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  1. #361
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    I understand where you're coming from, but hasn't VPs posts always been the unpopular ones?

    I don't know if there is a clique as such but from someone who is desperately wanting to stay "neutral" I have observed that just over the past month or so I feel the arguing against her and her viewpoints instead of replying to the op with people's own opinions seems to be increasing.

    Peace out.
    Her posts have always swayed to the unpopular opinion... Actually, I don't know if I can even recall a time that VP didn't go against the grain... However, I think her posts have recently stepped it up a notch and, I don't know about anyone else, but it seems like she's going out of her way to argue with RAH.

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  3. #362
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moxy View Post
    Kind of like the pitchfork that was aimed at Rachael Finch, yeah? Does the soul searching apply to people who were part of that lynch mob or only to those of us who called out that behaviour?
    .
    Yes. I am continually re-assessing the information at hand, including my view relating to the finches. However a bed of Rose thorns isn't the most encouraging environment for developing concepts, understanding and shared viewpoints.

  4. #363
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Wow @Little Miss Sunshine you really don't think i would do that do you?

    First I often agree with VicPark. It may surprise you but I do.

    Second I changed my view as after thinking about it I realised my judgment was hypocritical. I did the exact thing as a child (spent all weekend at my grandparents) so who am I to say someone else shouldn't.

    Also it was comments by others not VicPark that prompted me to have a good hard rethink about my views.
    Fair enough. I meant no offence. Just finding this thread a bit tiresome I guess, as it goes the way of nearly other thread of late.

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  6. #364
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    Just finding this thread a bit tiresome I guess.
    Just misread this - thought you wrote a bit "threesome" wtf...

  7. #365
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    @VicPark I just wanted to throw in my thoughts about post 4 (I think I'm remembering the one you're referencing correctly?) because it relates to the OP.

    That's an example of how reading different viewpoints can be enlightening to me. More specifically your interpretation of it. It's not how I would have interpreted it and is an example of how even our own opinions/judgements can touch nerves in different people depending on our contexts, history etc etc. regardless of intent.

    Which is why I think the right to opinions/judgements needs to be balanced against our responsibility to consider others/choose our words and timing carefully. Some people value that balance more than others. We all get passionate and heated and no one is perfect, for sure, but to me personally, it's an important factor.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I find the lack of open-mindedness on both sides of the fence - puzzling/amusing/ironic/sad.
    How is not judging someone's parenting or lifestyle choices (leaving out immoral or illegal ones) not being open minded? How is saying "it's not for me but whatever works for them" not open minded? Or is it that you consider people calling out statements like "bad parenting choices" and "she shouldn't have more children" and "she's selfish" and "she's immature" as being not open minded? Surely you're not suggesting that we should be open minded to vilifying someone for a parenting choice they have made? Or that we should be open minded to people who are not accepting or even trying to muster up a skerrick of understanding for the fact that people making different decisions doesn't mean they're bad decisions? Because if that's the case, yeah, I'll wear it. I'm pretty intolerant of intolerance. I have little empathy for people who don't have empathy. I find it incredibly hard to understand people who don't make an effort to understand people. I've often thought you have a very black and white view of the world and I know that that's been said to you before. But the Rachael Finch thing and I guess the idea of "judging" in general means realising and accepting there are more shades of grey than we see and that one shade is no better or worse than another, just different.
    Last edited by Moxy; 16-05-2016 at 17:14.

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    Okay all, as you can imagine we're getting reports, we have respectfully stayed out of the thread to honour the sentiment that has been expressed of late, in that we Mods allow robust discussion, self-moderation and not close down threads.

    However, I think a reminder is needed in regards to what is considered "not in the spirit of Bubhub'. If you post with this in mind, then all is well, if you don't, then you need to have some self-moderation and consider the impact your words have. There are real people reading these words and what you may think is a bit of sport, freedom of speech or whatever banner you wish to put your words under, always be mindful that what you say can and does have an effect, both good and bad. Thanks all.



