It all began in Feb of this year. I had been in my job for 13 and a half years , working as a registered nurse in a hospital. I was working in a stroke ward.
I was totally miserable , the pts were miserable, the work was heavy , the relatives were often difficult and i used to go home at the end of the day totally exhausted , unfullfilled , negative and just hating my job. BUT i was too gutless to leave. You see i have an anxiety disorder and i am scared of change.....
However things end up happening for a reason. There were 2 bullies on our ward. I had never been the target of their nastiness before , in fact i had always gotten along with both of them well . There was a real culture of see what happens but don't say anything, no body wanted to the next target. Sometimes they would pick on the wrong person and they would get reported to management. Nothing ever changed. All of a sudden they began targeting me. I was at the end of my rope and as one was berating me about a totally trivial issue a lightbulb went off in my head and i knew what i had to do. Nobody could persuade me otherwise. I was told it was a bad time , the Government had a freeze on all jobs etc etc. I ignored it all and resigned.
What has followed has been a bit of a nightmare and an an emotional rollercoaster. I had been in the same job for nearly 14 years. Now everything has changed. Everything is online, its all so competitive, selection criterias, resumes, cover letters. I rarely had to use the computer in my real life or my job so other than surfing the net and navigating facebook my computer skills were sadly lacking. Ive been on a steep learning curve ever since. There have been many tantrums and countless tears.
I quickly found a job with an agency but my happiness and relief were short lived. Im doing an average of 1 to 2 shifts a week,many shifts get cancelled. As has the one today. I have applied to other agencies and jobs , 40 in all. Im still waiting. I would even go rural but i can't leave my boy.
And so i sit at the computer for hours every day trawling Seek and other websites for jobs. Sometimes i think maybe im not meant to be in nursing . Bu then what?
I quickly ran out of my payout and things have been hard since. Ive been dipping into my sons savings account, pawned a ring, borrowed and have just applied to centerlink. I didn't realise you could extra help if you had a job, i though you could only apply if you were unemployed. The stress has been unbelievable and i didn"t think i have ever cried so much in my life.
Anyway the purpose of this thread is twofold. One its a record for me. I hope to look back and see this journey and two, its totally lonely and depressing not working much. I spend all day alone, there's no one to see as everyone is out working and there is no money to do anything. So i do housework , look for work and run my boy around to soccer training ( all paid for before i quit work) and his job. So if you are also struggling to look for work, come say hi or if you have your own success story come and tell us. I need some inspiration!
Anyway must go. Time to hit Seek.