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    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    Going off topic, but I've never heard of this. Do you know why they do it?
    He never said, he just told DH that was their culture and that he and his wife will be doing the same.

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    Quote Originally Posted by loodle View Post
    He never said, he just told DH that was their culture and that he and his wife will be doing the same.
    Curiosity got the better of me and I googled. From what I read, many do it for a certain period of time so that they can work long hours to save to provide the best for their children. How interesting!

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    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    Curiosity got the better of me and I googled. From what I read, many do it for a certain period of time so that they can work long hours to save to provide the best for their children. How interesting!
    I don't think I could do it especially with how little they will see their kids with them going to a different country but like I said not my circus not my monkeys. What works for one family doesn't work for another, family dynamics is definitely not a 1 size fits all kind of thing

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    Quote Originally Posted by loodle View Post
    , he is even sending his 2 children over to his parents there from Australia and probably won't see them more often then for a week or two every 5 years.
    I find that horrifying for the poor kids.
    I get it's a different culture and all however I don't think culture is sufficient justification for doing something which is harmful to your kids (whether it be shipping them off to live overseas for an extended period or female circumcision etc). Makes the finches look like saints by comparison. This is my assessment of the situation - I probably wouldn't say anything to them directly (or the Finchs for that matter).

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I find that horrifying for the poor kids.
    I get it's a different culture and all however I don't think culture is sufficient justification for doing something which is harmful to your kids (whether it be shipping them off to live overseas for an extended period or female circumcision etc). Makes the finches look like saints by comparison. This is my assessment of the situation - I probably wouldn't say anything to them directly (or the Finchs for that matter).
    From what I read, they find it horrifying that we send our babies to childcare, to be looked after by strangers.
    I'd assume they also have much more of a "village" mentality than us.

    ETA it's also a way for the children to maintain a sense of their culture, when the parents have moved to other countries.

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    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (16-05-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I find that horrifying for the poor kids.
    I get it's a different culture and all however I don't think culture is sufficient justification for doing something which is harmful to your kids (whether it be shipping them off to live overseas for an extended period or female circumcision etc). Makes the finches look like saints by comparison. This is my assessment of the situation - I probably wouldn't say anything to them directly (or the Finchs for that matter).
    "Probably"??? You probably wouldn't say anything?

    Your empathy for other people's cultures and lives is extraordinarily low.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I find that horrifying for the poor kids.
    I get it's a different culture and all however I don't think culture is sufficient justification for doing something which is harmful to your kids (whether it be shipping them off to live overseas for an extended period or female circumcision etc). Makes the finches look like saints by comparison. This is my assessment of the situation - I probably wouldn't say anything to them directly (or the Finchs for that matter).
    But it's not harmful for them. It's their normal. It's accepted and the kids get heaps of love from their grandparents and other extended family. I've got friends who grew up in these circumstances and they are happy well adjusted adults. BTW - I got shipped off to India most school holidays so my parents could work. I loved that time with my grandmother and we became very close. I know my kids will get shipped to either my mother or MIL in school hols as I'm not a fan of vacation care.

    And it's not the same as FGM. Calling it horrifying is NOT acceptable. You deciding it's not for you is fine. Calling it horrifying and liking it to FGM is judgemental and wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    "Probably"??? You probably wouldn't say anything?

    Your empathy for other people's cultures and lives is extraordinarily low.
    This. Insensitive and rude.

    Don't hide behind 'this is my opinion and I can say what I want'.

    People do things differently than you. It does not make it wrong, bad ir detrimental to anyone. It is just different.

    Maybe next time try and understand someone's culture and reasoning and be a tad more sensitive and empathetic.

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  16. #319
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    But it's not harmful for them. It's their normal. It's accepted and the kids get heaps of love from their grandparents and other extended family. I've got friends who grew up in these circumstances and they are happy well adjusted adults. BTW - I got shipped off to India most school holidays so my parents could work. I loved that time with my grandmother and we became very close. I know my kids will get shipped to either my mother or MIL in school hols as I'm not a fan of vacation care.

    And it's not the same as FGM. Calling it horrifying is NOT acceptable. You deciding it's not for you is fine. Calling it horrifying and liking it to FGM is judgemental and wrong.
    Holy sh!t, I completely missed the FGM comparison until I read your reply.
    VP, wtf! That is a completely unfair comparison. I often think you make certain comments just to throw fuel, but then comments like above show that you seriously have your blinkers on. Did you skip the empathy class in school?

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    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    Holy sh!t, I completely missed the FGM comparison until I read your reply.
    VP, wtf! That is a completely unfair comparison. I often think you make certain comments just to throw fuel, but then comments like above show that you seriously have your blinkers on. Did you skip the empathy class in school?
    I missed it too. I am assuming it was thrown in there as an extreme example to make a point of 'cultural differences' and how they must somehow all have the wrong idea on how to rear healthy children.


 

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