    Please post in the Spirit of Bubhub
    That means not:
    • making rude, insulting or attacking comments to or about other members either in posts or private messages – What constitutes insulting/offensive comments
    • posting comments considered offensive by the community at large
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  12. #368
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I wouldn't consider you to be part of the clique.

    I'm fine it's nice of you to ask (I think you are lovely and genuine). Not hurting - just after recent events on BH I have come to a conclusion that it makes no difference spending hours worrying about wording etc - if you disagree with the clique you will be lynched regardless. So although I still try and be respectful (most of the time) I don't stress about specific wording. And I won't be run out of a thread like A-squares has been. Were all adults and if people can't handle a different opinion then maybe they need to do some soul searching instead of getting out the pitchfork.
    That's not really fair. I responded to A-Squared a lot, but listened to what she had to say and even acknowledged that I could have been reading her posts wrong and that was the end, yet I'm pretty sure you think I'm part of this clique.
    I'd love to have a debate with you that actually ended, but I find it impossible because you are so h3ll bent on being right that you refuse to see where someone else is coming from time and time again. I found it tiring and it gets to the point where it feels like you're talking to a brick wall and I give up. I have tried to politely point this out to you in the past, but it just falls on deaf ears. I'll be honest, I find a lot of what you say seems to come from a place of naivety and intolerance. I could be wrong, because I don't know you, but it's how your posts read to me. It has nothing to do with a clique though. I don't know or associate with anyone here outside of threads...and don't participate in chit chat threads. Your name is the most recognisable to me.

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  14. #369
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    That's not really fair. I responded to A-Squared a lot, but listened to what she had to say and even acknowledged that I could have been reading her posts wrong and that was the end, yet I'm pretty sure you think I'm part of this clique.
    I'd love to have a debate with you that actually ended, but I find it impossible because you are so h3ll bent on being right that you refuse to see where someone else is coming from time and time again. I found it tiring and it gets to the point where it feels like you're talking to a brick wall and I give up. I have tried to politely point this out to you in the past, but it just falls on deaf ears. I'll be honest, I find a lot of what you say seems to come from a place of naivety and intolerance. I could be wrong, because I don't know you, but it's how your posts read to me. It has nothing to do with a clique though. I don't know or associate with anyone here outside of threads...and don't participate in chit chat threads. Your name is the most recognisable to me.
    So in summary... In your opinion in order for us to have a successful debate I have to change my opinion to yours? Rightio

    I wasn't specifically referring to you with regards to A-Squared. It's the result of a collective effort that we could very well have lost a good hubber.

    RIP freedom of speech on the hub xxx (in a thread about judging nonetheless ! )

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    So in summary... In your opinion in order for us to have a successful debate I have to change my opinion to yours? Rightio

    I wasn't specifically referring to you with regards to A-Squared. It's the result of a collective effort that we could very well have lost a good hubber.

    RIP freedom of speech on the hub xxx (in a thread about judging nonetheless ! )
    VicPark please stop simplifying the debate into thinking unless you agree with the opposite view people are frustrated with your opinion. It's not that at all. It's the total intransigence of your stance on every single topic despite people being reasonable and explaining why the opposite view to yours is ok too.

    You just never budge. On any topic. Ever. I accept this about you and mainly I don't argue the point anymore because I know for whatever reason you won't change your view.

    It reminds me of an old dr Phil saying "do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?"

    You know I agree with you on almost every topic about women and working and why they should, and I'm not a staunch anti sleep trainer so am very middle ground.

    But sometimes it's like having someone tell me over and over again that the world is flat.

    There are others on here who also never change their views on topics and I tend not to engage too much as it's pointless too.
    @A-Squared is a great member of this forum and even though you called it a witch hunt everyone who engaged tried to make it clear they respected her as such and were trying to understand why she felt the way she felt.

    Anyway I'm trying to explain why it may seem to you that hubber get frustrated. I've been sparring wth you on topics for long enough to know that in 24 hours I'll probably agree with you on something else.


 

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