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  1. #11
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    I'd be going back to where the support is before the baby is born as he won't have a say in that at all. If you wanted to move after the baby is born it would be a lot harder as legally he would be able to stop you and it wouldn't matter if you had no support or not.

    If your not happy with how he is treating you know while your pregnant with his child I doubt he will change after the child is born.

    A women's gut instinct is always right when it comes to the men is our lives or where in our lives.

    Write out a list of pro's and con's but money cannot be apart of it at all as money can alway be a striving force to make some women stay with the man for the sake of it

  2. #12
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    Can you talk to him about it? Tell him something along the lines of you just need to know where you stand. And what his intentions are with these other women and you and baby.

    I'm sorry you're facing this decision.

    I was in a similar situation and just laid all of my cards on the table. I said if he wanted to be with someone else don't play games and leave. Now..

    But if he was going to stay i needed him to cut all contact and i wanted to be there when he told her face to face.
    I also warned him that he had lost my trust and it would be a long time with alot of work on his part to try and gain it back. I also warned him i wasn't sure i could trust him again and that if that's the case I'm sorry but it's just the way it is.

    We are still together now a few years later. He messaged her because she wasn't home and then told her bf what happened and to pass on the message to stay away. We changed his email phone number etc. I still have moments though where i get suspicious and I'm trying not to act like a needy controlling teenager but i just don't know for sure....but at the same time he hadsn't given me reason not to since. .but there's still that little voice..

  3. #13
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    I have to agree with everyone elses opinions. If he can see that you are hurting and that you do not trust him, yet continues with his behaviour, then he's never going to change. The suspicion will always be there.
    I put up with the same thing for three years in a previous relationship. Your mental health and self esteem suffers, and right now you need to be with people who care for you and bub.

    Your family/ friends and extended support network are so much more important than a partner who does not respect your wishes and leaves you wondering what he's up to all the time. I know the decision is up to you, but it seems that the only thing keeping you there is the job.

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    Wise Enough  (15-05-2016)

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    I would never do this, but I know someone who has. There's an ap you can install on people's phone so every text message the receive and send a copy goes to your phone. She hid it in a folder. I think there's call ones too.

    Don't flame me hubbers I'm just saying what someone I know did do. And it helped their relationship as she realised she could trust him.
    (Not flaming you)

    Helped - until he finds out she's been a &$@!?by illegally spying on his messages - then it's game over red rover and possibly a court appearance thrown in for good measure!

  6. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    (Not flaming you)

    Helped - until he finds out she's been a &$@!?by illegally spying on his messages - then it's game over red rover and possibly a court appearance thrown in for good measure!
    Wow wait to go to the extreme. A woman was pursuing her husband. He didn't think anything of it. She asked contact to stop. Given he was working away from home she wanted to know. I know it's not great but she knows he stopped contact when asked to. She was going to leave. Now she's stayed and worked on their relationship.

    Man people you know aren't ever allowed to make mistakes are they? If you found out your husband had done this would you divorce him and file charges?

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    BettyW  (15-05-2016)

  8. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    Wow wait to go to the extreme. A woman was pursuing her husband. He didn't think anything of it. She asked contact to stop. Given he was working away from home she wanted to know. I know it's not great but she knows he stopped contact when asked to. She was going to leave. Now she's stayed and worked on their relationship.

    Man people you know aren't ever allowed to make mistakes are they? If you found out your husband had done this would you divorce him and file charges?
    A mistake would be forgetting to get milk at the shops. Not illegally tapping the phone of an innocent person. I can't believe you're glossing over the seriousness of this.

  9. #17
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    You didn't answer my question: would you divorce your husband and file charges?

  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    A mistake would be forgetting to get milk at the shops. Not illegally tapping the phone of an innocent person. I can't believe you're glossing over the seriousness of this.
    No by definition that's a mistake. Error of or poor judgment is by definition a mistake.

    Sorry I don't even know what this thread is about but couldn't go past this. You don't get to say what is or isn't a "mistake".

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    mrswhitehouse  (16-05-2016)

  12. #19
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    Default Facing being a single mum

    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    You didn't answer my question: would you divorce your husband and file charges?
    Not sure. I would lose trust, faith and respect in him. I would be worried what his paranoia and need to control meant for the future of our relationship. It's possible divorce and charges would be on the cards - depends on the specifics at the time.

    OP - pleas don't go down the snooping route if you can avoid it. It's a recipe for disaster.
    Last edited by VicPark; 15-05-2016 at 19:51.

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    Wise Enough  (17-05-2016)

  14. #20
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    I would leave before the baby is born, as that is the only time you are allowed free movement.


 

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