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  1. #181
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I see where you are going with the example. However I don't think Gender disappointment is in the same league as chronic fatigue and hence I feel less empathetic towards those parents. Maybe I need to do some more reading into gender disappointment - at the moment I have some preconceived notions about it being a label slapped on a conglomerate of other issues rather than a stand alone medical condition.
    Yes look it's not a fab example, but I'm basically trying to say that it doesn't help anyone to say well you should be grateful because it could be worse for xyz reasons. You could say that about any hardship you experience in your life. House falling apart? Well at least your aren't homeless. Job giving you the sh*ts, well at least you aren't unemployed! Baby not sleeping through the night and your tired as all hell, don't complain you should be grateful that you HAVE a child when other people can't. You get my point. Just because you don't think GD is a valid thing, or something you can't comprehend, doesn't mean it isn't real to those experiencing it. And I think it was Sonja that thought it was probably like a depression, and I'd say yes it probably is. People can become depressed because they aren't happy with aspects of their life, doesn't always have to be because of something that you think is a big deal.

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  3. #182
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    We had counselling 11 years ago. No donors involved. It was compulsory back then.
    4 years ago now and counselling certainly wasn't compulsory for us (own bodies, no donors though).

  4. #183
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    Quote Originally Posted by KitiK View Post
    This isn't entirely correct in my experience. I requested the test and was provided access to it. No invasive questions and no overt concerns which would have indicated it was necessary. I wanted it, its my out of pocket - $600ish maybe less) my OB was happy to write the pathology request. My test was obviosuly to check for trisomies but I also requested I be advised of the sex, so either way I could prepare. Test at 10weeks, shipped to the US and I got results in 7 days from recall.
    I'm going on my own experience back in January and from friends aswell and that of what my OB has said to me and the head of radiology as she did my scan. I'm 39 with a 9 yr age gap and a high risk pregnancy but I came back 99.9% healthy and didn't want to know the sex and a healthy baby is all that matters when you've been trying 4 years with ivf that has worked then more that has failed then surgeries aswell

  5. #184
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    Quote Originally Posted by babybeeno1 View Post
    I'm going on my own experience back in January and from friends aswell and that of what my OB has said to me and the head of radiology as she did my scan. I'm 39 with a 9 yr age gap and a high risk pregnancy but I came back 99.9% healthy and didn't want to know the sex and a healthy baby is all that matters when you've been trying 4 years with ivf that has worked then more that has failed then surgeries aswell
    Looks to be more of a personal OB/professional choice than a policy. Any OBs on here to clarify?

    I certainly had no opposition to access and friends in a similar boat experienced the same - not an eyelid battered... we went through IVF as well - not sure if your comment is meant to explain your particular situation, but a healthy baby was important to us also and I am pretty sure most other people (hence the testing) and we would never have aborted based on gender - abnormalities would have been a different issue given we already had 2 girls and quality of life is important to us. Also not to say nothing will ever happen to our kids in the future - touch wood. I know I just would have needed extra support to wrap my head around having 3 girls and $600 was not prohibitive to enable me to do that. Everyone has a different story though. I guess thats the point. Unless You have been there you can empathise, but you dont know the complexities of others situations - also not saying thats your assertion.
    Last edited by KitiK; 22-05-2016 at 17:54.

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  7. #185
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    I think it's only if you're using donor gametes that counselling is required. And maybe genetic counselling if you need PGS or PGD.
    We were required to have a counselling session in 2014 before IVF. It was pretty light, but run by a proper psychologist. Like Sonja no donors or PGD/S either.

    Perhaps it depends on the clinic. We are with Monash.

  8. #186
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    Quote Originally Posted by lileitak View Post
    We were required to have a counselling session in 2014 before IVF. It was pretty light, but run by a proper psychologist. Like Sonja no donors or PGD/S either.

    Perhaps it depends on the clinic. We are with Monash.
    Must depend on the clinic then

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  10. #187
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    Must depend on the clinic then
    Or the state maybe?

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    This is a really interesting thread. I have to say though that I'm getting more inclined to say it should be illegal for non medical reasons. This is a real disorder by the sounds of things and should therefore be treated by professionals for the sake of the children.

    I've worked with people who are transgender so I guess my mind goes to them and vulnerable people like them. Imagine growing up knowing your parents paid thousands of dollars for you to be a certain gender and then realising you had gender identity issues? It doesn't bear thinking about. I just think this is too high a burden to place on a child to be a certain way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sally1981 View Post
    This is a really interesting thread. I have to say though that I'm getting more inclined to say it should be illegal for non medical reasons. This is a real disorder by the sounds of things and should therefore be treated by professionals for the sake of the children.

    I've worked with people who are transgender so I guess my mind goes to them and vulnerable people like them. Imagine growing up knowing your parents paid thousands of dollars for you to be a certain gender and then realising you had gender identity issues? It doesn't bear thinking about. I just think this is too high a burden to place on a child to be a certain way.
    While I don't disagree that the reasons behind gender disappointment seem too complex to solve simply by choosing a gender, I wonder how many would actually have the money to use the technology and then of those how many would have a transgender child?

    The number would be so small. I don't know for a fact just my gut feeling.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sally1981 View Post
    This is a really interesting thread. I have to say though that I'm getting more inclined to say it should be illegal for non medical reasons. This is a real disorder by the sounds of things and should therefore be treated by professionals for the sake of the children.

    I've worked with people who are transgender so I guess my mind goes to them and vulnerable people like them. Imagine growing up knowing your parents paid thousands of dollars for you to be a certain gender and then realising you had gender identity issues? It doesn't bear thinking about. I just think this is too high a burden to place on a child to be a certain way.
    I think, after following this thread from the beginning (and not commenting as I had no real opinion ) that my dawning thought is that I actually feel quite concerned for the mental health of those who suffer extreme GD. That regardless of whether they are pursuing Gender selection actively, they need some extensive counseling to sort out where these extreme feelings are coming from and their implications if they have a child of either gender.

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