Reading this thread my decision on this subject has changed a few times!
I didn't think these conception and fertility threads were debate threads? If a family are willing to pay tens of thousands to undertake this, chances are they've thought it out pretty strongly. It's sad there couldn't be an informative thread on this issue because people knew there would be backlash, which is why they resorted to PMs. Clearly they are not up for having their choices debated.
Once again let me say it's not up to me what people discuss on Bubhub. There are threads on gender swaying and if there is a desire to talk about it then that could be a safe place and at the outset whoever starts the thread could set out the boundaries for the discussion.
I was asked why the warning was given at the beginning about why these threads have turned bad in the past and was trying to explain. Rightly or wrongly it's a controversial issue still in Australia.
Honestly if you don't agree with it don't participate in the thread. You've already turned it into a debate which is sad when some people do want the information. It's their life and their choice. I have been through at least 10 rounds of ivf so I have already spent more than enough money to be able to choose if I want to. Not that it's justification I don't think people have to justify their choices. If you don't like it move on.
Why even comment if you're against it? This wasn't started as a debate.
We have gone through infertility and IVF, and I don't think it's my place to say someone shouldn't go through gender selection if they so chose.
How do you know they don't have to do IVF and PGD anyway? In the US they can identify gender when doing PGD/PGS.
There are a lot of assumptions being made here.
Lastly, telling someone they shouldn't do this puts you in the same boat as those who tell people with infertility they should adopt.
To each their own ladies.
A few things:
I thought the poster after Sonja who advised finding a US forum was also indicating that BH wasn't the place to discuss the topic, but I now think I misinterpreted that. Hence me saying 'warnings' plural.
People have all kinds of ideas about what having a baby or child will be like - regardless of gender - that may or may not turn out to be true. Yes those who want a girl to "dress in pretty clothes" (I'd be surprised if there wasn't more to it than that) might be disappointed if their child isn't into that, but we often project all kinds of ideas and ideals onto our children before having them and I don't see that as being an issue iykwim. I live next to the beach, before having kids I would say how I wanted to bring my babies to the beach and go surfing with them etc etc - so far so good but if one of my kids decides they hate salt and sand it doesn't mean I've had them for the wrong reasons!
Before having children, and when dealing with recurrent miscarriage and IVF I too felt like even gender swaying was a bit vile. I would have killed for a healthy baby regardless of gender. (Before I had kids I also thought screen time and chicken nuggets were the devil.😏)
Now I have two gorgeous boys and love them to bits but there is part of me that still wants a girl. I had a boys name and a girls name picked since I was a child and I've used the boys name but the girls name is still kicking around in my head. I read the 'MIL' thread on here and think that I will be fortunate if my future DILs (if my sons are straight/ partnered/ have kids etc) let me near my grandkids.
In my case I also have 6 frozen embryos from my last cycle of IVF. I'm not keen on travelling to do more IVF when I have these embryos already - for me that wouldn't feel right - but if they're there and some of them might be girls how is it harmful to ANYONE to have them tested and to let me implant a female embryo? I disagree that it's eugenics - sex is binary (even if gender is fluid) so it's nothing like choosing traits according to DNA. And in places where it is legal - such as the US - there aren't issues with uneven population numbers so I don't see that it causes problems there either.
If you bothered to read from the beginning of the thread you would've noticed this wasn't a debate thread and purely people having an open discussion about gs. I too have done IVF for my babies but I have no problem with GS if its to balance a family or if a couple is happy with one child after years of IVF. I would rather people turf a few male embryos than terminate absolutely healthly babies like the Melbourne couple in 2011? Did because they weren't what they wanted. That's a whole other thread.
We all know gender disappointment is very real and we shouldn't make parents guilty for wanting to do what is available to them to obtain *their* perfect family.
Maybe a mod can clean it up and move the thread to a pro-gs section?...
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