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  1. #11
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    I really think that some babies are just easier than others in all aspects of life!
    Our DD was a terrible sleeper. Much like you've said, she would only sleep for 10-15mins when in her cot/bassinet but would sleep decent lengths if held. Sleep training wasn't for us so we just rolled with it and I held her for day naps and ended up co-sleeping at night with the cot side-car to our bed and I progressively inched DD away from me and into her cot over a few months.
    At 13months DD was still waking 3-4 times/night but she would re-settle quickly with one of us in the room so we set up a spare bed in her room and even now (DD just turned 3) my husband or I just sleep the rest of the night in there. That way everyone gets enough sleep to function & manage at work/daycare.
    Thankfully, even though the progress has been painfully slow, we have almost always seen gradual improvements in DDs sleep.

    It was pretty exhausting when she needed to be held to sleep but we were able to do it because she was our first baby. If baby number 2 is similarly difficult my plan is to baby ware during the day so I can still care for/play with DD & get some stuff done during the day!

    I'm sure you'll make the best choice for you & your family.
    I found The Happiest Baby on the Block & Pinky McKay's Sleep Like a Baby books to be really helpful. The later mostly just validated my feelings and choices but that was helpful since I felt like I was doing everything "they" say not to do (co-sleeping, responding when DD woke for the zillionth time that night, feeding to sleep etc) but as an older friend pointed out, who are "they" really?

    It's also worth mentioning that even though DD was really difficult at sleep times she was (& still is) a lovely, happy, kind, sweet little girl who has never had any issues with fussy eating! :-)

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by A&S View Post
    Thank you. It's always reassuring to know someone else gets how damn hard it is to have a baby who doesn't sleep. Do you wish you had gotten a SC earlier? I think it's me that's the problem because I just can't handle her crying. I pick her up and cuddle her after sitting there listening and patting for 5-10 minutes. I don't have any confidence and when she cries I figure she needs something. I thought the SC might be able to help me more than anything.
    Look, I honestly don't think getting a sleep consultant earlier would have made a huge difference. I still hate having DS cry at all. It's his only way of telling he wants/needs something, and I feel that if I ignore it then I'm doing him a huge disservice. I was tired, and it pretty well broke me, but I don't regret letting him sleep on me or getting up to him. I do regret not seeking help for PND earlier than I did. (Please note - in no way am I criticising anyone who sleep trains. I completely understand why. However, it just didn't work for me or my DS.)

    At 8 months his day sleeps dramatically improved. When I contacted the sleep consultant, DS had started to make some signals that he was ready to change his sleep - he signalled he was tired and wanted to go to bed,he signalled that he wanted to go to sleep in his cot instead of on me, and he signalled when he was ready to start falling asleep without me touching him. My DS is a sensitive little thing, and feels all emotions very strongly.

    Have you tried baby wearing to get things done? I also think if you follow the safe co-sleeping rules, you might be able to try it for a couple of nights and see how you go. Just some suggestions if you aren't ready for crying (because even gentle sleep training methods will have tears).

  4. #13
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    @A&S, I forgot to say, if you want to know the specifics of my DS's (non) sleep history, and what I've done, and how I coped (or didn't), or you just need a safe space to vent to someone who completely gets it, feel free to PM me. I've probably been there and felt/said/done that all before. And having someone you can trust with that stuff made a huge difference to how I coped. Hugs. Hang in there x

  5. #14
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    Not in the same boat, but I've read and roughly follow the Happy Sleeper book. It has plans for four months and under, and over four months. DD is nine weeks, and I've found their advice to be pretty helpful, especially for how long she should be awake for during the day.
    Good luck, and I think a SC will help you achieve what you want in the way you want- a SC won't necessarily mean crying, or a technique you don't agree with. There's more than one way to skin a cat (and get a baby to sleep), a good SC should be able to help you get to where you need to be.

  6. #15
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    We got a Sleep Consultant at roughly 6 months and it was the best thing.

    Yes it involved crying but DS wasn't left in the room crying on his own. The first night was hard but from then on it got so much better. He still woke up twice a night for food (little bub so wasn't allowed to drop the feeds).

    He started to stretch out the second half of the night and eventually dropped that feed. By 9/10 months he was sleeping through and hasn't stopped since!

    Naps took a lot longer to sort out, which I was advised they would.

    Do your research and find the right person. It will be hard emotionally but you will be so thankful you did it.

    Good luck

  7. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by emeraldsandsiamonds View Post
    We got a Sleep Consultant at roughly 6 months and it was the best thing.

    Yes it involved crying but DS wasn't left in the room crying on his own. The first night was hard but from then on it got so much better. He still woke up twice a night for food (little bub so wasn't allowed to drop the feeds).

    He started to stretch out the second half of the night and eventually dropped that feed. By 9/10 months he was sleeping through and hasn't stopped since!

    Naps took a lot longer to sort out, which I was advised they would.

    Do your research and find the right person. It will be hard emotionally but you will be so thankful you did it.

    Good luck
    Thanks who did you use and where are you located? I definitely can't go down the CC route but I realise there will be tears and that's okay. I just want to be able to help her better.

  8. #17
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    I've had lots of sleep issues with ds2 (just check out my millions of threads and sleep journal on it!) and although it's been tough and at times I've had to roll with it, I'm still a firm believer that if its not working for you and your family don't be afraid to look into options to fix it. I'm sure you've been told many a time how normal your situation is and all babies will eventually grow out of it etc etc but that doesn't help when you're at the end of your rope. It's not easy for all babies but I do think things can at least be drastically improved with some help and training (that training doesn't necessarily have to involve crying either).
    The only thing I would add from my personal experience is that although my ds1 was ready and we managed to sleep train him easily within 3 days when he was 5 months old, ds2 has been very different and when we tried at 5 months it just didn't work. I let things go back to how they were as it was the only way to manage and then about 10 days I tried again (he's almost 11 months now) and the experience has been totally different. It's like he just gets it now but he wasn't emotionally ready before.
    I guess what I'm trying to say is if I were you I would get a consultant, but if things don't work out well or they regress don't stress as you can always retry at a later stage. Good luck.

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  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by A&S View Post
    Thanks who did you use and where are you located? I definitely can't go down the CC route but I realise there will be tears and that's okay. I just want to be able to help her better.
    We are in WA and used Sleepytime she did an initial phone call (free) then came round for a chat. Then did up a program. We then had phone calls for two weeks and I think one or after that.

  11. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by emeraldsandsiamonds View Post
    We are in WA and used Sleepytime she did an initial phone call (free) then came round for a chat. Then did up a program. We then had phone calls for two weeks and I think one or after that.
    I'm in Perth. I'll play this out for a few more weeks and see if things improve. If not I might look into sleepy time. I like the idea of a free phone call just to see if they sound right for us. I contacted Ngala the other day. They said we could come in for a day stay and that would be about $500. So that also might be helpful but very expensive.

  12. #20
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    Have you searched to see if there are any free services like sleep school? We are in Sydney and in Sunday we are going to tresillian for a 4 night residential stay to try and sort things. We needed a referral from gp and I pay for my food which is $50 per day but otherwise it's a free service as its a charity. Not sure if there is anything similar near you. Try asking your local health nurse. X

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