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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ngaiz View Post
    They do indeed. There was a very highly publicised case in 2011 where a couple terminated perfectly healthy twins based on gender alone. I'd rather GS over that any day.

    Eta-the twin boys were conceived via IVF too.
    No words, I'm all for choice but this is disgusting.

  2. #42
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    I can see this as one those issues I do a compete 180 on as a result of Bubhub.

    Yes if it stops people aborting unwanted embryos maybe it should be allowed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ngaiz View Post
    You could say the same for infertile couples.
    yes that's exactly my point . ivf by its very nature is unnatural

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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    No words, I'm all for choice but this is disgusting.
    This was my thoughts and when I spoke to DH he also was a bit speechless.

    For me it would be hard to go through a wanted pregnancy and then terminate due to the gender. I could not cope with that.

    ETA. I actually had no idea this happened.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerKat View Post
    yes that's exactly my point . ivf by its very nature is unnatural
    Sorry I read it that you were singling out those groups. I guess it's the nature of science and modern medicine. A lot of what we do now is unnatural in order to preserve or prolong life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    This was my thoughts and when I spoke to DH he also was a bit speechless.

    For me it would be hard to go through a wanted pregnancy and then terminate due to the gender. I could not cope with that.

    ETA. I actually had no idea this happened.
    Nor did I. This has made me cry. As someone who has had such a rough journey and still has empty arms I can't imagine how anybody could/would do this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerKat View Post
    Haven't we already started 'messing with nature' when we allowed same sex couples and single women access to IVF? They wouldn't have been able to have children without this technology. I know it's not quite to the same level but essentially we've already started going against nature when IVF was conceived and developed.
    This is exactly what DH and I said when I asked him his view earlier after writing my initial post. It seems counter intuitive to be pro IVF for people who can't conceive naturally when using the "nature" argument as I did, yet be against gender selection. DH has the exact same view as me (which surprised me) and like me, struggles to articulate why. We both know if our rationale was held up for scrutiny we'd have to concede we're OK with gender selection. But yeah, it just doesn't sit right.

    I suspect I'm probably going to change my view by the end of this thread. I was also thinking about terminations when someone finds out they're having a boy/girl and they'd rather the opposite. I am very much pro choice when it comes to terminations, even in cases of social reasons. I might not do it myself but I agree the option should be available. Therefore I think I should also be pro gender selection for the same reasons. I don't know.

    I'm not sure about the "my body, my choice" argument though. This isn't about pregnancy. This is separate and is more a "my family/life, my choice" IMO.

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    On the IVF thing, for me it's different again if a couple who has gone through IVF to have children has "leftover" embryos and decides to have another child. These embryos are already made and I have zero issues with them choosing one that is a specific sex because they want to rather than just going with chance. I guess my reluctance lies solely with the process of undergoing the actual creation of an embryo to "make" a specific sex.

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    My first thought was no way.

    I typed up a massive post about the biological and demographic consequences of gender imbalances in populations, strong gender bias for boys in Asia, the middle east and north Africa and a preference in Western society for girls.

    However it occurred to me that a huge swing to females or males in a society could be a natural form of population control. That in itself is not a bad thing as the earth is overpopulated.

    I do have concerns about couples accessing IVF for nonmedical reasons and the strain on an already overburdened medical system.

    I'm now on the fence.

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  14. #50
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    A few years ago I would've been hell bent against it, however I don't really know where I stand now.

    As a same sex couple who used IVF, I basically had to shop for our donor, we chose someone with features we desired (although we chose based on DPs features so if we could've conceived naturally I'm sure DS would've looked fairly similar!) and I'm sure there are people who are against that idea and probably also against same sex couples having access to IVF at all.

    I think if a family want to select sex based on already having two or three of one sex, I'm not really opposed to it (although don't think it should be Medicare funded).

    But I'm a bit hazy on it all. I desperately wanted a daughter and I'm so happy belly babe is a girl, so I guess I can't understand what it is like to really experience gender disappointment. I do think if Bub had been a boy I would've been really holding onto every hope I had that a third would be a girl and so I can understand people would rather choose than go through feelings of regret and sadness if they conceived another baby that wasn't their desired sex.

    It's a grey area for me.


 

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