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  1. #321
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I find that horrifying for the poor kids.
    I get it's a different culture and all however I don't think culture is sufficient justification for doing something which is harmful to your kids (whether it be shipping them off to live overseas for an extended period or female circumcision etc). Makes the finches look like saints by comparison. This is my assessment of the situation - I probably wouldn't say anything to them directly (or the Finchs for that matter).
    Are you really putting kids having time living with extended family in the same basket as FGM?... Really?

    Have you spent much time in other cultures? Not everyone lives as we do here. Like in rural China, at 3pm every day you see flocks of grandparents at the school gates as they pick up all the grandkids and usually take care of them most of the time as mum and dad are working 14 hour days, 7 days a week.

    I find this whole long convo so very first world. Arguing that a child who's obviously very well looked after, with loving family in a financially privileged home is going to be emotionally scared because her parents like to go out a few nights a week. So very first world.

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    rusty22  (16-05-2016)

  3. #322
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    VP - take your kids out of school, take a years leave from work, rent out your house, each person get a big pack back, fill it with essentials and travel the world. Not England, USA, NZ, Canada - get off the beaten track and prepare to be amazed....

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  5. #323
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    VP - take your kids out of school, take a years leave from work, rent out your house, each person get a big pack back, fill it with essentials and travel the world. Not England, USA, NZ, Canada - get off the beaten track and prepare to be amazed....
    Even Eastern European countries have cultural differences with children/parents/grandparents.

    Many many people have the grandparents look after kids full time (and usually they all live in the same house!) as the parents have to work. They do not have the luxury to be SAHP as if they do not work they do not get ANY form of aged pension. The money they get is still minimal so then when the kids grow up to be adults they all live together as noone can afford to live in their own place.

    It is normal. People are well adjusted and happy.

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  7. #324
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    I've noticed actually here in Canberra that most of the kids from ethnic families at the park or playgroup or the library are in the care of THEIR grandparents or other relatives. There families are extremely unlikely to ever use CC as they prefer their children to be looked after by family.

    In country Victoria- 3&4yo kinder is odd with its hours and according to my MIL - it's grandparents that do drop off/pick up. My own MIL has my nephew every Thur AM to Fri PM to give my BIL and SIL a break.

    I know since moving here my own children are missing out on their grandparents and great grandparents.

    I think VP you are afraid of the unknown and unfortunately because you have blinkers on, you see all unknown as bad.

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  9. #325
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    Default Spinoff - when does it become okay to judge?

    I have a client who had to close down his child care business last year in Sydney as he was losing too much money, I said wow I thought the Childcare industry was booming and he said it is but I opened in the wrong area, Leichhardt in the inner west, a very heavily dominated Italian area, no one uses day care as all the nonnas look after the kids!

    I don't have any ethic backgrounds as such ( well convicts !) but none of my family use day care , our grandparents and parents always insist on looking after the kids instead ( as will I for DS ) so for us that's our normal as well ( I realise we are very fortunate to be able to do this )
    Last edited by Elijahs Mum; 16-05-2016 at 11:20.

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  11. #326
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    Holy sh!t, I completely missed the FGM comparison until I read your reply.
    VP, wtf! That is a completely unfair comparison.
    Ah come on!
    It was used as the far end of a spectrum, from one end being sending kids to stay with grandparents, to the other end being the most horrific thing imaginable.

    Bit of a witch hunt for VP going on here tbh.

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  13. #327
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phony View Post
    Ah come on!
    It was used as the far end of a spectrum, from one end being sending kids to stay with grandparents, to the other end being the most horrific thing imaginable.

    Bit of a witch hunt for VP going on here tbh.
    Except no she wasn't. She was creating a link between cultural practices that in her opinion harm children be they sending kids away to live with grandparents or female circumcision, which is an illegal act.

    There is no comparison. She did it for shock value. Well she got it.

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  15. #328
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phony View Post
    Ah come on!
    It was used as the far end of a spectrum, from one end being sending kids to stay with grandparents, to the other end being the most horrific thing imaginable.

    Bit of a witch hunt for VP going on here tbh.
    Except VP makes it sound like they're in the same category.

    I disagree. Loodle was answering my question and VP, in typical fashion, had to voice her opinion in a way that's insensitive to others. I suspect she knew what kind of response that would receive.

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  17. #329
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    "Probably"??? You probably wouldn't say anything?

    Your empathy for other people's cultures and lives is extraordinarily low.
    Yes I probably wouldn't. Under a few limited scenarios I might:
    - for example if I was out to dinner and finchy or the Mongolian father happened to be on my table, started talking about their childcare arrangements and then asked people at the table what they thought... I would probably politely tell them what I thought.

    You didn't think I was talking about ambushing the parents with a pitchfork when they are out on private business did you? (That would be the glass half empty approach!)

  18. #330
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    Are you really putting kids having time living with extended family in the same basket as FGM?... Really?
    .
    Not in the sense of the severity actual deed - in the sense that I don't think culture should be used as an excuse.


 

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