I try not to judge until I have as many facts (not hearsay) about the situation as possible. Still, I'm human, I'm not perfect (far from it), and slip up occasionally; but I do my best to not think worse of people who are quicker to judge than I am. If this thread stays open, maybe we could get back to discussing judging in general, and leave the other case for the thread already dedicated to it?
For me opinions and support are two different things. I like to analyse the information at hand and try and make an assessment based on what the information leads me to. I don't make assessments based on feelings, just fact. What I then do with that assessment is impacted by feelings. Hope that makes sense.
I'm not even slightly damaged by that. On the contrary I had an incredibly close relationship with my grandmother until she passed at 95.
FTR, I actually do hope all the things I said about her in the post you quoted, and I am as judgey as they come. Get me and my best mate together with a few wines and let the judgements flow. I just don't see the negative issues in this particular instance. I'd be far more inclined to raise an eyebrow if she said she fed her child KFC and Maccas two nights a week. Would I go into detail, calling her a bad parent for it though? Crikey, no. But yeah, I'd judge.
In response to the thread, it's always ok to judge. When we have to start moderating what we think in our minds, what our own personal thoughts are, then jeepers, never mind protecting freedom of speech, lets worry more about freedom of thought. It's when those judgements are voiced and the way in which they're voiced. Would I judge you if I overheard you saying this stuff about Rachael to a friend at the pub? No. Am I judging you for doing it on a public forum? Yeah. Is the judgement terrible? It's not positive but I've thought worse things about people ;-)
A-squared is not saying kids spending time with grandparents will harm the kid. If your parents had made the decision for you to stay with your grandparents for different reasons (they weren't kid people etc) or under different circumstances then it could have been a different experience.
It's never even dawned on me to ask my parents why it happened that way. It was just how it was.
Ps I'm shocked to hear you are judging me for judging someone else in a thread about judging
Last edited by VicPark; 15-05-2016 at 15:56.
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