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  1. #11
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    I think it's normal. We had a great birth but he was a terrible feeder so I only BF him to 3 months. I get the same emotional pangs whenever people talk about BF. my plan was a year and I kinda mourn the loss of that experience. My girlfriend was going on about how easy BF was for her at brunch yesterday and I had to walk away.
    So I guess we all have things that don't go to plan. Maybe celebrate the great things. The things that surpass your expectations. I found the love bubble of a newborn so intensely beautiful and surreal. That's my favourite bit of the whole experience. Not the feeding or the birth, just getting to know my little man and seeing us as new parents and the falling in love.

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    turquoisecoast  (16-05-2016)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    ok glad to hear it's not just me lol

    I've considered seeing someone to talk it through but there's nothing really to talk over. like it was reasonably straightforward. although it didn't go as per my birth plan, it's not like there was anything wildly traumatic or unforeseen that really threw me off. the medical staff talked me through everything and the possibility of cs was brought up as soon as I was admitted. so everything that happened I had time to consider and talk over with dh. at no point were we pressured into anything or pushed into something I wasn't comfortable with without adequate time to discuss and think it over.

    I admit the calm birth classes we did kind of set me up for this experience I wanted that didn't happen and I'm a bit sad about that but I think I've made peace with that now. I realise now getting so caught up and attracted to an ideal experience was a bit naive.

    as you say, I think the whole experience was more powerful than I thought it would be and has affected me much more than I ever thought possible.

    maybe I just need to cry it out and allow myself to be swept away with emotion lol. maybe dh and I need to discuss it together? we've not really had a moment to ourselves since the birth to debrief?
    This sounds very much like my experience. Nothing terrible happened, I don't feel traumatised, but it was still not as expected and so I didn't have particularly good feelings about it for a long time.

    Definitely debrief with your DH! Or even writing out a birth story can be really helpful to clear one's mind and stop it being a big swirling mess of emotions.

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  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by deku View Post
    This sounds very much like my experience. Nothing terrible happened, I don't feel traumatised, but it was still not as expected and so I didn't have particularly good feelings about it for a long time.

    Definitely debrief with your DH! Or even writing out a birth story can be really helpful to clear one's mind and stop it being a big swirling mess of emotions.
    I've been meaning to write my birth story so maybe that will provide the catharsis that I'm seeking.

  6. #14
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    DS1 was emergency cesarean, DS2 was attempted and failed VBAC that ended in caesarean. I was 10cm dilated with both but it didn't work out. Neither were "traumatic" as such, there was no urgency or rushing around or chaos or anything, but that's how they were both born.

    DS1 is almost 6, DS2 is almost 4. I still struggle with talking about their births. I find it hard to articulate why I feel the way I do but I still cry about how it all panned out.

    Even writing this is hard.

    I've just started seeing a psychologist (again) for broader issues but we've touched on this and she plans on working on it in our sessions in much more detail.

    Talk it out, whether with a professional or your partner. I've not really done that with anyone and suppressing it hasn't helped me at all.

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    turquoisecoast  (16-05-2016)

  8. #15
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    I find I'm a lot more emotional post-birth, and I cry a lot more easily. Australian story and long lost family regularly have me bawling. Singing 'your song' to DD also sets me off.
    I put it down to hormones and lack of sleep

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    turquoisecoast  (16-05-2016)

  10. #16
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    I think it's good you brought this up. Noone ever talks about how you may feel about your birth afterwards. Like some of the stories here the birth may not have been traumatic but we are still left with feelings we can't quite understand.

    Yes everyone was healthy and the birth straightforward but I think there might be some grief maybe for the birth we imagined yet did not have.

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  12. #17
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    Whenever I hear the theme tune for game of thrones it makes me feel emotional as I was watching it when i went into labour with ds1. I think music can have a strong effect on you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    I think it's good you brought this up. Noone ever talks about how you may feel about your birth afterwards. Like some of the stories here the birth may not have been traumatic but we are still left with feelings we can't quite understand.

    Yes everyone was healthy and the birth straightforward but I think there might be some grief maybe for the birth we imagined yet did not have.
    I think also i have such ridiculous amounts of love for ds now and I look back to how I felt when he was born and I feel guilty (??) for not feeling that level of love as I do now.

    there's definitely a lot of strong emotions around birth that I haven't even begun to process I don't think. I just thought I'd have him and come home and that'd be it.

    rather naive of me really!

  14. #19
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    When I play my labor tracks I still bawl my eyes out. I do think it's normal 😊

    Pity I chose some tracks they play at my yoga studio. Will be interesting when I return to yoga! 😂

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    turquoisecoast  (16-05-2016)

  16. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnygirl79 View Post
    When I play my labor tracks I still bawl my eyes out. I do think it's normal 😊

    Pity I chose some tracks they play at my yoga studio. Will be interesting when I return to yoga! 😂
    glad I'm not the only one!!

    I downloaded some calm birth album, pretty sure it was the same one they used in the calm birth classes. definitely tear jerker material!!

    pack some tissues to your first yoga session just in case 😂

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