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  1. #271
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    You've missed the point many are trying to make. It's not about the total hours spent with the kid, and it's not about kids spending time withy their grandparents.

    "So it goes without saying there is nothing wrong being done here" is a rather ballsy authoritarian statement to make on such an unclear and subjective issue.
    It's not many that are forcing your point VP. It's you and A-Squared. Both of you are definitely entitled to have and view your opinion.

    There is a big difference between saying "thats not for me" and saying "that's will cause long term emotional issues". THAT is a 'rather ballsy authoritarian statement' to make.

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  3. #272
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    It's not many that are forcing your point VP. It's you and A-Squared. Both of you are definitely entitled to have and view your opinion.

    There is a big difference between saying "thats not for me" and saying "that's will cause long term emotional issues". THAT is a 'rather ballsy authoritarian statement' to make.
    Know one has said "will do this" "definitely means this" "child will definitely be screwed up." Just that with the information at hand (and yes we don't have the complete picture) it may be a possibility. And I stand by that assessment.

    Forcing the point? Thats an interesting interpretation. I would prefer to consider it as stating the point and then clarifying/adding information as the thread progresses and more people ask questions. I very much welcome different opinions, and I'm not saying my assessment of the Finchs situation is necessarily correct - just that it's the assessment I've made with the information at hand and until new information arises I probably won't change my mind. I'm happy for people to disagree. Just not happy for them to try and shut down the conversation with "Im right end of story" and personal attack posts.

  4. #273
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    Default Spinoff - when does it become okay to judge?

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Know one has said "will do this" "definitely means this" "child will definitely be screwed up." Just that with the information at hand (and yes we don't have the complete picture) it may be a possibility. And I stand by that assessment.

    Forcing the point? Thats an interesting interpretation. I would prefer to consider it as stating the point and then clarifying/adding information as the thread progresses and more people ask questions. I very much welcome different opinions, and I'm not saying my assessment of the Finchs situation is necessarily correct - just that it's the assessment I've made with the information at hand and until new information arises I probably won't change my mind. I'm happy for people to disagree. Just not happy for them to try and shut down the conversation with "Im right end of story" and personal attack posts.
    But you are forcing the point. Even when people including me say we did similar things as children you keep saying there's enough to her story to make you suspect all is not well and that there are reasons you doubt her intentions are ok. I can't quote you exactly but that's the gist of it.

    I don't care enough to try and analyse everything that has been written about the finch case. But I'm more than prepared to take on face value that -

    - The kid is happy
    - The grandparent is happy
    - The parents are spending quality time with her during the week and all of Sunday.
    - everyone directly involved in their lives are happy.

    You're not happy. I doubt she's losing sleep over that.
    Last edited by Sonja; 15-05-2016 at 20:35.

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  6. #274
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    There is a big difference between saying "thats not for me" and saying "that's will cause long term emotional issues".
    And there's shades of grey in between where you consistently dance around in when it comes to sleep threads. Pot you've just met kettle.

  7. #275
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Pot you've just met kettle.
    Your constant use of that phrase doesn't even make sense anymore.

  8. #276
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    You've missed the point many are trying to make. It's not about the total hours spent with the kid, and it's not about kids spending time withy their grandparents.

    "So it goes without saying there is nothing wrong being done here" is a rather ballsy authoritarian statement to make on such an unclear and subjective issue.
    It's not really that unclear though is it?!

    It's only a small minority that are insisting on making it out to be soooo unclear and complicated.

    It is about how much time the parents are "giving up" spending with their daughter compared to spending time with her. I think i do "get it" actually.

    In judging that though, things have to be taken into account as to how much time DO they spend with her and where is the child when not with her parents, which is with her Grandmother.
    So it does become about this too as one cannot judge fairly by choosing to ignore the other facts we do know.

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  10. #277
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Your constant use of that phrase doesn't even make sense anymore.
    Just makes me want a cup of tea...

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  12. #278
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    And there's shades of grey in between where you consistently dance around in when it comes to sleep threads. Pot you've just met kettle.
    You are right. There are no circumstances in which I'd ever sleep train my children. The risks for me outweigh the benefits.

    But I'm not going to lose sleep if you do or if anyone else does. Your kid. Your problem

    ETA- tangent over?

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  14. #279
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    But you are forcing the point. Even when people including me say we did similar things as children you keep saying there's enough to her story to make you suspect all is not well and that there are reasons you doubt her intentions are ok. I can't quote you exactly but that's the gist of it.
    I recognise your point and think it's a valid one. I'm just not sure it applies to the Finch case. If me continuing to not agree with your end assessment is forcing my point, then what's it called when you continue to not agree with my end assessment?

    Disagreement doesn't = forcing the point. It just means you don't agree. It's forcing the point if you say you're right end of story and try to use personal attacks to shut down the alternative opinion (not saying that's what you've done).

  15. #280
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    Just makes me want a cup of tea...
    I've got a pot of Darjeeling here .

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