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  1. #1
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    Default Facing being a single mum

    I'm 29, 15 weeks pregnant, unplanned and my partner and I have been together for 2 years. 6 months ago I discovered that he had been texting (sexually) another woman, so I have had massive trust issues since then. He also has a friend who is very attractive, and talks to on a regular basis. He constantly looks at her profile on Facebook, and likes all of her photos so I believe there are feelings there. I asked him to stop talking to her, but he never has and constantly deletes her messages, changes her number in his phone etc. we have spoken about the situation numerous times, he says there are no feelings there. I've moved 6 hours away from my friends and family to be with him, and will have to quit my job as I won't get maternity leave (Ive worked in the same career for 10 years and just recently changed jobs as part of the move). I'm feeling really lost, and doubting my self worth and confidence as a result of these trust issues. I'm considering moving back home, to be closer to my support network but then face life as a single mother without job security. Am I over reacting with pregnancy hormones, or should I follow my head and get my self value back on track?

  2. #2
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    We can't tell you what to do Hun. We don't know all the evidence. But if you're not happy then leave.

    If your mum in the same state?

  3. #3
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    Honestly, if it were me, I would go where the support is. I would move back to where my family and friends are. Things might work out in the future with father of the baby, but being pregnant and having a newborn is hard enough without the worry of whether your partner is being unfaithful.

  4. #4
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    If you still can't trust your partner and constantly concerned then I would say to move back to where your family/support network is. Could you get your old job back..? You can still get paid parental leave even if you do change jobs.
    Whatever way you go, I'm sure it will all work out!

  5. #5
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    I would never do this, but I know someone who has. There's an ap you can install on people's phone so every text message the receive and send a copy goes to your phone. She hid it in a folder. I think there's call ones too.

    Don't flame me hubbers I'm just saying what someone I know did do. And it helped their relationship as she realised she could trust him.

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  7. #6
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    I really believe in gut instinct, it's rarely wrong for me. If he is deleting messages from her, he is clearly doing so bc they are inappropriate in some way. People with nothing to hide, hide nothing. It sounds like he's infatuated with this 'friend'. I personally, would need to know the truth before leaving, but not everyone is like me.

    From what you have wrote, I would be packing up and moving before the baby is born. When that happens he has rights over where you move the baby, unborn he doesn't. I wouldn't trust him as far as I could kick him.

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    People with nothing to hide and think of you as their soulmate don't behave like your DP does. Go back to family and friends, I don't think this one's a keeper xxx

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    I'd rather be a single mum then put up with a cheating partner. I left my ex because of this (and other things). I was a single mum for two years before I met my current partner. Things weren't easy but at least I was happy. Things with my current partner need sorting and our r'ship isn't perfect but he's a zillion times better than ex.
    At least you will be close to your family and friends. Lots of mums are single and they manage. With support you'll be fine.

  12. #9
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    bunkx is offline Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections
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    I would be going back to where your family and friends are, it may be the wake up call he needs then you can start working on things.

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    I'm reluctant to give advice, as only you can decide what's best for you..!

    Hugs, hugs, hugs, hugs and more hugs.. I'm sorry you're going through this.

    Ftr, I've been where you are, so my opinion is tainted by my experience, which is why I'm not going to give you advice.. Just a few more hugs!!!


 

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