I still think you should not completely discount it til bub is actually born (these hormones may just change your mind!) but it's ultimately your call.
would you consider expressing and bottle feeding expressed milk? that way bub gets a bit of boob juice and your hubby still gets a go at feeding bub?
I get that it's nice to involve the hubby (mine bottle feeds our ds too) but there's no substitute for the snuggles and fuzzy feelings you get from BF (I mean for you obviously, not your hubby).
I was straight up about not BF from the minute I got to the hospital. No one asked why and they respected my choice. I was given medication to stop my milk from coming in and it worked great, no issues at all.
OP are you private or public? I know it's not right but I've found the more you pay the more they respect your decision not to BF. That's just what I've found around my friends.
I had attachment issues so even though I planned to BF I couldn't. I pumped for a month and mixed fed. If you still wanted some of your milk to go to your Bub you could pump and put it in a bottle. You may have to pump some off anyway to relieve the pain.
Time and time again people told me you'd 'know' when you're in labour. I got over hearing it but I have to admit, it's totally true! I did have a few signs of labour being around the corner (losing mucus plug/bloody show & had a clear out). Once contractions started hard and fast I knew it was labour.
I had an epidural after 20hrs of painful contractions back to back. I don't know how I lasted so long but it was the best thing for me as no other pain medications offered me any relief. I would easily have another epidural if the labour was similar to my first.
I never thought I'd have an epidural! Went in with a natural birth mindset but walked out with a birth far from that! (I'll spare the details!)
Do whatever gets you through and brings your Bub here safely!
With my first I felt guilted and a lot of pressure from midwives and lactation consultants to persevere with breastfeeding when it wasn't working, my health was suffering and my baby was miserable. This ultimately led to PND and so I am very wary of the pressure to breastfeed in society.
OP there is absolutely nothing wrong with formula feeding from birth, I am 32 weeks and will be doing it. I just told my OB and midwives straight up that is what my plan is and there were no dramas. I will be bringing my own bottles and formula to the hospital, though many hospitals supply them. I was advised to bring my own so Bub gets used to the teats/formula and doesn't have to change when home. There is a medication to stop your milk coming in, you will need to ask your healthcare professional.
Sterilising and washing is no drama. I did it once a day with my first, took all of 10 minutes to do that and then prep bottles for the next day.
I believe you bond just as much with your Bub whether you breast or bottle feed. You are still close and sharing something very special.
I imagine most staff will respect your decision, but if you get a pushy midwife don't be guilted. This is your baby and your decision, fed is best, whatever your feeding method. All the best.
Last edited by Patience86; 23-05-2016 at 18:40.
Wise Enough (23-05-2016)
was going to add this but didn't want to derail the thread. suffice to say, it nearly broke me. hands down one of, if not the, hardest thing I've done (the labour was the easy bit lol). I expressed for weeks to keep up my supply whilst trying to get my ds to learn to latch and feed properly. was not easy.
all that said, we offer formula in the evenings so my dh can have a go and I get a break. I'm definitely not anti-formula feeding. in fact I can't stand the pressure to BF from the midwives (public hospitals I think are notoriously worse for this) and I hate the piousness that some exclusively BF mums adopt!
I'm just trying to encourage a first time mum. or at least try to encourage a first time mum not to discount it completely.
There are plenty of good responses already, but yes if it's labor you'll know it, it is different for everyone and very hard to describe IMO. For some it is slow and steady and for others fast and furious. Your waters may or may not break before contractions begin (they often don't break until in established labor). You may or may not lose your mucous plug (gooey substance) before contractions begin. But it's not considered to be real labor until you're having regular contractions a few minutes apart consistently for an hour or more. The contractions generally start out mild but get more intense as labor progresses. There are apps you can download and use to time your contractions, some even prompt you when it's time to go to hospital. Your midwives will ask you to call beforehand and be able to guide you at the time also.
Whether or not an epidural is a good choice is a very very individual thing. You should familiarise yourself with the risks, and also know there is a chance it might not work. It is the most common pain relief option however there are risks and it restricts you to a bed which may not be an optimal position depending on your baby position and your body.
With regard to breastfeeding if you are 100% decided on bottle feeding I would suggest writing it (and any other preferences) in a birth plan and give your hospital a copy/have additional copies for your midwife team. Some hospitals will make you sign a waiver, but they can't make you breastfeed if you don't want to.
Labor is largely out of your control. Just remember women have been doing it for thousands of years and keep going back for more - don't read horror stories, familiarise yourself with pain relief options if pain is a concern for you. And do consider doing some kind of birth preparation course/workshop or at the very least some antenatal classes.
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!