    http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/lifest...aff24df0b61393


    ETA I just wanted to clarify that this isn't in the pro controlled crying section, as I wanted to hear both sides.
    I've done CC for both my boys with massive success, so this article doesn't make me more supportive of it, as I already think it is a good method to use in certain circumstance at a certain age. I wouldn't do it for my kids before 6 months and maybe not even 12 months. For DS1, we started at 15 months and DS2 just after he turned 1.

    Having said that, if the study had concluded the opposite, that it was harmful, it would make me seriously reconsider doing it with our 3rd. Maybe only in extreme circumstances.

    I'm very much of the opinion that the parent's mental health is just as important as the child's, and if you haven't had a decent sleep for 12 months, it's definitely worth considering Cc as a last resort.

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  9. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I don't necessarily get the old kid doesn't have the personality for sleep training thing. CC or even CIO *maybe* but not sleep training in general. Sleep training can involve simple things like timing naps appropriately, not unnecessarily delaying solids, using a cloth comforter, following eat-play-sleep instead of eat-play-eat-sleep, making sure bub is warm enough (the amount of sleep issues that have been solved by extra blankets or a heater is unbelievable). Really simple things. Personality doesn't play a role in those things - parental actions and styles do.
    Many parents of bad sleepers try all these things. Consistently for awhile, along with quite a lot of other things. Some kids are outliers and it just doesn't work for them. Even a paed will tell you that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    Many parents of bad sleepers try all these things. Consistently for awhile, along with quite a lot of other things. Some kids are outliers and it just doesn't work for them. Even a paed will tell you that.
    I agree. I also think there are a number of parents who think they try all these things consistently and in reality only try half the things on an adhoc basis for whatever reason (unaware, busy with other kids, don't think some things are important, some things go against their beliefs).

  12. #98
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I don't necessarily get the old kid doesn't have the personality for sleep training thing. CC or even CIO *maybe* but not sleep training in general. Sleep training can involve simple things like timing naps appropriately, not unnecessarily delaying solids, using a cloth comforter, following eat-play-sleep instead of eat-play-eat-sleep, making sure bub is warm enough (the amount of sleep issues that have been solved by extra blankets or a heater is unbelievable). Really simple things. Personality doesn't play a role in those things - parental actions and styles do.
    We did all of this. I've been strict on day naps for a long time because if he had five minutes more than he needed he wouldn't go to sleep at night. And he had a structured night routine. Just not your preferred structure.

    He was the kind of kid who from newborn did not take to being left in a cot or bassinet on his own. He screamed hysterically in a car seat or pram until he was old enough for me to start reasoning with him. He never went compliantly to others as a baby, even our parents. That's just him and I frankly had no interest in changing him to benefit me. He's a legend and I'm glad I didn't stifle that (CC would've been stifling for him).

    I read an article recently about how boys struggle more than girls as babies because studies have shown their brains are just not as developed as girls. Everything in it described DS to a tee.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blessedwith3boys View Post
    Very right and yes they certainly do.
    Sleep is so very important, I don't understand people that don't see that. For a childs development and to function at their full potential toddlers still need a day sleep. People would understand more if they read the sleep sense guide. I wish I had it and followed it when I had ds1. Ds1 and ds2 had day sleeps until they were 5. Ds2 is 5 and will still have a sleep on the weekend if he is tired.

    For the first few months when baby is born you go with their flow but after 3 months they need to be able to self settle and be taught to sleep. With persistance and strength it will not be long before baby is sleeping well, baby will be happier and so will mum and things will be easier. It sure beats dealing with a miserable baby and a mother who is down and sleep deprived.
    This just makes my blood boil. I know you are entitled to your OPINION - but that is ALL this is, opinion. It is not fact. If you have had children that CC/CIO worked for bully for you, if it suited your parenting style bully for you.

    Do no state this as fact - it is NOT fact.

    I KNOW sleep is important, I am an intelligent well educated well read women (including among other things an honours degree in developmental psychology). My knowledge had nothing to do with DS2's sleep patterns.

    Speak to your adult friends - ask them how much sleep they need. Be astonished by the variation in answers!

    Newborns are not tabular rasa to be imprinted - then somehow miraculously form individual personalities and unique characteristics at some future date - I don't understand people who don't see that.

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    I've tinkered with pretty much everything. I've added more blankets, taken them away. DH and I both get hot feet and like to stick our feet out so I've tried PJ's. I've tried onsies. I've tried the cot. Giving him a bottle when I go to bed, not doing it. I wouldn't consider this sleep training, just attending to their needs.

    I'm with Rainbow on this. DS2 is who he is, and I won't stifle that to benefit me. That isn't Martyr Syndrome, I very very rarely complain about how tired I am as I know I'm essentially choosing it. DH and I are child centred, and I don't doubt that decision for a second.

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