Sorry ladies for not being as active as the other lovelies, with work & family commitments I just don't get the time.
Last edited by skye76; 19-05-2016 at 07:25.
thanks @Bongley and @winsor Im ok, I was super busy at work yesterday and then after a 2 hour commute home we went out for dinner and wine!! A poor lady apparently passed away whilst driving not far from our house near the local station and so the whole area was blocked off and the traffic getting through the last 5minutes to home was a nightmare. Poor woman.
I started getting a bit of bleeding last night so Ive stopped the meds, I haven't bothered with testing again as I figure I can save my tests for my de cycle. I will ring the hospital to tell them and Im not going to bother with the blood test, save the taxpayer money and save me petrol money!!
I just feel excited really (and a little bit daunted) to start our new chapter that will hopefully be really bloody easy!!!! Im just hoping that everything falls into place and we get our take home baby..finally. Universe.... are you listening
Ive got some catching up to do but also wanted to say hi to @Billie2 and glad to hear your blood count has gone back to good territory. I still cant believe what happened to you.
hi to all the "warrior women"
Yeah I was thinking about all the different ways people deal with and grieve their own losses etc. Its such an individual thing isn't it, Ive never been one to hold on to my mc's as my lost babies I guess, I haven't had that connection to them. And when its happened Ive of course been devastated but have also felt this immense need to get them out of my body so I can move on. It sounds horrible but its just how I felt. And maybe it means I haven't properly grieved for them and in time will do so. I think Ive felt a lot of anger at the unfairness of it all and maybe thats got something to do with it. I know my SIL who went through years of infertility and her only pregnancy resulted in her one child, she says its changes you forever going through all that and I think she has held on to some anger about it too. It possibly also has something to do with how long you've been going through it too, as I think going through years of hardship will take its toll. I don't imagine I will ever lose the ramifications of it completely, but I know in time things do fade into the background somewhat.
@Tinachris I think when I have had conversations about IVF it depends whether Ive actually brought it up or if Ive been asked about it. Being asked about it by friends with kids hasn't brought out the best in me. But my friends who never really ask me stuff, I can talk to them about it pretty matter of factly. And now Ive become a bit numb to it all and can even talk about failed cycles quite easily. Again maybe its the anger i feel towards it all coming out. I have never seen a counsellor about specifically IVF but have seen a Psychologist after I had my ectopic pregnancy as I was having anxiety issues for quite some time. I think trying some counselling is a great idea.
@BlondeinBrisvegas I hope you are doing OK with the change in meds too, have you had any massages yet? Thanks for updating the mammoth roll call!
Love the name @BlondeinBrisvegas reminds me of the old 'long term IVF warriors' thread that existed.
@tuxcat, I'm so sorry. I know you were expecting it but it's still so devastating, DE plan B or not Yeah, the anger at the unfairness of it all gets me (on behalf of couples/singles who don't make it too) it's like being surrounded by lottery winners who have no idea. Even my partner doesn't fully understand the frustration and mental and physical wringer of the past 5 years. I was just thinking too today of how it has affected my job, I have become so withdrawn and uninspired as I've tried to cope with the stresses and strains of trying to get pregnant. Unless work is dropped in my lap I am not being proactive and seeking it out and being creative and helping my career and helping my team (hello wage gap!). I actually said to one of the bosses at one point that I liked my job as I didn't have to think too much. I realised by the look on his face that that was a very bad thing to have said and I've regretted letting that slip ever since!!
Welcome back @Billie2 oh my goodness, yes I remember your dramas. How awful that they still don't know what caused that terrible bleeding Glad you are on the mend.
Last edited by Bongley; 19-05-2016 at 09:47.
I'm very sorry too @tuxcat. even though you were half expecting it, it's still a rough outcome. hugs. I hope everything goes smoother for DE - it's good to have that option for your plan b. I hope you can treat yourselves over the w/e. maybe plan a long w/e away to mark the passing of your OE attempts?
@Bongley - your post rings so true for me! I have studied a long time and worked really hard to get where I am and now have changed from a motivated person who thrived on getting my job done well to someone who is uninspired and just going through the motions - and ttc and IVF is completely the cause. I am hoping that when this IVF is all over I will get my work mojo back.
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