hugs @tegs26, I hope you're getting some rest
@winsor i totally agree. I was hoping the young kids were donor egg kids from her sister! It was pretty sad. I have always had upfront specialists who told me all the time about my chances. I wonder if some women just don't want to hear it? I can understand that, too. Maybe I've been lucky with my specialists being straight forward??? I'm also assertive too, maybe that helps?? It's too easy to sit back and judge these ladies. I'm glad I haven't seen anything on Facebook or whatever. There would be a lot of insensitive assumptions that I'd rather not know about!!
Mine have as well. The issue with that was my first specialist told me we could keep trying naturally or do IVF fast forward 2 years and my second FS told us he would get us pregnant in 3 goes and he didn't. Now we have wazza. No false promises. No guarantees and no false hopes.
One interesting thing that I found out and I am a bit bothered by it is that my donor is still in Australia she never left well she left for a few weeks to go to NZ but now she's back and she is doing another cycle for travelling donors ( I think) as she is back in Brisbane. I never considered that they would do multiple donations in Brisbane. I also can't understand why she stayed here when I paid for flights for her to go home to SA so I wonder now if my flight payment instead subsidized a holiday to NZ and perhaps the new couples flight payment (for SA to Australia) did the same? Plus how does the visitor visa that I put forward for her work. Is she still here on my visa application, was she all along ? Feeling a bit cranky at travelling donors ATM. Somethings not sitting right.
I watched the four corners episode and they certainly had an agenda. I wonder if someone associated with the show had had failed cycles and given up and had a bitter taste in their mouth.
In a way it was good to see another viewpoint. You heard from people that tried and tried and tried again and were still trying. Also the lady who walked away from IVF without a baby. You never think it will be you but statistically it has to be someone. I guess it helps to know that if it is you, you are not the only one. Unfortunately clinics also advertise clinical pregnancy rates. I was looking at my clinic stats and for my age group it was something like 30% clinical pregnancy rates. My further research led me to find that about 20% of those miscarried after 7 weeks.
Aside from that, the show made me angry. What I didn't like was the drain on taxpayers angle and also if you are 38 or older, you may as well give up before you start or else you are just headed for disappointment as no-one succeeds. I would have liked to have heard from the couples that finally got a baby on their 10th, 25th, 37th cycle, the couples that went the egg donor route, couples that went the surrogacy route. It left you feeling that it either works first go or it won't work at all and there is no other option.
Clinics have to make their statistics available. I doubt the first woman was unaware of statistics. She tried to look shocked as they told her to when the reporter said she had a 3% chance of a live baby but she knows the odds, we all do. The woman no doubt knows she has a 3% chance and is saying to herself, well I still have a chance because when it is all that you want, you cling to any little bit of hope you can get. If you haven't been there you don't understand. Tell someone they have a 3% chance of getting eaten by a shark if they go in the ocean and they will say, well there is a 97% chance I won't so the odds are in my favour. Tell a couple desperate for a baby that they have a 3% chance and they will say, well it isn't zero so let's do it.
Tegs26 sorry to hear that you have had a scare. Good news that the ultrasound shows everything is in the correct place. I know it is hard not to stress and I hope the ultrasound you have had will ease your mind a little.
I would definitely question that as well @Maxwellsmum. Sounds to me that you paid for a return ticket and the other couple paid for a return ticket and only one ticket was bought. There therefore leaves the difference of the cost of one international return ticket which has either gone to the agency in South Africa or the donor was given that to pay towards her NZ holiday. No idea what visa she was on but it must have been the one so once again, two visa fees have been paid for.
Last edited by calypso75; 31-05-2016 at 16:07.
@Deskar I am not sure when your scan was but I hope it has given you some answers. Thinking of you.
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