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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    I believe that autism comes under the group of genetically inherited conditions now and because of the higher prevalence in boys, you can sex select for a girl. If you have 2 or more children with autism.
    I didn't know this. I find it odd though because if it's genetic but more prevalent in boys then I can't see how having a girl is likely to reduce the likelihood of her having autism when you already have 2 kids with it.

    But I'm not an expert on genetics.

  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerKat View Post
    I can imagine how disgusting it sounds to women who are desperate for a baby (full stop) to read of women who are devastated to be pregnant with their 2nd, 3rd, 4th son. It does sound very yuck and so ungrateful etc. But you just can't compare your situation to theirs. Whilst logically it doesn't make sense, these are their feelings none-the-less. It doesn't make their feelings less valid because of your fertility struggles. I don't mean that to sound insensitive to you, because your feelings are also 100% valid. But to a woman desperate to have a daughter (for example, their are also many women desperate for a son - I was in that camp), she cannot explain her incredibly strong, innate desire to have a daughter, but when she hears stories of women who battle just to have one healthy child she feels incredibly guilty that she shouldn't feel completely happy and content with her gorgeous brood of boys. And so the cycle of gender disappointment and it's guilt, grief and sadness goes on. The mother ADORES her boys, she wouldn't give one up for the world and loves each and every one of them. And yet her heart aches to have a daughter. Every time a friend/relative has a daughter she is torn with jealousy and cries at night. It sounds over the top but this is a silent reality for many many women. After having my daughter I was so afraid I'd never have a son I would cry whenever a friend had a boy. I never thought I'd be lucky enough to have one of each. I cannot put into words why it was so important to me, it just was. It sounds ungrateful because yes there are women (like yourself) that just want a healthy baby in their arms. But you have to separate the two situations, it's like saying that someone with chronic fatigue syndrome shouldn't be sad that they are sick because they should be grateful they don't have terminal cancer.
    Thanks for explaining this @GingerKat. I have to admit, I've never really understood gender disappointment. I had a friend who went through this a while ago and whilst I tried to be sympathetic, I couldn't empathise if you get what I mean. So it's really good to have it laid out clearly like this...makes it easier for me to understand (as much as possible).

    In terms of the larger issue of gender selection, my knee jerk reaction is to be against it for the reasons VP and others have stated, but reading this thread is really making me re-assess. Now I don't know quite where I sit....

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  4. #103
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    @GingerKat big thank you again for taking the time to explain this issue so eloquently for all of us.

    I have really changed my mind on this topic.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    @GingerKat big thank you again for taking the time to explain this issue so eloquently for all of us.

    I have really changed my mind on this topic.
    That's so sweet, you're very welcome, as you can see I'm quite passionate about it. But I do also understand people's hesitations, it is a bit of a can of worms scenario.

  6. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    They could also go to the U.S. or other countries to choose the sex.

    Though I don't think in this issue you can put people being able to choose the sex of an embryo to implant in the same basket of people aborting a healthy Pregnancy based on sex.
    I'm not saying that it is the same thing, just that there is a way to do it.

    A friend of mine is against the blood test as she has heard of a couple using it to determine whether they would keep the baby. (It was a girl and they aborted, which to me is heart breaking)

  7. #106
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    Default Should gender selection for non medical reasons be legal in Australia

    Quote Originally Posted by GingerKat View Post
    Wanting to parent a certain gender is not comparable in the slightest to wanting a child with blonde hair. To even suggest that is offensive i think.
    I'm trying to see where you a re coming from - I just can't. I don't see the difference between selecting physical features such as blonde hair and selecting physical features such as a vagina or penis. I am open to hearing more - just scratching my head at the moment.

  8. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I'm trying to see where you a re coming from - I just can't. I don't see the difference between selecting physical features such as blonde hair and selecting physical features such as a vagina or penis. I am open to hearing more - just scratching my head at the moment.
    Being blonde has nothing to do with your personality. Being female or male does. We have entirely different lives because of our genders and not because of our hair colour.

    For me it's so completely different it's almost impossible to answer. It's not because girls wear dresses and boys play with trucks. We all know that's not guaranteed. I have 3 girls and 1 boy and they are all different from each other but my 3 girls are just essentially different in many ways from my son and I know my life will be different with each of them as they age, but my girls will grow up possibly to become mothers themselves whereas my son won't be.

    It's a lifelong journey that differs for each of us but our gender plays a definable part of that.

    Our hair colour or eye colour does not.

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  10. #108
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    Default Should gender selection for non medical reasons be legal in Australia

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Being blonde has nothing to do with your personality. Being female or male does. We have entirely different lives because of our genders and not because of our hair colour.

    For me it's so completely different it's almost impossible to answer. It's not because girls wear dresses and boys play with trucks. We all know that's not guaranteed. I have 3 girls and 1 boy and they are all different from each other but my 3 girls are just essentially different in many ways from my son and I know my life will be different with each of them as they age, but my girls will grow up possibly to become mothers themselves whereas my son won't be.

    It's a lifelong journey that differs for each of us but our gender plays a definable part of that.

    Our hair colour or eye colour does not.
    Good point re gender affecting ones life more than hair color. However a parent choosing a baby based on gender it hair color both still leave me with an icky feeling. To me, the impact on the baby's life (hair color not much, gender a lot) doesn't change that icky feeling that I feel.
    Is your point that playing god with gender could potentially have more of a negative impact on society? Because I would agree with that.
    Last edited by VicPark; 21-05-2016 at 23:45.

  11. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I'm trying to see where you a re coming from - I just can't. I don't see the difference between selecting physical features such as blonde hair and selecting physical features such as a vagina or penis. I am open to hearing more - just scratching my head at the moment.
    I agree. In my life I have been defined by my hair colour as much as if not more than my gender.

    Atm I don't agree with gender selection for non medical reasons. I was the long awaited for "girl" and it didn't do me any good during childhood.

    Eta. I'm not sure gender affects personality. Look up "the gender similarity hypothesis".

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    I believe that autism comes under the group of genetically inherited conditions now and because of the higher prevalence in boys, you can sex select for a girl. If you have 2 or more children with autism.
    My understanding of the higher prevalence of autism in boys is because girls are less likely to be diagnosed.

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