@Tinachris sending you lots of hugs. It sounds like you have high expectations of yourself and are being pretty tough on yourself. As we all know to our cost IVF is physically, emotionally, medically, and financially draining, so I'd say feeling tearful is a very natural response to all the stress and turmoil. When a cycle fails we all need to grieve it, in whatever is the best way for us. I only talk to DH and one other friend IRL about IVF. Others know about it, but I don't discuss it as I've found they were unempathic, perhaps great about cycle one, but not understanding as we kept cycling and I've just found it's better to keep it private. A counsellor might be helpful if they have an understanding of IVF and fertility. Maybe see the counsellors at QFG? With a counsellor you don't have to worry about their feelings, how you come across, or things being brought back to haunt you if you go off on a tangent or think out loud, so it can be cathartic.