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  1. #11
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Everyone judges. Judging is not necessarily negative. It's a personal analysis of something that determines our own opinions of something. Judging is necessary for forming opinions, positive and negative.

    So in short, yes I judge, I seldom voice my negative judgments but they are used to form my own thoughts on certain issues.

    E.g. From the Rachael finch situation I guess my judgment was: not for me (negative judgment - personal) but it doesn't harm anyone so who am I to say it's a bad thing?

    I would express a negative judgment in a case where I thought someone might be at risk.

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  3. #12
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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    yeah I judge.

    I judge peoples actions and behaviours and form a personal opinion about that.

    HOWEVER - I rarely state that opinion (either out loud or on the internet).

    a - I dont know all the details
    b - nobody ask my opinion
    c - other people think and do things differently to me


    at the end of the day - situations like the Rachel Finch one - its not my (or anyone elses place) to say what she is doing is right, wrong or otherwise. its only for her and her husband and family to decide.

    and if its right for them - good for them.

    Because you have an opinion, doesnt mean that you should say it.

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  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    Everyone judges. Judging is not necessarily negative. It's a personal analysis of something that determines our own opinions of something. Judging is necessary for forming opinions, positive and negative.

    So in short, yes I judge, I seldom voice my negative judgments but they are used to form my own thoughts on certain issues.

    E.g. From the Rachael finch situation I guess my judgment was: not for me (negative judgment - personal) but it doesn't harm anyone so who am I to say it's a bad thing?

    I would express a negative judgment in a case where I thought someone might be at risk.
    Well said - this is pretty much my thoughts too.

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    I silently judge. I'm human.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    Everyone judges. Judging is not necessarily negative. It's a personal analysis of something that determines our own opinions of something. Judging is necessary for forming opinions, positive and negative.

    So in short, yes I judge, I seldom voice my negative judgments but they are used to form my own thoughts on certain issues.

    E.g. From the Rachael finch situation I guess my judgment was: not for me (negative judgment - personal) but it doesn't harm anyone so who am I to say it's a bad thing?

    I would express a negative judgment in a case where I thought someone might be at risk.
    Yep this. It's actually impossible not to judge, it's an inbuilt survival mechanism - so anyone who says they don't judge is lying

    I think that it's what you do with that judgement is what counts. In regards to the Rachel Finch example, I think social media has made too many people perfect parents and people are more willing to voice their opinions from behind the relative anonymity of a computer screen. Nobody is perfect - and her little girl is obviously loved and cared for at all times so really it shouldn't be a big deal. It might not be what you personally would choose to do, but you don't have to. Save the outrage and negative judgements for those that really deserve it, like parents who repeatedly and purposefully neglect/abuse/endanger their children.

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    Default Spinoff - when does it become okay to judge?

    I judge. But it's mostly silently. I don't agree with RF's child free weekends every week. Would I ever go on her page, Internet, news site and say horrible things and slam her for it? Nup. Her family, her kid, her life. If everyone in that situation is happy, what's it to me? Nothing. (Though I do agree with the poster in the thread here who mentioned PND and hope she is OK and that's not the case).

    Would I judge parents abusing their kid? Someone hitting/abusing their partner? You betcha. Would I speak up up in those instances? In a heartbeat. Have done it before and would do it again.

    But do I judge mothers who BF? Nup. Bottle feed? Nup. If a baby is fed, that's all that matters. Working Mum's? Nup. SAHM Mum's? Nup. Do I judge those who don't vaccinate? Yep. But again, I don't say anything to them as their kid, their choice. I think it's a stupid one, but would I take kindly to someone questioning the choices I make for my kids? Nup.

    I think it's human nature to judge. But I also think it's far too easy to be a keyboard warrior and spew vitriol over people choices, when really it has no impact on you. (I'm not talking about the RF BH thread - I haven't seen it since yesterday, but the comments were kind. I can only imagine the ones on the news pages and FB were not).

    So yes, I judge. I think everyone does whether they admit it or not.
    Last edited by Californication; 12-05-2016 at 11:58.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    I'm OK with judging as quite frankly I don't care much about other people's opinions of my choices.

    I do acknowledge that people in vulnerable mindsets are more like ly to be influenced by other people's opinions/judgements.

    I judge actions all the time but rarely voice my them on bubhub. I save them for facebook and my family/friends IRL.
    I'm with you 100% I judge and don't give a flying !!!! About others judging me.

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    At the end of the day, we all try to do what we think is best. One person's best is not the same as the next persons best.
    It's human nature to form an opinion, and judge. But I try to keep my ideas to myself, especially if it doesn't affect me or hurt anyone.

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    I judge internally based on my values but I realise they're my own values and everyone has different values, so I don't make it known to others, except maybe hubby. I think judging internally is ok because it helps you develop your own values and figure out where you would draw the line when it comes to your own circumstances.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JR03 View Post
    I judge internally based on my values but I realise they're my own values and everyone has different values, so I don't make it known to others, except maybe hubby. I think judging internally is ok because it helps you develop your own values and figure out where you would draw the line when it comes to your own circumstances.
    I agree with this.

    For me, as much as I try not to, I judge instinctively. But I recognise thats just my situation and dont try to apply my values and situation on others.

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